绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S02E21

Part 2 May 22, 2024, 10:07 p.m.

她想要相关负责任的人走人
She wants the responsible party fired,
艾得撒了个谎然后告诉她...
and ed lied and told her...
是你送的
That you sent them.
但这不是我是你
But... but it wasn't me. It was you.
我知道
I know.
噢噢艾得不可能失去你
Oh, oh, but ed couldn't possibly lose you.
不不不我变成了牺牲品
No, no, no, I'm the expendable one.
听着我知道这个很没道理
Look, I know it's ridiculous,
但艾得不是一个有理智的人
but ed is not a rational person.
弗兰已经责备过他了
Fran has him whipped,
而一个受到责备的丈夫我们必须谨慎的对待他
and a whipped husband is someone we must take very seriously.
好吧
Okay.
我们怎么办？
How do we handle this?
你在合同期中
You're under contract.
除非艾得有理由否则他没法开除你
Ed can't fire you unless he has just cause.
所以等到这场风波结束你就是个模范雇员了
So until this blows over, you have to be a model employee.
只要出现这一次就无需3瓶马提尼的午餐了
Show up on time, no more 3-Martini lunches,
最重要的是这只是一场戏
and above all, have ready all your presentations.
我不能想象我竟然成了一个受害者
I can't believe I'm being victimized like this.
甜心为了让这个事情进展顺利...
Well, honey, in all fairness...
无论如何都要把这些事情完成
Those are all things you should be doing anyway.
好！
Fine!
安德鲁我让彼得明天晚上过来一起吃晚饭
Andrew, I am having Peter over for dinner tomorrow night,
而我想知道你是不是愿意邀请贾斯丁一起来？
and I was wondering if you would like to invite Justin?
谢了我今晚给他打电♥话♥
Yeah. Um, thanks. I'll... I'll call him tonight.
既然你们都有自己的男友
Since you two are having your boyfriends over,
我能不能邀请马修? 跑题了
can I invite Matthew? Out of the question.
所以我直说吧--你可以和一个lush（酒醉后和别人调情）约会
So let me get this straight... You can date a lush,
而他可以带他的同性恋男友回来
and he can bring over his gay lover,
但是上帝啊禁止我约会一个性感的黑人
but god forbid I date a hot black guy.
除非他们能把卡博关住
Until they lock Caleb up,
否则我不想你去接近他们家任何人
I don't want you anywhere near that family.
他的兄弟差点玷污了你
His brother tried to rape you,
而他的母亲把他关在了地下室
and his mother keeps the guy locked up in a basement.
我的意思是承认吧丹妮尔其实你可以找个更好的
I mean, let's face it, Danielle, even you could do better.
你什么时候站到母亲那边来批判我了？
Since when do you take mom's side over mine?
你的弟弟和我之间谈了一次
Your brother and I had a talk,
而且我们交换了各自的意见
and we've come to a détente of sorts.
真的吗? 甚至在他把你灌醉让你失去了信托基金后
Really? Even after she screwed you out of your trust fund?
well 他确实虚伪地控诉我虐待儿童
Well, he did falsely accuse me of child abuse.
我会说我们打平了你说呢安德鲁？
I would say we're even. Wouldn't you, Andrew?
当然妈我们打平了
Sure, mom. We're even.
(低声说话) 你能不能现在停止你虚伪的笑容
You can stop smiling now.
我知道你的面部已经僵硬了什么？
I know your face is tired. What?
我不愚蠢我知道你还和以前那样恨她
I'm not stupid. I know you hate her now as much as ever.
妈妈和我现在相处的很好
Mom and I are in a good place right now.
为什么你不能理解不了呢？
Why can't you believe that?
hi 我收到你的消息了什么事？
Hi. I got your message. What's up?
进来说
Come on in.
这是奥利弗.韦斯顿
This is Oliver Weston.
他是个私♥家♥侦♥探♥ 伊迪雇他的
He's a p.I. Edie hired.
伊迪雇了个... 侦探？
Edie hired a... p.I.?
yeah 他正在监视你和卡尔
Yeah. He's been spying on you and Karl.
你好？
How you doing?
他认为你和他之间有风流事
He thinks you two have been having an affair.
我和卡尔？
Me and Karl?
你为什么要这么认为呢？
Why would you think that?
(卡尔) 来吧苏你知道的我们注定是要在一起的
Come on, suze. You know we're meant to be together.
(苏珊的声音) 卡尔不要
Karl, just stop.
Well...
这是卡尔一个人在怀念过去
That is Karl being nostalgic.
(卡尔) 你说你自己经历的
You said yourself,
上周的性事是你目前为止最棒的
the sex last week was the best you ever had.
