绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S06E15

Part 6 Oct. 24, 2019, 3:14 p.m.

人们不会对隔壁住着一个脱衣舞♥女♥的女人
No one judges the woman from the looney bin
有什么评头论足的
When there's a stripper next door.
太棒了
This is great.
大学毕业后我就再也没和女同胞
I haven't had a female roommate since...
做过室友
after college.
为女生欢呼
Let's hear it for girl power!
我们该出去喝杯东西庆祝一下
You know, we should go out and have a drink to celebrate.
我不知道
Oh, I don't know.
医生告诉我应当出去走走但是
My therapist says I should get out more, but...
但那天去加布家都觉得
Even being over at Gaby's house the other day, it's...
有点困难
It's just hard.
我理解
Yeah, I get that.
在精神病院里到底是什么感觉
So what was it like being in a mental hospital?
你知道的
You know...
和你想像中差不多
As much fun as one would expect.
我这么问是因为
I only ask 'cause of my mom.
我妈妈曾把我当作出气桶
She used to use me as a punching bag,
我做梦都希望能把她关进去
And I always dreamed about having her committed.
你说什么
I'm sorry.
我只是说说其实她喝醉了才那样
Oh. No, it was only when she was drunk.
她这么做是
It was her way of coping
对我父亲有外遇的发泄
With my dad cheating on her all the time.
我还记得我希望我父亲丑陋无比
I remember wishing that he was ugly
这样不会有其他女人喜欢他
So other women wouldn't want him.
但他和克林特·伊斯特伍德一样帅
But he looked like Clint Eastwood.
总之妈妈要找人撒气
Anyway, mom had to take out her anger somewhere,
而我比起6尺4英寸的卡车司机更容易成为目标
and I was an easier target than a 6'4" Trucker.
其实
Actually...
在医院的日子很不好过
It was pretty bad at the hospital.
人们常说你能做的
People always say it's the screaming
只有尖叫
that gets to you.
但至少尖叫意味着你还活着你懂吗
But at least screaming means you're alive, you know?
我不能忍♥受的是
What I couldn't take
那些目光呆滞的人们
were the people with the blank stares.
曾经有一位女士
There was this one woman
整天呆呆地坐在花♥园♥里
who sat frozen in the garden all day,
轻声念叨着那句歌♥词 "老麦当劳大叔有一座农场"
whispering the words to "Old MacDonald has a farm"
念了一遍又一遍
over and over and over.
那当她唱到 "这里嘎嘎那里嘎嘎
The doctors ever take offense when she got to
到处嘎嘎叫"的时候
"here a quack, there a quack,
医生是不是会不爽
everywhere a quack-quack"?
你知道吗
You know what?
如果有两个人
If there were ever two people
理所应当出去畅饮一夜
who deserved a night out drinking...
那会是咱俩
It's us.
-好吧 -嗯
- Okay... - Mm-hmm?
-等价交换 -嗯
- Quid pro quo. - Mm?
我告诉了你被限制人身自♥由♥
I told you what it was like to
躺在床上的情形
go to bed in restraints,
所以我认为你要告诉我
So I think it's only fair
当舞♥女♥的情形才公平
that you tell me what it was like being a stripper.
那样的日子很残酷
Ooh. It was brutal.
如果我能从每个打我屁♥股♥的人那里
If I had a dollar for every guy
得到一美元
that slapped me on my butt
只因为他喜欢如此...
just 'cause he felt like it...
真快想起来了真的
Come to think of it, I do.
打扰了我和我的朋友想知道
Excuse me. Uh, my friend and I were wondering
你们是否愿意加入我们那桌
if you'd like to join us at our table.
不了谢谢今晚是姐妹之夜
No, thank you. It's girls night out.
酒吧里坐着两位如此美丽的女子
Two beautiful women in a bar.
别怪我上前问
Can't blame a guy for asking.
如果你们改变主意我们就在那边
Uh, we're over there if you decide to go coed.
我想过去跟他们一起坐会不会不好
Is it bad that I wanna go sit with them?
-你愿意 -是啊
- You do? - Yeah!
