实习医生格蕾

Grey's Anatomy S15E19

Part 5 Jan. 25, 2020, 11:58 a.m.

那时我根本不理智
I was not in my right mind.
一点都不
I wasn't in my mind at all.
那天晚上
That night that --
他按住我我大叫
that he held me down, screaming.
他掐住我的脖子
That night that he had his hands around my throat
直到我停止尖叫
until I stopped screaming,
我感觉自己灵魂出窍了
when I was hovering over my own body
而他还在撕扯我的身体
while he was tearing away at me,
那天晚上他微微一笑
that night that he smiled
逼着我说我喜欢这样
and he forced me to say that I liked it,
他大笑...
when he laughed and...
承诺只要我愿意以后随时可以再来一次
...promised that we could do it any time that I wanted to...
就是那天晚上我失去了理智
...that was the night that I lost my right mind.
他使我失去理智而后整整九个月...
He stole it from me, and for nine months --
整整九个月我假装自己没事
for nine months, I pretended I was fine.
假装我不是个行尸走肉
I pretended that I wasn't a zombie,
假装我没有心如死灰
that I wasn't numb or dead inside.
然后到了你出生那天
And then, the day that you were born,
我抱着你看着你的脸
I held you, and I looked at your face,
我...
and I...
我又感受到了爱
...I could feel again for the first time,
但...
but...
我的理智...
...my mind...
花了好多年才回归正常
...that took years to come back.
事实上我...现在都没有完全恢复
In fact, I'm -- Part of it never did.
你当然应该得到更好的
Of course you deserved better.
但我没有更好的可以给你
I didn't have better to give you.
在我怀孕七周时
I was seven weeks pregnant
我的前夫打断了我的肋骨
when my ex-husband cracked my ribs
把我扔到客厅的地板上
and threw me across the living room floor.
他不知道我怀孕了
He didn't know that I was pregnant,
那一刻我决定永远都不告诉他
and I decided in that moment that he could never know.
我找不到...找不到出路
I couldn't -- I couldn't see a way out.
至少那时如此
Not then, at least.
我知道如果我想办法离开
I knew that, if I tried to leave,
他会杀了我
he would kill me.
但我也知道我没法在那样的恐惧和危险中
But I also knew that I couldn't raise a kid
养育一个孩子
in that...fear, and in that danger.
你堕胎了
You had an abortion.
我从来没告诉过任何人
I've never told anyone that.
我不知道为什么也不因此感到羞耻
I don't know why. I'm not ashamed of it.
我...
I...
我不得不那么做
I did what I had to do.
抱歉抱歉
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
我和他长得像吗
Do I look like him?
你和他的眼睛很像...
You have my father's eyes...
但头发和我一样
but the hair is all mine.
也许还有肚子里那一团火
And maybe the fire in the belly.
我已经尽力了
I did the best I could,
而我依然...
and I'm still...
抱歉我依然只能尽我所能
I'm sorry. I'm still just doing the best I can.
她呼吸越来越急促了
She's becoming increasingly tachypneic.
通知1号♥手术室我们马上过去
Let OR 1 know that we're on our way.
艾比是时候了
Abby, it's time.
我们现在该上楼了
We have to go up now.
不我还没准备好我
No. I'm not -- I'm not ready. I'm --
艾比我知道你很害怕
Abby, I know you're scared.
不你们你们要
No, you're gonna -- you're gonna --
你们要把我带走把我打晕
you're gonna take me out and knock me out where I --
上次我出去的时候
the last time I was out,
-他就把我打晕了 -艾比听我说
- h-he knocked me out. - Abby. Abby, listen to me.
如果我们现在不做手术你会死的
If we don't do this surgery now, it could kill you.
我做不到
I can't.
我不能离开这个房♥间
I can't leave here, this room.
每个人脸上都有他的影子每个男人
Everyone has his face, every man.
我都看得见
It's all I see.
即使我闭上眼...
Even when I close my eyes...
求求你们我不想看到他的脸
Please. I can't see his face.
求你们别让我看到他的脸
Please don't l-- make me see his face, please.
你不会看到艾比
You don't have to, Abby.
你不会看到
You don't have to.
好的
Okay.
塔克说他们就是聊聊什么叫聊聊
Tuck says they're talking. What is that? Talking?
我想他们是在约会
I think they're dating.
为什么他们要这么说
Mnh. Why do they do that?
为什么他们一定要造一些新词
Why do they insist on coming up with new words
明明已经有很贴切的词了
when the old words were just fine?
这不好笑
It's not funny.
你听起来有点像是在说
Well, you -- you do sound a little, you know,
-"小鬼滚开" -才没有
- "Get off my lawn!" - no.
我希望他快乐
I want him to be happy.
我希望他
I want him to, you know,
能够小鹿乱撞美好初恋以及这一切
have the butterflies and first love and all that.
是的就是别这么快
Mm-hmm. Yeah, just not so soon.
我们得让他坐下来
We're gonna have to sit his butt down
教他什么是尊重
and teach him about respect...
共情认同
...empathy, consent.
避孕套天呐
Condoms -- Oh, dear Lord.
我得和儿子谈谈避孕套的问题
I have to talk to my son about condoms.
非常有必要
100%.
或者
Or...
我可以坐下来和他谈谈
I could sit down with him.
这取决于你
It can be on you.
但我爸和我谈了这个问题还挺有效
But my dad gave me this talk, and it worked.
我得走了
Mm, I gotta go.
比尔西医生请到儿科
Dr. Birsh to Pediatrics.
谢利·比尔西医生请到儿科
Dr. Shelly Birsh to Pediatrics.
抱歉主任
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
你不能进入
You, uh -- You can't go through there.
为什么不能
Well, why not?
因为他们叫我别让你进去
Because I've been asked to see that you don't.
怎么
Wha--
但她可以进去
Well, but she can go?
是的主任
Yes, sir.
克莱夫医生让我们都站在这儿
Dr. Karev asked us to all stand here?
你知道为什么吗
Do we know why?
有个病人需要我们
Just... that a patient needs us.
她需要我们所有人
She needs all of us.
好吧
Okay.
好了女士们请你们分成两列
Okay, ladies, we need you all to line up
站在左边或者右边
either on the right side or left.
请保持中间通道畅通
Please keep this middle aisle clear.
准备好了吗
Are you ready?
好了
Yes.
准备好了吗
Ready?
我就在这儿
I'm staying right here.
我只见过士兵这样站
I've seen soldiers like this.
年轻的女人和男人被虐待
Young women and young men, brutalized,
却难以启齿
with no idea how to talk about it.
你今天对艾比所做的不符合规矩
What you did today with Abby, that was not protocol --
我明白非常抱歉
I know, I know, and I'm sorry.
我是说应该这么做
I'm saying it should be.
艾比你好
Abby, hi.
我们成功修复了你的横膈膜
We were able to repair your diaphragm.
我们需要在胸腔里放置引流管
We had to place in a chest tube for drainage,
但基本上几天后就会取出来
but that'll probably come out in a few days.
如果你决定报♥警♥ 你的检查证据会留在这里
And your kit will stay here, if you decide to report it.
你认为我应该这么做对吗
You think I should do it, don't you?
这不取决于我们
That is not our call to make.
但我们确实认为你应该找个人谈谈
But we do think that you should talk to someone.