实习医生格蕾

Grey's Anatomy S18E17

Part 5 Oct. 14, 2022, 8:46 p.m.

我会做我该做的西蒙
I'll do what I have to do, Simon, okay?
但我更希望你能从手术中活下来
But my strong preference is that you survive this surgery.
所以我需要你全身心地进行抗争
So I'm gonna need you to get your head in the game.
好吗
Okay?
-没问题 -我是认真的
- You got it. - Yeah.I'm serious.
-躺下吧 -好
- Now, lay back. - Okay.
你闭上眼睛
You close your eyes,
想想之后醒过来与孩子见面的事
and you think about waking up and meeting your kid, okay?
好我们要给你戴麻醉面罩了
Okay, so we're going to put this mask on you,
你从十开始倒数
and you're going to count backward from ten.
告诉你一声我们有义务联♥系♥你的紧急联♥系♥人
Just so you know, we are obligated to call an emergency contact.
所以我们会给你妻子打电♥话♥
So we will be calling your wife.
-什么不 -不完全是那样
- What? No. - That is not entirely true.
我们不能让她自己出院
We cannot discharge her by herself.
不如我们先治好她的动脉瘤
Why don't we just repair the aneurysm first?
如果我妻子发现我撒谎了
If my wife finds out I lied --
那么也许你就不应该撒谎
Then maybe you shouldn't have lied.
恩都古医生你不如先去准备手术吧
Dr. Ndugu, why don't you go scrub?
这里有我
I've got this.
她的血压降到最低了
Her pressure's bottomed out.
-给她打电♥话♥ -给她插管帮我穿手术服
- Call her. - Intubate now! Gown me.
她的动脉瘤可能破裂了
Her aneurysm might have ruptured.
我们需要立刻给她开刀
We need to open her up now!
快给她腹部做好准备
Prep the abdomen fast!
至少我的眼睛已经不干了
Well, at least my eyes aren't dry anymore.
那玩意太讨厌了
That stuff was awful.
我以前很喜欢这东西
I think I used to like it back in the day.
现在大♥麻♥的效果
Yeah, well, the weed is a lot stronger now
可比以前强劲多了
than it was back in the day.
我在急诊室看到过的因为吸食大♥麻♥
I can't tell you the amount of kids I see come in the ER
而导致精神崩溃的孩子数不胜数
with full psychotic breaks just from smoking weed.
你怎么那么久才来
What took you so long?
我刚才正听贝利斥责我们的集体失败
I was listening to Bailey rant about our collective failure
还有"你男朋友要造♥反♥"
and "Your boyfriend getting to go rogue
"因为他和梅瑞狄斯·格蕾一伙"
because he's with Meredith Grey."
她的原话不是我说的
Her words, not mine.
好吧我去解决
Okay, well, I'll go take care of that.
看住他
Just keep an eye on him.
-我能听见 -你多多喝水
- I can hear you. - You stay hydrated.
你感觉怎么样
How are you feeling?
我感觉像是把十年的清醒给丢进了垃圾桶
Like I just threw a decade of sobriety in the garbage.
知道吗
You know,
我以前甚至都不知道大♥麻♥能是液体形式的
I didn't even know that marijuana came in a liquid form.
我还不知道为什么会有大♥麻♥在我家
And I still don't know why it was in my home.
凯瑟琳喜欢喝马提尼鸡尾酒她不是瘾君子
I mean, Catherine likes her martinis but she's not a pothead.
她不会这样对我用大♥麻♥诱惑我
She wouldn't do that to me. Tempt me like that.
让我失去十年
Make me lose ten years.
如果你说实话你没有故意要嗑药
If you can honestly say that you did not intend to get high,
你不是故意要再次嗑药
and you don't intend to do it again,
你不应该
you shouldn't --
你不应该改变清醒日
you shouldn't change your sobriety date.
你赢得了那十年
I mean, you earned those ten years,
只不过发生了意外罢了
and accidents happen.
我想也是
Yeah, I guess so.
从积极的方面来看
Well, on a positive note,
我对怎样重塑项目有了新的领悟
I think I had an epiphany on how to reinvent the program.
起码知道了该如何改善
Or at least improve it.
艾蒂逊对我说
Addison said something to me.
医学从来都是以数据为本
Medicine has always been about the data,
只关心输赢对错而不是人们的死活
okay, the wins versus the losses instead of the people.
这确实很有效
