绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S01E01

Part 1 Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.

《绝望的主妇》第一季第一集
Desperate Housewives S01E01
我叫玛丽·艾莉丝·杨
My name is Mary Alice Young.
如果你看了今天的早报
When you read this morning's paper,
可能会读到一篇报道
you may come across an article
有关我上周异常的一天
about the unusual day I had last week.
通常我的生活没有任何新闻价值
Normally, there's never anything newsworthy about my life,
然而直到上周四一切都改变了
but that all changed last thursday.
起初每件事情都显得很平常
Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.
我为家人准备早餐
I made breakfast for my family.
做家务
I performed my chores.
完成手工制♥作♥
I completed my projects.
取回干洗的衣服
I ran my errands.
事实上这天太平常不过了
In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day,
平静地打理着家里的一切
quietly polishing the routine of my life
直至完美
until it gleamed with perfection.
这就是为什么
That's why it was so astonishing when
当我走向走廊的壁橱
I decided to go to my hallway closet
拿出从没用过的左轮手♥枪♥时
and retrieve a revolver
会如此令人震惊了
that had never been used.
第一个发现我尸体的是
My body was discovered by my neighbor,
我的邻居玛莎·胡博太太
Mrs. Martha Huber,
她被这突如其来的声音吓了一跳
who'd been startled by a strange popping sound.
受好奇心驱使她想到一个
Her curiosity aroused, Mrs. Huber tried to think of a reason
不请自来的理由
for dropping in on me unannounced.
片刻犹豫之后
After some initial hesitation,
她决定把半年前
she decided to return the blender she
借去的搅拌机还给我
had borrowed from me six months before.
我的邻居她被枪击了
It's my neighbor. I think she's been shot.
地上全是血
There's blood everywhere.
是的快派救护车过来
Yes, you've got to send an ambulance.
赶快
You've got to send one right now.
然后有那么一会
And, for a moment,
胡博太太静静地站在厨房♥里
Mrs. Huber stood motionless in her kitchen,
陷入了深深的悲伤
grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy.
但仅数秒而已
But only for a moment.
如果说胡博太太有什么优点
If there was one thing Mrs. Huber was known for,
那就是凡事她都往积极的一面去想
it was her ability to look on the bright side.
我的葬礼在星期一
I was laid to rest on a Monday.
葬礼结束后紫藤郡的邻居们
After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane
都去我家表达他们的哀思
came to pay their respects.
他们按照惯例
And, as people do in these situations,
带来了食物
they brought food.
勒奈特·斯加沃带了炸鸡
Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.
勒奈特家有很棒的炸鸡秘方
Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.
当然当她还在职场打拼的时候
Of course, she didn't cook much
她很少做饭
while moving up the corporate ladder.
因为没时间
She didn't have the time.
但当被告知怀孕后
But when her doctor announced she was pregnant,
她的老公汤姆有了主意
her husband Tom had an idea.
"你不如辞职吧"
"Why not quit your job?"
"全职妈妈有利于孩子的成长"
"Kids do better with stay-at-home moms."
"这样压力也会小很多"
"It would be so much less stressful."
现实却不尽如人意
But this was not the case.
勒奈特的日子变得更加忙碌
In fact, Lynette's life had become so hectic
以至于她不得不去快餐店
she was now forced to get her chicken
点了份外卖♥♥炸鸡
from the fast-food restaurant.
如果勒奈特回头想想
Lynette would've appreciated
她会发现一切都背道而驰
the irony if she'd thought about it.
可惜她根本没时间
But she couldn't. She didn't have the time.
-都给我停下来 -但是妈妈
- Stop it, stop it, stop it. - But, mom.
别这样你们今天得乖乖的
No. You are going to behave today.
我不想在整条街的邻居
I am not going to be humiliated
面前丢脸
in front of the entire neighborhood.
你们要知道我不是说说而已
And, just so you know how seerious I am...
那是什么
What's that?
