绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S02E01

Part 3 May 22, 2024, 10:07 p.m.

这不是你一直梦寐以求的吗
Isn't that what you always wanted?
卡洛斯等等
Carlos, wait!
我向你道歉了也说了我爱你
I said I was sorry and I love you!
你还想要什么
What more do you want?!
亲子鉴定
I want a paternity test.
爱波怀特太太你好
Mrs. Applewhite, hi.
我是布里·范德坎普
I am Bree Van de Kamp.
这是我女儿丹妮尔
and this is my daughter Danielle.
你好 -你好
Hello -Hi.
你好我叫马修 -他是我儿子
Hey, I'm Matthew -This is my son.
我本该早点过来拜访的
Hi. I would have been over sooner to introduce myself,
不过最近家里有人去世了
but I'm afraid there's been a death in my family
是我爸爸
My dad
为你难过 -我爸爸也去世了
I'm so sorry -I lost my dad, too
我很能体会你现在的心情
I know what you must be going through right now.
谢谢
Thank you
总之我此次前来有个不情之请
Anyway, I'm afraid that my visit has an ulterior motive
我们教堂的风琴手去度假了
The organist at our church is on vacation,
听伊迪·布利特提起
and Edie Britt mentioned that
你当过音乐会的钢琴手
you used to be a concert pianist, and...
能为您演奏我很荣幸
I would be honored to play for you
我稍后带一些曲子过来
Why don't I bring some sheet music over later
到时我们讨论一下选曲如何
and we can plan some selections?
谢谢你真是让我如释重负
Thank you. That's just a huge weight off my shoulders.
这些送给你们 -真是贴心
Oh, these are for you. -How sweet
布里我们寡妇得团结起来
Bree, we widows have to stick together.
再见
Bye
假装你父亲死了吗
Pretending your father's dead?
你不觉得这有点病态吗
Don' t you find that a little morbid?
我只是觉得这样可以帮助掩盖我们的事
Well, I just thought it could help our cover story, okay?
可以得到他们支持
Just, you know, win'em over.
宝贝你一番好意我心领了
Oh, sweetie. I know you meant well.
不过下次别再耍这种小聪明了
But in the future, you leave the cleverness to me
（此屋装有多赛特安保系统）
我们什么时侯用起多赛特安保系统了
Since when are we protected by dorset security?
不没有这是为了威慑万一扎克回来呢
Oh, we're not. It's a deterrent in case Zach comes back.
我跟麦克说我晚上睡不着
I told Mike I didn't sleep last night,
所以他给我弄了这个标志
so he got me this sign.
他很支持我
That guy is so supportive.
这会儿他正在外面
You know he's out right now in a ride-along
和警♥察♥一起搜寻扎克的踪影呢
with the police searching for Zach?
是吗-是啊
Really? -Yeah
他铁了心要把那孩子绳之以法
He's determined to see that kid behind bars
你明天到学校也要做做宣传让大家都知道
So tomorrow at school I want you to let everybody know
我们新装了这个昂贵的安保系统
that we got this new, expensive security system.
妈妈可是 -尽量装作不经意地提起
Mom, but... -Just work it into the conversation
把话放出去
You know, put the word out there
我得告诉你些事
I've gotta tell you something
重点要说运动检测器
Emphasize the motion detectors.
妈妈停停听我说
Mom, stop, stop. Listen.
什么你要说什么
What? What is it?
昨天我偷听到麦克告诉那个警♥察♥
Yesterday I overheard Mike telling that cop
他不想起诉扎克
that he didn't wanna press charges against Zach.
他把整件事说得好像是你的过失
He made the whole thing sound like it was your fault.
我的过失
My fault?
（产前及初生婴儿护理）
我需要做个亲子鉴定
Hi. Uh, I need a paternity test.
好我们给你安排时间做检查
Well, we'll just schedule you for an exam.
不不是那意思我不需要做测试
Oh, no, no I-I don't need to take a test
我只是想让我丈夫放心
I am just trying to reassure my husband
让他相信我内心深知的事实
of what I know is true in my heart
所以只要你给我看看别人的测试结果
So if you could just slip me someone else's test results,
我就可以给自己弄一份
I could make my own.
圣诞节时我装了修片程序
I got Photoshop for Christmas
别这样
Oh, come on
你看起来像是个爱找乐子的女孩
You look like a fun-loving girl.
