实习医生格蕾

Grey's Anatomy S19E07

Part 4 April 2, 2023, 9:55 p.m.

如果当初有机会的话
If there had been a chance...
克里斯托弗也许可以活下来
that Christopher could have lived,
如果当初有任何希望的话
if there had been any hope,
如果当初有任何手术可以做而这意味着他可能会活下来
if there had been any surgery, and it meant that he might live...
我会把握机会
I would take the shot.
总之我认为你本该直接送她去手术室
Anyway, I think you should have taken her straight to the OR.
我们需要CT来确定手术
We needed the CT to see if we can operate.
我的直觉不会撒谎
My gut doesn't lie.
我本该争取一下
I should have fought for it.
我本该直接把她送到这里
I should've brought her straight here.
对一号♥
Yeah, number one.
该死的有人自恋
Damn, someone likes himself.
我的作品的确是一号♥
Nope. My sample was literally number one.
不过没错我想要赢
But, yes, I intend to win.
那表情是什么意思？行吗？
What's that face? Is that good?
可以如果你想早点回家
It is if you want to go home early.
我知道我不应该拿香蕉练习
I knew I shouldn't have practiced on bananas.
要是水果上写着婴儿血管？
What about fruit says baby veins to you?
都做得不错
This is all good work.
一号♥的缝合特别精确
Number one's sutures are particularly precise.
但是要考虑完美排列和张力
But with perfect alignment and tension,
赢家是三号♥
the winner is number three.
是我的
That's me.
我们今天得叫你红色
Guess we gotta call you Red today. Huh.
格雷斯隆纪念医院
手术刀
Scalpel.
我原以为你会赢
I thought you would win.
你的针法通常很好
Your stitches are typically excellent.
-我知道 -比安田的好
-I know. -Better than Yasuda's.
我在比赛中失败了因为我很怕婴儿
I tanked the contest because babies scared the crap out of me.
根本不想靠近那张台子
Didn't want to be anywhere near that table.
你为什么害怕婴儿？
Why are you scared of babies?
你得告诉我说吧
No, no, no. You gotta tell me. Come on.
好吧但你欠我一个人情
Okay, but you owe me one.
欠你什么？
Owe you what?
由我来决定
Whatever I decide.
可以
Fine.
我五岁的时候我爸把我带到后院
When I was five, my dad took me into the backyard
我妈刚在那里生下我弟
where my mom had just given birth to my brother
在一个儿童游泳池里
in a kiddie pool.
你去过产科实习
Now, you've done an OB rotation,
已经熟悉鲜血和胎盘什么的
you're acquainted with all the blood and placenta,
还有关于分娩的恐怖电影
and the literal horror movie that is human childbirth.
我肯定这一切都有它的美丽之处
And I'm sure it's all very beautiful in its own way.
但我只有五岁还没搞清楚自己所看到的一切
But I was five, and before I could fully process what I was seeing,
我爸就递给我一把剪刀
my dad handed me a pair of scissors
叫我剪断脐带
and told me to cut the umbilical cord.
-你才五岁？-对
-You were five? -Yeah.
怎么你认为这很可笑吗？
What, you think this is funny?
这是心理创伤
This is trauma.
他们嬉皮士式的生活方式给我造成创伤
This is crystal-loving, weed-smoking, latter-day-hippie-style trauma.
不好意思请保持安静我姨妈正在做一件了不起的事情
Sorry to shush you, but my aunt is making history right now,
我觉得大家都应该集中精力
and I think we should all be paying attention.
开始按压
Starting compression.
泰莎加油
Come on, Tessa.
泰莎加油！
Come on, Tessa. Fight!
梅莉迪丝让格里菲斯来吧
Mer. Meredith. Let Griffith take over.
格里菲斯停下吧
Griffith, it's time to stop.
天哪
God.
天哪不要
Oh, my God, no.
死亡时间 12:21
Time of death, 12:21.
格蕾主任我想做缝合我想向她表达敬意
Chief Grey, I'd like to close her up. I'd like to pay her that respect.
我能帮忙吗？
Can I help?
可以
Yeah.
真是太糟了！
That was so incredibly stupid.
本来不该这样的
That did not have to end that way.
我讨厌这一天
I hate this day.
我讨厌这一天的所有东西
I hate everything about this day.
我也是
Me, too.
保持冷静清洗双手
我是一名移植外科医生我等待
