实习医生格蕾

Grey's Anatomy S15E07

Part 5 Jan. 25, 2020, 11:55 a.m.

不能从我身边
* No, they can't take that away
被带离
* From me
我们之前做骶神经植入的时候
Oh, that's just a little routine we used to do
就会唱唱歌♥
over sacral nerve implants back in the day.
- 我表现如何 - 太完美了
- So, how did I do? - Oh, you were perfect.
就跟专业病人一样
Just like a professional patient.
我们还在等检查结果
We're still waiting on the results.
凯瑟琳我能给理查德打电♥话♥了吗
Catherine? Can I call Richard now?
等会吧我想喝点真的酒
In a bit. I think I need a real drink.
韦伯医生
Dr. Webber.
韦伯医生她已经不行了
Dr. Webber, she's been down.
我知道
I know.
时间
Time...
死亡
Time of...
死亡时间下午3：42
Time of death, 15:42.
我叫吉娜我是一名酒瘾患者
Hi. I'm Gina. I'm an alcoholic.
你好吉娜
Hi, Gina.
我上周丢了学校的工作
I lost my job busing for the school district last week.
因为预算缩减我简直不敢相信
Budget cuts. I couldn't believe it.
好久没见你了
Haven't seen you around in a while.
我还以为我要升职了呢
I thought I... I thought I was getting a raise.
工作太忙
Work.
很高兴你回来了
Glad you're back.
我拿起最后一张支票
I grabbed my last paycheck,
身体里每个细胞都在大喊打给你的互助人
and every bone in my body told me, "Call your sponsor."
但我想着我走一走就好了
But I thought, "I'll just walk it off.
走走路就没事了
I'll just walk it the hell off,"
就好像喝醉酒就好像心情不好
like being a drunk is like being in a bad mood
或者减肥一样
or trying to lose a few pounds.
我经过这间酒吧州长先生就在主道旁边
I pass by this bar, McGovern's, right off Main,
我看到窗户里面的小标语
and I see this crappy little sign in the window,
用纸胶带贴着
hung up with masking tape.
徽章换酒
"Chips for Shots."
一开始我不知道这是什么意思
And at first, I... I didn't know what it meant.
后来我看到了徽章
And then I see the emblem.
你给他们你的戒酒徽章每年一个徽章
You give 'em your chip, and they give you a shot
都可以换一杯酒
for every year you're sober.
我希望我当时能跟你们现在的感觉一样
I wish I could have felt the way that you feel right now...
愤怒惊骇
angry, horrified.
但我那时候觉得自己好幸运啊
But all I could feel in that moment was lucky,
因为我戒酒四年了我有四个勋章
because I have four years under my belt
这样我的银行账户里就多了4刀
and I got 4 bucks in my bank account.
曾经
Had.
我曾经戒酒四年
I had four years.
我觉得真丢脸
God, I'm so ashamed.
但我又回来
But I'm back,
我现在戒酒24小时了
and I got 24 hours under my belt,
我觉得自己很幸运
and I am grateful.
跟我说说结果吧
Okay, run it down for me.
检查结果还没出来呢
Look, the results aren't in yet.
肿瘤可能是良性的
The tumor could still be benign,
- 你先别担心呢 - 为什么要这样啊
- so let's not worry about that until... - Why do we do that?
有什么不敢说不能聊的
Why do we refuse to talk about it?
如果我得了癌症
If I have cancer...
- 现在不能确定啊 - 但是有可能啊
- We don't know that you do. - Yeah, but I might,
你俩在这兜圈子并不能改变什么
and your tip-toeing around it doesn't make it any better.
- 你们要什么 - 安德鲁是的
- Can I get you guys something? - Andrew, yes.
你喝什么汤米
What are you having, Tommy?
外面都还没天黑呢
The sun is still out.
他跟我一样纯龙舌兰酒
Oh, he'll have the same as me... tequila, neat.
双份梅瑞狄斯
Make his a double. Meredith?
一样
I'll have the same.
谢谢
Thanks.
所以
So...
你们是觉得聊起癌症这件事会吓到我吗
Do you think, if you talk about it, it'll scare me?
还是会让我想起来
