绝望的主妇
Desperate Housewives
第六季
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绝望的主妇
Desperate Housewives S06E15
Part 2
Oct. 24, 2019, 3:14 p.m.
还睡在赛车小床里的帕克
Still-sleeps-in-a-bed-shaped-like-a-race-car Parker?
当然我拒绝他了
Of course I said no.
然后他就要付我现金
Then he offered me cash.
进来吧
Come in.
坐下
Have a seat.
怎么了
What's up?
出什么事了吗
Something wrong?
我们本以为要再过一年
We hoped it would be another year
才需要进行这种亲子对话
Before we had the parent-son conversation
来教育你不要用钱来和邻居上♥床♥
where we tell you not to offer your neighbor money for sex.
但是
But...
见鬼 她告诉你们了
Oh, crap. She told?
没错
Yeah.
你下次得找个嘴更严的舞♥女♥
You might want to pick a more discreet stripper next time.
你想什么呢
What were you thinking?
我们可不是这么教你的 不是吧
We raised you better than that. Didn't we?
没错 不是
Yeah, we did.
我们不是 那么 你想怎么申辩呢
We did. So... What do you have to say for yourself?
我是非常 非常 非常
I just really, really, really...
需要和人上♥床♥
needed to have sex.
三个"非常" 这样的话
Three "reallys." Well, in that case,
这里是20美刀 回去再试一次
Here's a $20. Go back and try again.
你是个16岁的男孩
You are a 16-year-old boy.
我们能够理解
We understand
你现在正处于荷尔蒙控制大脑的时期
your hormones are holding your brain hostage,
但你为什么会想要花钱买♥♥♥春♥呢
But why would you think you would need to pay for sex?
因为我是我所有朋友中
Because I'm the only one of my friends
唯一的一个处♥男♥
Who hasn't lost his virginity.
首先 他们是他们
First of all, we've seen your friends
相信我 祛痘霜 贴身内♥裤♥
And trust me, "Pimples," "Braces"
快让我高兴起来吧 这些都没有意义
And "beam me up, Scotty" are not gettin' any.
女孩子们可没这么看我
Girls don't look at me that way.
以后也不会
It's never gonna happen.
别管这些
Knock it off!
你是个好孩子
You are a great kid!
你不需要在这方面花钱的
You don't need to pay for it.
将来
In a few years,
当你在情感上成熟了
When you're emotionally ready,
你会遇到你的真命天女
you'll meet the right girl,
和美满的性生活
and you will have tons of sex,
当然 是在婚后
after you're married.
好的 爸爸
Okay, dad.
对不起
Sorry.
做得好 谢了
Nice job. Thank you.
你说他到底已经花钱做过没
You think he bought it?
做过什么
Bought what?
你知道的
You know.
男人总是为性买♥♥单
Guys always pay for sex in some way--
例如 大餐 鲜花
I mean, dinner, flowers...
戒指
Antique rings.
你认为这是我们今晚做♥爱♥的唯一理由吗
You think that's the only reason we're having sex tonight?
当然不是 今天是我们结婚纪念日
Of course not. It's our anniversary.
这可是习俗 就像感恩节要吃火鸡一样
It's a given, like turkey on Thanksgiving.
尽管我希望
Although I am hoping
这枚戒指能够带给我一些突破
that the ring gets me an upgrade from missionary.
你还是别痴人说梦了 离我远点
Forget about upgrades. You just got bumped off the flight.
亲爱的 你到底怎么啦
Honey, wh-- why are you getting so upset?
我当初怎么没有意识到
Because I didn't know I was married
我嫁给了一个犬儒主义的傻瓜
to such a cynical lug nut.
等等 我们今晚不做♥爱♥了吗
Wait. Are we really not gonna have sex tonight?
别担心 汤姆
Don't worry, Tom.
将来 当你在情感上成熟了
In a few years, when you're emotionally ready,
你会拥有美满的性生活的
you're gonna have tons of sex.
别这样好吗
Come on!
你的确很喜欢这枚戒指吗
So you really like that ring?
是的
Yep.
你看了上面的题词没
Did you read the inscription?