Yeah, and it worked.
而且效果还不错
Hell, it worked well,
但却抹除了人性
but it wiped out the -- the humanity.
我们的住院医生忘记了他们是人
Our residents forget they're people
忘记了他们正在帮助他人
and that they're helping other people.
我们必须改写这个故事
So we have to rewrite that story.
确保他们不会失去或忘记
Make sure that they don't lose or forget the --
自己的初心
the best part of themselves.
使他们成为大写的人
That they can be whole individuals
丰富自己的学识懂得推己及人
that blossom and -- and grow with --
实现自身的全面发展
with empathy and -- and -- and knowledge.
我很清楚这并非一日之功
Look, now, I know we can't improve the program overnight.
但是这就像种树
But it's like planting a tree, okay?
疏松土壤
I mean, you prepare the ground
然后播下种子
and you -- you nurture the seed,
但那棵树会长得比你还高大
but the tree that grows will outlive you,
不管你能否活到那一天
whether or not you're there to see it at all.
你还磕嗨呢吗
Are you still high?
有一点
Little bit.
不是吧
Oh, no.
它被包在血管结构周围
It's wrapped around the vascular structures.
看见了
I see it.
所有人计划有变
Okay, everyone, change of plan.
我们得疏通肠道给他多争取一点时间
We're gonna divert the bowel, buy him a little more time,
-让他稍微舒服点 -不行
- make him more comfortable. - No, no.
等一下你一点都不打算切除吗
Hold on, you're not gonna resect any of it?
太危险了他会失血过多
It's too dangerous. He could bleed out.
所以你要让这个东西一直待在他肠道里
So -- So he's just supposed to live with this in his bowel?
又不是我把肿瘤放进去的林
I didn't put the tumor in there, Link.
你就打算这么缝合让他带着累赘过活
So you're just gonna close him up with a stool bag and that's it?
另一个选择是我什么都不干直接缝合
The other option is I close him without doing anything.
他已经是将死之人了林
He's dying, Link.
这会缓解他的疼痛
This will help him with his pain.
他能过得好受一点
He'll live a better life,
哪怕他就剩几个周了
even if it's just for a few weeks.
他想见见他的儿子
He wants to meet his son.
好吧准备进行回肠造口
Okay. Let's prep for an ileostomy.
就要完成末梢吻合术了
Almost done with the distal anastomosis.
脱脂棉
Pledgets.
你不能跟病人怎么说话
You can't talk to patients like that,
不管他们有多离谱
no matter how ridiculous they're being.
我知道
I know.
你直到还不够你造成了她组织破裂
It's not enough that you know. You ruptured her and --
不是我♥干♥的是它自己破裂的
I did not rupture it. It ruptured.
你非要和她吵架并且延误了
You picked a fight, and you delayed --
又不是我让她组织破裂的她拖了好几周
I didn't rupture it. She waited for weeks.
她隐瞒了好几周她的伤情
She lied about her pain for weeks.
然后就破裂了不是我的错
And it ruptured. That is not my fault.
赫尔姆准备缝合
Helm, why don't you get ready to close?
恩都古医生你可以走了
Dr. Ndugu, you can go.
-麦琪 -你可以走了
- Maggie. - You can go.
我留下来了
I stayed.
我也答应帮忙了答应干活了
I said yes to helping, yes to working,
可你还是闷闷不乐
and you still can't be happy.
你何必要折磨一名
You have to torture a doctor
自愿留在这帮忙的医生
who volunteered to be here to help.
我到底为什么要留下来
Why did I stay?
你到底想干什么
What do you want?
我不知道
I don't know.
我不知道
I don't know.
我不知道
I don't know.
我不知道
I don't know.
这个项目要失败了
This program is failing.
我感觉我也很失败
I feel like I'm failing.
第一任女主任都是她的责任
The first female chief, and it's on her.
一直都是她的责任
You know, it's always on her.
前几任男主任都失败后她才得到这个机会
The woman who was given a chance after a string of messy men.
我不知道我想要什么
I don't know what I want.
我真的手足无措
I just feel helpless.
一切都失控了
Because it is all out of my control.