圣诞老人的手♥机♥号♥码
Santa's cell-phone number.
你怎么得到的
How did you get that?
我朋友的朋友认识一个小精灵
I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf.
如果今天你们谁捣蛋
And if any of you acts up,
相信我我会打电♥话♥给圣诞老人
so help me, I will call Santa
告诉他圣诞节你们只想要袜子
and I will tell him you want socks for Christmas.
想试试吗
Are you willing to risk that?
好那就乖乖的吧
Ok. Let's get this over with.
住在街角的加布丽尔·索利斯
Gabrielle Solis who lives down the
带了西班牙辣味炒饭
block brought a spicy paella.
自从在纽约做了模特后
Since her modeling days in New York,
她的品位有了很大的提升
Gabrielle had developed a taste
只吃名贵食物
for rich food...
只约有钱男人
...and rich men.
卡洛斯从事兼并与收♥购♥业务
Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions,
在第三次约会时向她求婚了
proposed on their third date.
加布丽尔被他的泪水打动了
Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes.
但她很快发现
But she soon discovered this happened
卡洛斯每做成一笔大生意时都会这样
every time Carlos closed a big deal.
加布丽尔喜欢热腾腾的炒饭
Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.
然而她和丈夫的关系
However, her relationship with her
却日益冷淡
husband was considerably cooler.
你跟艾尔·梅森聊天时
If you talk to Al Mason at this thing,
不妨顺便透露下
I want you to casually mention
你项链的价钱
how much I paid for your necklace.
干脆在我胸前贴上标签好了
Why not pin the receipt to my chest?
他故意告诉我他为他老婆的
He let me know how much he paid
敞篷车花了多少钱
for his wife's convertible.
不经意提到就好
Look, just work it into the conversation.
卡洛斯我做不到很随意地插话
There's no way I can just work that in, Carlos.
怎么会呢在唐纳修的宴会上
Why not? At the Donahue party,
每个人都在谈论公共基金
everyone was talking mutual funds.
而你却想方设法告诉大家你跟扬基队
You found a way to mentioned you slept with
一半的外场手上过床
half the Yankee outfield.
我再说一次当时大家就是谈的这些
I'm telling you, it came up in the context of the conversation.
人们在看我们了
Hey, people are starting to stare.
你能小点声吗
Can you keep your voice down, please?
当然了我们可不愿意
Absolutely. We wouldn't want
被别人发现我们不愉快
them to think we're not happy.
住在隔壁的布里·范德坎普
Bree Van De Kamp, who lives next door,
带了两篮她亲手烤制的松饼
brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch.
布里擅长烹饪
Bree was known for her cooking,
自己缝纫做衣
and for making her own clothes,
亲手打理花♥园♥
and for doing her own gardening,
甚至自己翻新家具
and for re-upholstering her own furniture.
是的布里非常能干
Yes, Bree's many talents were known
远近皆知
throughout the neighborhood.
紫藤郡的每个人都觉得
Everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of
布里是个完美的妻子
Bree as the perfect wife and mother.
每个人不包括她的家人
Everyone, that is, except her own family.
保罗扎克
Paul. Zachary.
你好范德坎普太太
Hello, Mrs. Van De Kamp.
布里不必这么麻烦的
Bree, you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble.
一点都不麻烦
It was no trouble at all.
扎红丝的这篮
Now, the basket with the red ribbon
是为客人们准备的
is filled with desserts for your guests,
蓝♥丝♥带♥的这篮
but the one with the blue ribbon
是特地为你和扎克准备的
is just for you and Zachary.
里面有面包圈松饼
It's got rolls, muffins,
和一些早餐食物
breakfast type things.
谢谢
Thank you.
我能帮的就这些了
Well, the least I could do is make sure
至少明天早上
you boys had a decent meal
你们还能吃上顿像样的早餐
to look forward to in the morning.
我知道你们悲痛万分
I know you're out of your minds with grief.