送给我亲爱的
"to my darling--"
我们今晚不做♥爱♥ 汤姆
We're not having sex, Tom.
别这样 到底是为什么呀
Oh, come on. Why not?
因为我对你刚才说的话感到很失望
Because I am still upset by what you said.
你真的认为女人只有在男人为她们
Do you really think women only sleep with men
买♥♥东西的时候才愿意与他们上♥床♥吗
if they buy them things?
不 我觉得超级名模愿意同八十岁的
No. I think supermodels sleep with 80-year-old millionaires
百万富翁上♥床♥是因为她们想听
because they love to hear stories
那些他们创业初期的艰辛历程的故事
about when bread was 5 cents a loaf.
但我不是模特 你也不是百万富翁
Well, I'm not a model, and you're no millionaire,
所以 我觉得你欠我一个道歉
So I'm thinking you owe me an apology.
还记得我们最开始的两次约会
You and I went to Marley's tavern
都是在马利酒店
on our first two dates,
我连一个晚安的亲吻都得不到
and I could barely get past a good night kiss.
但是第三次约会 我在左岸咖啡厅倾囊而出
But third time out, I dropped 200 bucks at la rive gauche,
结果 你的激♥情♥就点燃了
And bam! you finally put out.
我们就做♥爱♥了
Finally made love.
听着 你这个蠢货
Listen, you idiot!
我并不是因为你请我吃昂贵的晚餐
I did not "put out" because you
激♥情♥就点燃了
bought me an exepensive dinner .
只是因为你约会时带来了一只灯泡
I did it because you showed up for the date with a lightbulb
一只换下我家那根走廊上烧坏了的灯泡
to replace the one that had burned out
记得吗
in the hallway to my apartment, remember?
你说我没有住在最好的社区里
Oh. you said I didn't live in the best neighborhood.
你说你很担心我
And I was worried about you.
答对了 我当时就动情了
Bingo. I was ready to do you right then and there.
真的
Really?
就是因为那件微不足道的小事
That's all it takes?
就是因为我向你表示关心
Me showing you I care?
真这么简单
'cause that's easy.
好了 现在是你收纪念日礼物的时候了
And now it's time for your anniversary present.
你好 罗宾
Hey, Robin.
记得之前
Remember the other day
我跟你说过这里是个和谐的社区
When I told you this was a nice neighborhood?
但我忘记告诉你
I forgot to warn you--
这附近住着个悍妇
there's this one bitch that lives right nearby,
那就是我
and that would be me.
我理解
Look, I understand.
一个舞♥女♥搬来总会给周遭带来些麻烦
An ex-stripper moving next door will freak some people out.
不 不是的 我是说真的
No. Seriously, I'm sorry.
我接受你的道歉
Apology accepted.
对了
Oh, and, uh, by the way...
什么
Oh. Yeah?
下次 你和你丈夫开灯做♥爱♥的时候
The next time you're giving it to your husband
能否把窗帘拉上
with the lights on, could you draw the drapes?
布里和舞♥女♥
来
Here we go.
我找到了签署人 明天就去见他
So I've got the signer, I'll meet him tomorrow
丹妮尔会在我走之前来照顾你
Can Danielle meet the errands for you before I go?
应该不错
Should be good.
乔伊会过来
Joy's be here at three from my rehab
我可以叫她陪我去公园
Roy offered to take me to the park.
这主意不错
Oh. well, isn't that lovely?
-想看电影吗 -我想读
- Do you wanna watch a movie? - well, I guess I'll read...
我们还是看电影吧
I guess we could watch a movie.
不 如果你想看书 就看吧
No. no, no. if you want to read, go ahead.
晚安
Good night.
如果你有什么需要 按铃就行
If you need anything, just ring the bell.
我就在楼上
I'm...right upstairs.
我没事的
I-I'm sure I'll be fine.
有人在吗
Knock, knock.
罗宾 快进来吧
Robin. Come on in.
-你能帮我个忙吗 -当然可以
- Can I ask you a favor? - Sure.
苏珊和麦克一直以来都对我很好
绝望的主妇
Desperate Housewives
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