(录音机停止) okay um...
Okay, um...
首先这个不是我说经历最好的
First of all, it wasnot the best sex I ever had.
我说那个只是会让他感觉很不错
I just said that to make him feel better.
(密语) 显然你才是我说经历最棒的那位
Obviously, you were the best sex I ever had.
原来我脸上的一拳是这么来的
That explains the punch in the face.
如果你不闭嘴我会再给你一拳
I'm gonna hit you again if you don't shut up.
我知道这个看上去很糟糕--
I know that this looks bad...
你确实在伊迪背后和卡尔鬼混
You were actually fooling around with Karl behind Edie's back.
不不不！不卡尔骗了我
No, no, no! No, Karl lied to me.
他告诉我他之前已经和伊迪分手了--
He told me that he and Edie had split up before...
你知道吗? 我不关心这个麦克...
You know what? I don't even care. Mike...
(奥利弗) 我们结束了吗? (麦克) 当然
Are we done here? -Yeah.
晚安苏珊
Good night, Susan.
哦...
Oh...
你等一下等一下等一下 um...
Hey! Hey, you, wait, wait, wait. Um...
你能不能不把这个告诉伊迪
Okay, you cannot tell Edie about this.
无论她给你多少价钱我给你双倍
Whatever she's paying you, I'll pay you double.
她给我2000元的佣金加上开支
She paid a 2-grand retainer plus expenses.
$2,000？
$2,000?
呀! 我应该也搞房♥地♥产♥
Jeez! I gotta get into real estate.
我没那么多现金
Okay, I don't have that kind of cash.
well 那么我应该把录音带给布利特小姐了
Well, then, I guess I take the tape to miss britt.
我有备份！
I have a copy!
啊
Ugh!
okay 我们试试另外的办法
Okay, let's try this another way.
你给她录音带就好像在这里释放了一个核弹
You are about to unleash a nuclear explosion.
这里的生活都会被摧毁
Lives are going to be ruined.
我来告诉你
I'll tell you what.
我会直到周一才去给布利特小姐
I'll hold off till Monday to report to Ms. Britt.
好! 那会给你些时间去凑些现金
Yes! That'll give you some time to scrape together a little cash.
如果我凑不齐呢？
What if I can't?
我很抱歉萧梅错过了所有申诉的最后期限
I'm sorry, but xiao-Mei missed all of her appeal deadlines.
就这样吗? 你要把她送会中国？
So that's it? You're just gonna send her back to China?
我是公平的
My hands are tied.
如果你的女仆和一个美国公民成婚
If your maid were married to an American citizen,
或者她有个美国公民的孩子
or had a child who was an American citizen,
或者她是个知名的娱乐界人...
or if she were a well-known entertainer...
呃...
Uh...
如果她为一个美国公民怀孕了怎么办？
What if she was pregnant withan American citizen?
uh,萧梅？
Uh, xiao-Mei?
(咯咯笑) 我们同国土安♥全♥部♥谈过了
We spoke to homeland security,
而且我们有好消息！
and we have good news!
我能留下来？
I can stay?
Mm-hmm!
哦! (哭喊着) 谢谢你们！
Oh! Thank you!
哦! 谢谢你们！
Oh! Okay. Thank you!
呃... 有件很小的事情...
Uh... well, there's just one little thing...
(咯咯笑) 呃...
Um...
在这个国家移♥民♥法非常难搞定
The immigration laws have gotten really tough in this country,
所以我们离成功还有最后一点点
so we're a little behind the eight ball going in.
但我们为了你的事情申诉了
But we pled your case,
而且我们从头到底都为了你奋斗最后法律允许你继续留下来...
and we fought tooth and nail, and the law says you can stay...
但只有当你怀着我们的孩子
But only if you have our baby.
什么？
What?
代理人说如果你...
The agent said that if you were...
为一个美国公民怀孕
Pregnant with an American citizen,
然后他们就不能遣返你
then they couldn't deport you.
所以我们考虑你需要怀一个孩子
So we thought, you need a baby in your belly,
我们需要一个代♥孕♥母亲...
we need a surrogate...
你赢-他赢-我赢.
Win-win-win.
"代-孕-母-亲"？
"Sur-ro-gate"?
这会是我们的孩子
Oh, well, it would beourbaby.
它只是在你体内成长
It would just be growing inside of you.
我...
I...
Okay, uh... well...
呃... 哦! 就像这样...
Uh... oh! Okay, it's like this...
我们三个正在做你们的著名的四川包子
The three of us are making your famous szechuan dumplings,
(咯咯地笑) 我是生面团
And I'm the dough,
而卡洛斯是猪肉（译注：pork也可指与女性发♥生♥关♥系♥）