I'm a, I'm a transplant surgeon. I wait.
我通过训练学会等待我连接我输液
I'm trained to wait. I attach. I perfuse.
我等着取器官等着它不要被拒绝
I wait for the organ to take, for it not to be rejected.
等它泛红有血液流过
For it to pink up, for blood to flow,
因为这就是人的正常反应
because that's how humans respond.
他们不是有开关控制的机器
They're not machines with an on-off switch.
我是一个生活丰富的成年女性
And I'm a grown woman with a big life
事业有成还有三个孩子
and a big career and three kids.
这次搬家是为了我女儿
And this move is what my daughter needs.
如果你想在我的生活中我希望你在我的生活中
I want you in my life if you want to be in my life.
但如果我必须选择我会选择自己
But if I have to choose, I'm going to pick me.
我选择我的孩子我选择对我们最有利的东西
I pick my kids, and I pick what's best for us.
我不会求你爱我
And I am not going to beg you to love me.
格雷斯隆纪念医院
对不起我刚才太激动了
Sorry I was emotional earlier.
若感受不到失去的痛苦才令人遗憾
Be sorry when you stop feeling the losses.
这是我在这里做的最后一次手术
This was my last surgery here.
尽管我非常想要完美收官
Thought for sure I was going out on a high.
我知道这听起来有些肤浅
I know that sounds shallow.
整个事件让人心碎
Yeah. It's devastating on every level.
你姥姥还好吗？
How's your grandmother?
很糟糕
Awful. It's awful.
她现在只用我母亲的名字叫我
She exclusively calls me by my mother's name now,
我倒是无所谓
which I can handle.
我并不了解我母亲但我姐姐记得她
I didn't know my mother, but my sister, she remembers my mother.
她记得是我杀了她
She remembers that I killed her.
事情发生时她只有六岁
She was six when it happened and...
所以她从来没有原谅过我
so she's never forgiven me for it.
每次我姥姥用我母亲的名字叫我
And every time my grandmother calls me by my mother's name,
她就更加讨厌我
she hates me more.
我不知道为什么要告诉你这些格蕾主任
And I don't know why I'm telling you this, Chief Grey.
因为你知道我理解
Well, because you know I know.
我以后不在这里工作了所以你可以叫我梅莉迪丝
And I don't work here anymore, so you can call me Meredith.
我有泰莎的书梅莉迪丝
I have Tessa's book, Meredith.
-什么？-她写了最后一本书
-What? -She wrote her last book.
存在U盘上
She saved it on a thumb drive
她把它带到了医院
and she brought it here to the hospital,
就是说在她觉得疼之后
which means after she felt her pain,
她做的第一件事就是到电脑前保存她的书
the first thing she did is go to her computer and save her book.
她要我把它交给她在波士顿的出版商
She wanted me to give it to her publisher in Boston.
我知道你今天要去那里
And I know you're going there today.
她写了最后一个故事真是太好了
So glad that she got to write her last story.
格蕾主任？梅莉迪丝？
Chief Grey? Meredith?
对不起
Sorry.
我的导师曾告诉我你若感受不到失去的痛苦才要担心
My mentor once told me to worry when you stop feeling the losses.
我们进去吧
Let's go inside.
心脏完全自主泵血
The heart is completely pumping on its own.
成功了
It worked.
-到目前为止 -对
- So far. - So far it worked, yeah.
艾美莉雅谢谢你
Amelia, thank you.
超声心动图看起来不错
Echo looks great.
室间隔缺损已修复新动脉的流出量看起来不错
VSD is closed, outflow from the new arteries looks good.
看来我们救了那个婴儿的命
Sure feels like we saved that baby's life.
你在回味这个奇迹？
Are you taking in the miracle?
没错
That is exactly what I'm doing.
今天发生的事完全超出了我想象
That was beyond my wildest imagination of what my day would be.
我今天很倒霉
And not just this day, which was awful,
因为我的房♥车被拖走了我所有的东西都在里面
because my house-van got towed with my whole life in it.
这完全超出了我的想象
That was beyond my wildest imagination
无论是我生命中的哪一天
of what any day of my life could be.
你挽救那颗幼小心脏的方式
The way that you saved that tiny baby heart...
我永远不会忘记