已经很久没有帅哥跟我调情了
It's been a while since a guy that cute has flirted with me.
那我们过去吧
You know what? Let's do it.
真的
Really?
你看上去那么性感别把时间浪费在我身上了
Yes. You look way too hot to waste it on just me.
-走吧 -嗯
- Shall we? - Mm!
你肯定有秘诀
Come on. You've gotta have a secret.
没有只用了洗发水和护发素而已
Nope. It's shampoo and conditioner.
看起来真美
Well, it looks amazing.
你该去上美发杂♥志♥的封面
You should be on the cover of hair magazines.
-你刚才说你是做什么的 -我没说过
- What is it you said you do? - I didn't,
但是我朋友凯瑟琳
But my friend Katherine,
她就要开自己的酒席承办公♥司♥了
she's starting her own catering company.
只是有这个想法
Oh, well, thinking about it.
我对烹饪充满着激♥情♥
Cooking's a passion of mine.
但经营自己的生意
But a lot has to happen
要准备的很多
before I start my own business.
-我知道了你是个模特 -不对
- I know. You're a model. - No.
-牙科保健员 -不对
- Oh. Uh... dental hygienist? - No.
-你是名空姐 -不对
- Oh, I know. You're a flight attendant. - Mnh-mnh.
你还是告诉我吧
You may as well tell me,
否则我会猜一个晚上的
or I'm just gonna keep guessing all night.
她是个舞♥女♥ 行了吧
She's a stripper, okay?
前舞♥女♥ 抱歉
Ex-stripper. I'm sorry.
你干嘛道歉我们热爱舞♥女♥
Oh, hey, why are you apologizing? We love strippers.
她们就像是坦露出胸部的
Yeah. They're like angels of mercy...
仁慈的天使
that show their boobs.
我们该走了
We should probably get going.
你说什么呢
W-what are you talking about?
我们还没跳舞呢
We haven't even danced yet.
我真的不想跳
Oh, I don't really feel like dancing,
虽然我不能代表凯瑟琳的意愿
although I can't speak for Katherine here.
只是我想跟你跳舞
Well, it's just, I wanna dance with you.
你们没被这位时髦风趣
You're not attracted to someone who's classy, witty,
又美丽动人的女士吸引吗
not to mention breathtakingly beautiful?
不是冒犯你的朋友但你才是我的喜欢的类型
No offense to your friend, but you're more my type.
既然如此
Oh. Well, in that case,
我想我就把她留给我自己了
I guess I'll just keep her all to myself.
晚安各位
Night, guys.
天啊
God...
-想想他们脸上的表情 -我知道
- The look on their faces... - Oh, I know.
真是"我十分有兴致" 和"我只想回家"
It was the perfect combo of "I am so turned on"
的完美组合
and "I am so going home alone."
你要记住这招
You should remember that
以便下次你想中止一次糟糕的约会
the next time you want to get out of a bad date.
我不这么想
Oh, no, I don't think so.
这两头蠢猪证实了
Those two pigs confirmed
我最近一直在想的事
what I've been thinking for a while now--
我想对我而言是时候彻底放弃男人了
I think it's time for me to give up on men.
上帝保佑姐妹儿
Mm. Amen, sister.
正式宣布我有约会的日子结束了
It's official. My dating days are over.
我是说你不用把话说得这么绝
I mean, you don't have to take it that far.
你永远可以效仿我刚才的做法
You could always just do what I did
发掘其他的选择
and explore other options.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
撒一张更大的网
Cast a wider net?
把水池拓宽
Expand the pool?
跟女人约会
Date chicks?
-你是... -没错
- So you're... - Yep.
正式成员
Card-carrying.
我还觉得那个吻非常有说服力
I thought that kiss felt awfully convincing.
我跟男人约会了很长时间
Well, I mean, I dated guys for a long time and...
从没有过心灵相通的感觉
I just never really felt a connection.
后来我开始跳脱衣舞
And then I started stripping,
包围在许多自信
and I was surrounded
性感的女人之中
by all these confident, sexy women,
我意识到
and I realized,