It'll remind me?
你们觉得我坐在这里
Do you think there's any world where I'm not sitting here
右脚是麻木的
wondering if my right foot is numb
是因为高跟鞋穿久了
because of the heels
还是因为肿瘤已经压♥迫♥到神经了
or the tumor snaking down my spine?
你们觉得我是坐在这里
Do you think I'm sitting here now
想着还要多久
wondering, "How long is it gonna be
我们的招牌上才会变成
before they tack the word 'Memorial'
纪念医院啊
at the end of that sign?"
这些年来我终于历尽艰难
After all these years, I have built a legacy
创建了以我命名的基金会
that finally has my own name on it.
我还等这看我的孙女
I have a granddaughter
接管一切驰骋世界呢
that I want to watch take over the world.
你们不觉得我会担心我没机会看到了吗
You don't think I'm sitting here wondering if I'll get to?
不管你们说什么
There is nothing you could possibly say
都不可能比我想象的更糟糕了
that's worse than what I've been imagining
从我看到片子的那一刻起就这么想了
since the second I saw those scans.
如果真的是肿瘤的话
Well, if it is cancer,
可能会是
we are looking at, um...
骨肉瘤或者软骨肉瘤
osteosarcoma or a chondrosarcoma.
所以呢
Which means what?
如果是骨肉瘤说明还没转移
If it's osteo, assuming it has not spread,
可以做化疗和镭射
we are looking at chemo and radiation
来缩小肿瘤尺寸
to shrink the size of the tumor
然后尽量在不会瘫痪的风险下进行手术
and operate with as little chance of paralysis as possible.
那如果是软骨肉瘤呢
And if it's chondrosarcoma?
软骨肉瘤是个猛兽
Chondro is a beast.
化疗是不起作用的
Doesn't respond to chemo.
所以如果你够幸运虽然这种可能性很小
So, if you're lucky... and that's a big if...
我们会尽量切除避免
we may be able to cut it out without, uh...
避免让我四肢瘫痪
Making me a quadriplegic,
那我就再也不能给人做手术了
which means I'll never operate again.
我酒喝得上头了
Okay. So that tequila went right through me.
我要去找白马王子了
I got to go see a man about a horse.
格蕾医生你是我职业生涯中
Dr. Grey, you are among the finest surgeons
见过最优秀的医生之一
that I've seen in my career.
但这不是我叫你来的唯一原因
But that's not the only reason I called you here.
我能从理查德的眼中看出
When I look in Richard's eyes,
他已经快要撑不住了
he's barely holding on.
他的互助人去世了他还没有找到替代
His sponsor died, and he hasn't replaced her,
如果我跟他说了这个
and if I tell him this...
凯瑟琳
Catherine.
我妈妈就隐藏了诊断结果
My mother hid her diagnosis
然后因此孤身一人很多年
and spent years alone because of it.
这不是让你
This is not an excuse
推开你爱的人的借口
to cut the people you love out of your life.
梅瑞狄斯我不确定他能不能承受
Meredith, I don't know if he can handle this.
我也不确定他能不能
Well, I don't know if he can handle it, either,
但这也是他的人生
but it's his life, too.
你不能替他做这个决定
This is not your choice to make for him.
医院留言了
All right, the hospital, uh, paged.
活组织检查结果出来了
The biopsy results are back.
好了
Okay, well...
- 说吧 - 好
- Let's do this. - Yeah.
再来一杯吧
One more?
可以了
That's good.
不用了谢谢
I'm okay, thanks.
你去寻找上帝的时候
When you went on your... your whole GodQuest...
寻找上帝
GodQuest?
我脑子里反正是这么想的
It's what I called it in my head.
你不辞而别的时候
When you left without telling me, um...
我心里松了口气
A part of me was relieved.
心理有一个小角落长吁口气
This tiny part of me... exhaled
因为我以为你会
'cause I thought you would...
走进树林
you would go to the woods,