迪恩 我需要全神贯注
I got to concentrate here, Dean.
"他能听见鲜血在她体内流淌"
"He could hear the blood rushing inside her,
"舌头似乎尝到了那绝妙的味道"
"almost taste it.
"他拼命地想控制自己"
"He tried desperately to control himself.
"罗梅罗知道他们相爱无果"
Romero knew their love was impossible."
罗梅罗 不是吧
Romero? Really?
迪恩 闭嘴
Dean. Shut up.
这还是全国畅销书
This is a national bestseller.
怎么可能
How is that possible?
试试"洛特纳"
Hey, try, um... "Lautner."
泰勒·洛特纳:在《暮光之城》中饰演狼人雅各布·布莱克
等等 他是狼人吧
Wait. He's a werewolf.
再说你怎么知道他的
How do you even know who that is?
搞笑呢啊 那娃无处不在
What, are you kidding me? That kid's everywhere.
简直就是噩梦
It's a freaking nightmare.
帕丁森的名字里有多少个"T"
Hey, how many t's are there in Pattin--
《暮光之城》男主角
正解 密♥码♥破解了
That's it. We're in.
好了
All right.
有什么发现
Well?
她的收件箱全是一个
Well, her in-box is full
自称是吸血鬼的家伙的来信
from some guy claiming to be a vampire.
-真正的吸血鬼 -这个...
- A real vampire? - Well, uh...
"我只能在晚上和你见面"
"I can only meet you at night.
" 我不太放心自己和你在一起 "
"I don't trust myself with you.
"我无法抵抗你鲜血的诱惑"
The call of your blood is too strong."
吸血鬼网钓猎物吗
Vampires phishing for victims?
也有可能是一个闲的蛋疼的人类
Probably just a human mouth-breather, right?
换句话说 这样捕猎多方便啊
On the other hand, talk about easy prey.
对于真正的吸血鬼来说
For actual vamps.
对 这些女孩
Yeah, I mean, these chicks
自己投怀送抱
are just throwing themselves at you.
你只需要...
All you got to do is...
写点蹩脚的诗 她们就上钩了
I don't know. Write bad poetry.
这人想和她
Well, this guy wanted to meet her
在一个叫"黑玫瑰"的地方见面
at a place called the Black Rose.
不嘞个是吧
Give me a break.
我只是照着读出来
I'm just reporting the news.
也可能就是个变♥态♥ 对吧
It's probably just your standard-issue perv, right?
住手
Stop!
放开我
Let me go!
献血光荣
你肯定是吸血鬼干的
Ok, so you're sure it's vampire.
-百分之百吗 -当然
- 100%? - Definitely.
典型吸血鬼行为
We got a pattern now --
受害人失踪 捐血车被洗劫一空
kids go missing, blood-bank van gets jumped.
这是第四个镇子了
This is the fourth town.
确凿的证据就是最近那个案子
Clincher is, this last hit --
司机被发现时 喉咙被撕裂了
driver was found, throat ripped out.
他们抓孩子 来吸血 对吧
Okay, they grab kids -- that's food, right?
但是 如果他们
But if they already got
已经有了新鲜的血液
a bunch of walking, talking juice bars,
干嘛还要抢劫捐血车
why bother with the blood mobile?
这就怪了
It doesn't add up.
找到他们的老巢 去找答案
Find the nest. Figure it out.
想要摇滚妞儿的话 这儿一大♥片♥
Well, you wanted emo chicks. I think we hit ground zero.
谢谢
Thank you.
她在沙滩上也穿成那样吗
Think she wears all that rubber at the beach?
我们上次在一起喝酒是什么时候了
When's the last time we had a beer together, anyway?
看那边
There.
你怎么看
What do you think?
他很努力在泡那女孩
He's hitting on her hard enough.
会是吸血鬼吗
Real?
我不知道 很难说
I don't know, it's hard to tell.
又多一组嫌疑人
And we got multiple choice.
这下可好 他们三个人 我们两个人
Great. Three of them, two of us.
好了 三人组变两人组
Okay, make that two of them.
有一个已经动身了
One's on the move.
好吧 你跟那个80后 我跟那个90后
All right, you go with Efron. I got Bieber.
Efron:演员 23岁 Bieber:加拿大少年歌♥手 16岁[捂脸
亲爱的 你确定吗
Are you sure, baby?
你准备好加入我的永恒国度了吗
Are you ready to join me in eternity?
求之不得
Oh, my god, totally.
走 离开这里
Go! Get out of here!
-你干什么啊 -张开嘴巴
- What the hell are you doing?! - Open your mouth!
把那东西拿出来
Take those out.
拿出来
Take 'em out!
真恶心 都多大了还玩这套
For the love of... What are you, 12?
你是还擦闪粉了是吗
Are you wearing glitter?
我不过是想把个妹玩玩
I only do it to get laid, man!
那玩意儿有用吗
Does it work?
我嘞个去
I'll be damned.
好啦 回去打你的炮吧
All right, "Mmmbop" your way out of here.
走啊 快点
Go! Go.
记得带套
And use a condom.
真是个尤物啊
You're pretty.
你刚说啥
I'm sorry?
我说你
I said...
真是个尤物
"You're pretty."
哦 真是抱歉
Yeah. Sorry again, pal.
哥是直男
I don't play for your team.
住手
No!
小萨姆
Sammy.
我的亲娘 什么鬼声音啊
Oh, my god, what is that sound?
哪有什么声音 迪恩
What sound, Dean?
怎么回事
What?
搞毛啊 小声点 擦的了
Hey, come on! Keep it down, damn it!
拜托把灯关掉
Please, please shut that off.
上帝啊
Oh, geez.
迪恩 你快坐下
Dean, you should sit down.
你管我
You sit down.
我设想过千万种死法
Out of all the ways to die,
唯独没料到会落入这般田地
I never thought I'd be going out like this.
迪恩 你会没事的
Dean, nobody is going out.
怎么了
What?
萨穆埃尔一来 我就必死无疑了
Samuel's gonna kill me when he gets here.
不 迪恩 他不会的
No, Dean, he's not.
他会的 因为我会要他杀了我
Yes, he is, 'cause I'm gonna ask him to
我知道你下不了手
because you won't do it.
别这样 先等等
Okay, just hold on a second.
等什么 看我现在人模鬼样的
For what, huh?! Look at me!
-我们会想出办法的 -什么办法
- We can figure this out! - How?!
你怎么一点都不怕
Why aren't you freaked out?
-我吓坏了 -真的吗
- Of course I am! - Really?
你的心跳我可是听得一清二楚
'Cause I can hear your heartbeat,
稳得令人发指
and it's pretty damn steady.
那是因为我 我在努力使自己保持冷静
That's 'cause I'm -- I'm trying to remain calm.
迪恩 听着 萨穆埃尔知道该怎么做
Dean, look, Samuel will know what to do.
别做梦了 我现在就是个怪物
Come on, man. I'm a monster, okay?
情况远没你想得那么轻巧
This is not a problem that you spitball.
我们得在我伤害别人之前做个了结
We got to deal with this before I hurt somebody.
你什么感觉
How's it feel?
现在吗
Now?
这个时候你跟我谈感觉
Now you want to talk about my feelings?
我是说生理上的
I-I mean physically.
能有什么感觉 糟透了
How do you think it feels? Not good!
你去哪儿
Where you going?
厕所 行不
Bathroom, okay?
简讯简讯 大♥法♥师 吸血鬼想嘘嘘了
News flash, Mr. Wizard -- vampires pee.
迪恩
Dean?
迪恩
Dean.
是我
Hey.
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