我敢肯定你也遇到过棘手状况吧
I am sure you've been in a couple hairy situations of your own.
就算我化的妆比较前卫
Just because I choose to express myself
也并不意味着我就容忍♥通奸行为
doesn't mean that I condone adultery.
抱歉
Sorry.
亲子鉴定结果吗
Paternity test results?
了解我跟你同病相怜
I know I'm in the same situation.
是吗 -是的
Really? -Mm-hmm
我发现诊所把事情都搞砸了
I just found out the clinic screwed up
给我的卵子竟然来自同性恋
and gave me an egg that belonged to some lesbian.
那卵子本来是要移植给她的同性♥爱♥人的
It was supposed to be implanted in her lover,
这会儿我丈夫可担心了
and now my husband's freaking out
恐怕我们的孩子也会是同性恋
because he thinks that our baby's gonna be gay!
是这样啊那我们情况有点不同
Okay We're in slightly different situations.
想不想去喝杯咖啡然后聊聊呢
But do you wanna get a cup of coffee and talk about it?
好那倒不错谢谢
Yeah. That'd be nice. Thanks.
当然我们女人得团结起来
Yeah. Us girls have to stick together.
我们不能让那张讨厌的纸片儿毁了自己的生活
We shouldn't let that stupid piece of paper ruin our life.
对
Yeah!
虽然我认识雷克斯已经很多年了
Obviously, I've known Rex for years,
但说到写悼词这件事
but when it comes to writing a eulogy,
我希望家人能够提供尽可能多的材料
I like as much input from the family as possible.
好什么样的材料
Oh Well, um, what kind of input?
他的意思是逸闻趣事
Oh, well, he means anecdotes,
小故事之类
little stories
你是这个意思吧神父
Isn't that what you mean, reverend?
是的不过还有
Well, yes, but, uh, also...
我想你可能需要帮忙
I thought that you might need some help,
所以昨晚我一夜没睡
so last night I stayed up all night
努力回忆了雷克斯的快乐时光
and tried to remember funny things
以及能充分展现他风采的事情
and moments that said so much about Rex as a person.
天哪你写了多少页
My How... how many pages do you have there?
15页
15
你没必要
Well, you're hardly going to have
把那都写上神父
to write anything at all, reverend.
其中一些趣闻是无价的
Some of those anecdotes are just priceless.
菲利斯你写的这些都是
Phyllis, these are all things
雷克斯上大学以前的事情了啊
that happened to Rex before he went to college
那又怎样
So?
你不觉得悼词中多一点
Well, don't you think it'd be nice if reverend devoted
他婚后的生活不是更好吗
part of the eulogy to his life after he was married?
是啊那是当然
Oh, well, yes, of course
这点神父是会提到的
the reverend will mention that part of his life.
不仅仅是提到
He's going to do more than mention it.
而且应该是悼词的主要部分
That's the part he'll focus on.
至于童年逸事我想
In fact, I think three anecdotes from
三个就足够了
Rex's childhood is more than enough.
这样也好
Um, that... that seems fair.
好吧你决定了就好
Well, whatever you think is appropriate
好的
Fine
只是我觉得
I just thought
如果要回顾雷克斯一生中的某段时光
if we were going to focus on a time in Rex's life,
为何不选择他最快乐的日子呢
that we might as well focus on the happiest time.
好了来讨论下花吧
Let's talk flowers.
百合是传统的选择
Now I know lilies are traditional,
不过我能帮你们订购一些白玫瑰
but I think I can get you a deal on some white roses.
神父您要是不对她刚才过激的言谈
Reverend, if you don't call her on
说点什么的话
that incredibly insensitive comment,
我就要发火了
I'm gonna lose it.
我想她不是那个意思
I'm sure she didn't mean it the way it sounded
我想我表达得非常清楚 -女士们
I knew exactly what I was saying -Ladies...
雷克斯一生最幸福的时光不是他的童年
The happiest time in Rex's life was not his childhood
他乐于为人父为人夫
He loved being a husband, and he loved being a father
这么说吧为人父可能没错
Well, he may have loved being a father,
不过你们的婚姻简直就是场灾难
but your marriage was a disaster.
菲利斯你不妨直说吧
Phyllis, is there something you'd like to say?