绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S06E01

Part 3 Oct. 24, 2019, 3:12 p.m.

我只是过来给你
I'm just dropping off the menu
达文波特夫妇的周年宴会菜单
For the Davenport anniversary party.
你已经做完了吗还有三个月呐
You finished that? Already? It's three months away.
这些日子我闲得发慌
Well, I have a lot of free time on my hands these days.
好啊苏珊
Hello, Susan.
你好凯萨琳
Hi, Katherine.
最近好吗
How--how are you doing?
好久没见你了
Haven't seen you in a while.
我最近
well, I've been...
经常用后门进出
Using the back door a lot more lately.
凯萨琳你的扣子
Katherine, your buttons...
我脑子有点发昏
I don't know where my head is anymore.
是我的错觉吗
Whoa. Was it just me
刚才让人尴尬的喘不过气
Or was that the most awkward moment ever?
用屁♥股♥想都知道是
You bet your sweet ass it was.
亲爱的给我倒杯水吧
Hon, could you get me a glass of water, please?
-没问题 -谢谢
- You got it. - Thanks.
我们的第一胎
It's our first.
看出来了
Yeah, I got that.
你呢
How about you?
生了四个怀了两个
Four at home, two on the way.
大家庭啊真幸福
Oh, big family. You're so blessed.
做妈妈是这世界上最甜蜜的事了
I just can't imagine anything better than being a mommy.
是吗
Really?
当然我知道很辛苦
I mean, I know it's a lot of work,
幸运的是我先生会全力协助
But luckily my husband plans to be really hands-on.
那是不可能滴
Yeah. That's not gonna happen.
什么
Pardon?
一开始他会帮你
Oh, he'll be there at first,
也许换一两片尿布♥什♥么的
Maybe even change a diaper or two
新鲜劲很快就过了
Until the novelty wears off.
至于凌晨四点帮忙喂奶
But those 4:00 a.m. feeding
你还是别指望了
He said he'd help out with? Forget it.
你不认识我老公强尼他不一样
Oh, you don't know my Johnny. He's different.
他有乳♥房♥♥吗
Does he have boobs?
没
No.
那只能你自己来
Then you're the only bar in town.
你孩子朝婴儿监控器大哭
That baby can scream into a bullhorn,
而强尼动都懒得动
And Johnny won't budge.
是是吗
O-okay.
谢谢
Thanks.
我还没说完
I'm not done.
看到了吗
You see this?
你再也穿不了比基尼了
You'll never wear a bikini again.
可你生了四个孩子
But you've had four kids,
你现在身材也不错啊
And you look good.
你还没见过我不♥穿♥衣服
You haven't seen me naked.
我的小腹就像坨西班牙灰泥
My stomach looks like spanish stucco.
而我的乳♥房♥♥就像
And my breasts resemble two balloons
放了一周的漏气气球
You'd find behind the couch a week after the party.
大多数女人都说这是她们毕生最棒的经历
Most women say this is the greatest experience of theirife.
大多数女人都是骗子
Most women are liars.
我母亲骗了我
My mother was liar,
因为她母亲骗了她而你母亲也骗了你
And her mother was a liar,and your mother is a liar.
这是代代相传的谎话
It's a lie every generation tells the next
这样她们就能儿孙满堂
So they can get grandchildren.
请别再说了
Please stop talking to me.
不你得听着这样才能做好万全准备
No, you need to hear this. you have to be prepared.
你的孩子会打你还会偷你的钱
Your children will hit you and steal from your purse.
你丈夫
Your husband will begin
随便买♥♥份生日礼物打发你
to buy your birthday presents at the car wash
更要命的是你的余生
And the kicker-- for the rest of yo life,
常常感到孤单寂寞
There will be so many moments when you feel lonely,
但别妄想得到一刻安宁
But you will never be alone.
没水了果汁可以吗
They were out of water.Is juice okay?
荷尔蒙
Hormones.
习惯就好了
Get used to it.
总算让我盼来这一天了
I cannot believe we are finally going to do this.
你真不是个容易摆平的女人
You're not an easy woman to pin down,
但我乐于碰壁
But I sure am going tonjoy trying.
怎么
What?
这太出乎意料了
This is not what I was expecting.
我的身材还是挺健美的
Hey, I think I look pretty good for my age.
不是说你卡尔我是说这屋子
Not you, karl. the room.
这里又脏又臭
It's filthy and hideous.
上周带你去豪华宾馆
Well, I took you to a nice hotel last week,
但被熟人撞见只好走了
And we had to leave 'cause you saw someone you knew.
在这还能撞见什么人
Who we gonna run into here?
总之不会遇见整洁的女士
Well, certainly not a cleaning lady.
好吧这里是有点脏
Okay, so it's a little dusty.
可相信我一旦开始缠绵你绝对会忘乎所以
But trust me,once I get started, you'll never even notice.
天呐看这些床单
My god, those sheets!
怎么了
What's wrong with them?
褪色破烂
They're discolored, threadbare
还散发着工业漂白剂的臭味
And reek of industrial bleach.
给我五分钟时间他们就会散发我们的味道
You give me five minutes, they'll reek of us.
卡尔我不想躺在那破床单上
Karl, I'm not gonna lie on that revolting sheet,
想着多少瘾君子死在那上面
Wondering how many junkies have died on it.
你想让我怎么处理
What do you want me to do about it?
埃及棉
Ooh, Egyptian cotton!
很漂亮是吧
These are pretty, aren't they?
很好我喜欢走吧
Great. love 'em. let's go.
我挑什么你都这么说
It doesn't help when you say that about every single set.
布里一小时前我还半裸着身子
Bree, an hour ago, I was half naked.
现在却在挑床单
Now, I am sheet shopping.
我也不容易啊
Forgive me if I'm an easy sell.
我担心这颜色不配地毯
I'm just not sure this colour will match the carpet.
我会选蓝色的
I’ll get them in blue.
我会告诉你它们配什么
I'll tell you what they'll match then.
好吧我就买♥♥这个
Fine, I'll take these.
现在我们只要路上买♥♥些花
Now, we just neet to stop for some flowers.
买♥♥花
Flowers?
我只希望能尽善尽美
I just want this affair to be nice.
你不是追求尽善尽美
You know, you don't want this affair to be nice.
你压根就不想和发♥生♥关♥系♥
You don't want it at all.
别傻了
Don't be silly.
我当然想
Of course I do.
你自欺欺人
You may think you do.
可我已经追了你两周
But I have been chasing you two weeks.
可你总是推三阻四诸多借口
And you've down nothing but throw up roadblocks.
今晚不行
"not tonight."
这间宾馆不好
"not this hotel."
那些床单太烂
"not those sheets."
卡尔
Karl
如果你觉得我在耍你那就错了
if you think I've been leading you on, you're wrong.
布里不是你的错
Bree, it's not your fault.
只是你的本性使然
It's just who you are.
你是个乖女孩无论多苛刻的规矩
You're a good girl, never breaks the rules
你都会循规蹈矩
no matter how miserable it makes her.
我以为"卡尔时光"能给你生活加点料
I thought a little karl time might brighten your day.
我现在投降了
But there's not much I can do for someone
你继续当你的乖乖女
who'd rather be good.
拒绝快乐的生活吧
Than happy.
要帮忙吗
Can I help you?
有份快递给苏珊·梅尔
I've got a delivery for Susan Mayer.
可她不在家
But she's not home.
能替她签收吗
Do you mind signing for her?
新娘服装
那一定是她的婚纱
Oh. that must be her gown.
我来接收吧
Of course I'll take it.
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