实习医生格蕾

Grey's Anatomy S18E12

Part 6 March 30, 2022, 11:25 a.m.

Hey, my baby.
妈妈
Mom!
好了
Okay.
你是什么时候接触音乐的
When did you get into music?
-几年前 -真的吗
- A few years ago. - Really?
你看起来像从小就学过
You looked like you'd been playing since you were a kid.
实际上是从一次挑战开始
It started as a dare, actually.
我朋友带我去开麦之夜
My friend took me to an Open Mic Night,
确信这会治好我对公众演讲的憎恶
certain it would cure my hatred of public speaking.
没效果
Didn't work.
显然
Clearly.
确实还是讨厌但表演就不同了
No, still hate it, but performing is different.
它像是我自己深处的一部分
It's like this deep part of myself
并不经常出现
that doesn't get to come out often...
有机会成为一名摇滚明星
gets to be a rock star.
你在舞台上真是无忧无虑
You're real carefree on stage.
确实是
I am.
还自信十足
And self-assured.
就在我以为自己已经搞懂了生活时
Just when I feel like I'm figuring my stuff out...
出现了对生活更明确的人
...life lifes.
为什么你假装自己不是一个摇滚明星呢
Why do you pretend like you're not a rock star yourself?
谢谢你的恭维
Thank you for flattering me.
不是的我好奇
No, I-I'm wondering.
你为什么自我贬低
Why do you self-deprecate?
你远不是那样
You're more than that.
我不知道
I don't know.
我猜...
I guess...
某种程度上是我的防护盾牌
it's kind of become my shield of armor.
保护
Protection.
保护什么
From what?
保护我不要爱所有自己
From fully loving every part of me.
因为如果我这样做那么...
'Cause if I do, then...
我值得其他人也那样爱我
I deserve a love that does the same.
我花了很长时间接纳自我
It took me a long time to embrace all of who I am.
外在的爱就像糖衣
So, outside love is like icing.
我甚至不觉得我完全了解自己
I don't even think I know all of who I am.
我很乐意去了解完整的你
Well, I'm excited to get to know all of who you are.
我也是
Me, too.
你确定你们两个不想一起来吗
You sure you two don't wanna come?
应该会有个很酷的满月仪式
Should be a sick full moon ceremony.
梅瑞狄斯超酷的满月仪式感兴趣吗
Meredith? Sick full moon?
-不用了 -我们就不去了
- I'm good. - We'll pass.
见到你很开心
It was nice meeting you.
我很高兴舅舅有其他可关心的人
I'm glad my uncle has someone else to worry about.
祝你们在哥斯达黎加玩的开心
Have a great time in Costa Rica.
我们会的
We will.
-下个星期是吗 -对对对
- So, next weekend, yes?- Yes, yes, yes.
我会来我会告诉我旅行的一切细节
I will come, and I'll give you all the deets about our trip.
坐标航♥班♥ 我要碰的树
You know, coordinates, flights, the trees I'll be touching.
好吧再见
Okay. Goodbye.
我很抱歉毁掉了我们周末
I'm sorry our weekend got ruined.
不这就是我们的生活
No, these are our lives.
没必要因为他们而道歉
There's no need to apologize for them.
我不习惯有人帮忙
I'm not used to help.
别人给我意见
Someone else's opinion.
但凡你了解我的为人
Well, if you know anything about me,
你就得习惯这一点
you'll have to get used to it.
对我来说确实很难
Well, yeah, that's not easy for me.
要是你的妹妹遇上这种情况
I mean, how would you feel if I was trying
我施以援手你会作何感想
to give you help when it comes to your sisters?
我不会喜欢的
I wouldn't like it,
而且我会说你错了
and I would tell you you were wrong.
那我们必须得适应这一切
Well, then, we're gonna have to get used to it.
夏洛特是个好姑娘
Charlotte's a great girl.
你是个好家长
You did a really good job.
奇怪的是
The weird thing is,
我也不想让她重蹈我的覆辙
is I don't want her to end up like me, either.
固执倔强有一天她醒来
So rigid one day, she wakes up
想要反思一切
and wants to rethink everything.
你现在是这样吗
Is that what you're doing?
我选择的这个职业
I chose a career
拯救一个人意味着另一个人就会死掉
where saving one life means losing another,
每一次都比上次更煎熬
and every case feels harder than the last.
你想要放弃吗
Are you thinking about quitting?
没有
No.
我不知道
I don't know.
我不知道
I don't -- I don't know.
汉密尔顿觉得我接下帕金森症的项目
You know, Hamilton thinks that I took the Parkinson's project
是因为我想努力治好阿尔兹海默症
because I'm really trying to cure Alzheimer's.
-是这样吗 -我不知道
- Is that true? - I don't know.
我也不知道自己还能否回到
But I also don't know if I can just go back
格蕾-斯隆纪念医院继续当外科主任
to Grey-Sloan and be Chief of General anymore.
我觉得今天你见我不是...
You know, I think today, you saw that I'm not the, um --
我不是最...
I'm not the most, uh...
耐心吗
Patient?
没错
Yeah, that's it.
遇到自己家人的事谁还能耐心
Who is patient when it comes to their family?
我也不会
Not me.
我也有脾气的
I also have a temper.
-你还有脾气 -当然
- You have a temper? - Yeah.
我可不信
Well, I don't believe it.
我曾经摔过一把牵开器
I threw a retractor once. Yeah.
大约八年前在我没能救回一个病人之后
About eight years ago, after losing a patient, I --
我没伤到人但我大约
I didn't hit anyone, but I-I think about it
每天回想一遍
about once a day.
我也很难相信别人
I also have a very hard time trusting people.
如果你是卖♥♥保险的或者不喜欢狗
And if you sell insurance or you don't like dogs,
你就完蛋了
you're dead to me.
这点我也同意
Well, agreed on that.
我只是
I just --
当我陷入爱河时我
When I'm falling in love, I-i-i --
我很害怕
I mean, it scares me
因为我这辈子几乎没爱过
because I've done it very rarely in my life.
我只是不喜欢失控的感觉
I just don't love the feeling of losing control.
当你陷入爱河吗
When you're falling in love?
没错当我陷入爱河
Yeah, when I'm falling in love.
-这是你的 -谢谢
- There you go! - Thank you.
麦琪阿姨还好吗
Is Aunt Maggie okay?
很好
Yeah.
她很好
She's all right.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
你觉得我的生母会想起我吗
Do you think my birth mother thinks about me?
你会想起她吗
Do you think about her?
我想知道她的近况但我对此内疚
I wonder about her, but I feel bad about it.
我不想让我妈伤心
I don't want to make my mom sad.
我觉得这很正常好奇我们从哪来
I think it's normal to wonder where we came from
我们为什么是这样的人
and why we are the way we are.
我们对此
And we can --
我们对此可以有不同的感受
we can have different feelings about it.
成长的过程中我不喜欢待在我爸身边
Growing up, I didn't like being around my dad
就因为他做的一些决定令我不爽
because of some of the decisions he made.
但我的妈妈
But my mom --
她就是我的英雄
she was my hero.
我妈也是我的英雄
So's mine.
你可以留下来
You know, you could stay.
-我不能 -为什么呢
- I can't. - Why not?
因为我是个母亲
Because I'm a mom.
当我在明尼苏达的时候
And when I'm here in Minnesota...
我身体上的每一个细胞都在想念我的儿子
...I miss my son with every cell of my body.
我希望那部分的我不会吧你吓跑
And I hope that part of me doesn't scare you away,
因为这部分是我非常喜爱的自己