我花钱雇你躺着别动
I'll pay you money if you sit still.
这根本就是拆除便便炸♥弹♥
This is like defusing an I.E.D. With poop.
好了 行啦 换完啦
Okay. All right, all right.
好啦 你是宝贝鲍比·约翰
All right. You are golden, Bobby John.
该睡觉觉咯
Time to hit the hay.
迪恩 你那样还得把他招哭
Dean, you're just gonna make it cranky again.
别说话 管用了
Shh! It's working.
好咯 我要把你放下去
Okay, if I put you down,
你要像个男子汉一样哦
you gonna be a man about it?
咋了
What?
你刚真是
Y-you're just, uh,
说实话...真是不赖啊
actually... Not awful at that.
哥们 在我手里他还能活着是他命大
Dude, I'm barely keeping that thing alive.
不 不是 说真的
No, no, no, seriously.
简直就是超级奶爸俯身啊
You got a whole Dr. Huxtable vibe coming off of you.
你可真是...当爹的料
You're like... Father material.
是啊 最近确实当爹了
Yeah, well, I kind of had to be lately, you know?
硬着头皮上呗 你说对吧
Sink or swim, right?
你是说本
You mean Ben.
是啊 我是说本
Yeah, I mean Ben.
我是说 我知道他不是我亲生的
I mean, I know he's not my kid,
但 我也不清楚 我好像开始
But -- I don't know, I'm starting to feel like...
把他当亲生的了
Yeah, he is.
每次想到咱们是怎么长大的
When I think about the way we grew up...
我觉得我有机会
I don't know. I kind of feel like I have a chance
能让本的好过一点 你明白吗
to do something different with Ben, you know?
你确定吗
You sure about that?
你什么意思
What do you mean?
你看...
Look...
你显然在意那孩子
You clearly care about the kid.
但是呢
But?
但是 让他们四处漂泊 闭门不出
But...Moving them around, keeping them on lockdown...
你确实让他们闭门不出 对吧
I mean, you do have them on lockdown, right?
这和你我成长的环境有什么区别
How is any of that different from how we were raised?
所以你的意思是...
So you're saying...
我不想让任何人卷入这种生活
I'm not shoving anybody into this life, okay?
这是一时的
This is temporary.
还记得老爸总说那是一时的吗
Dad always said it was temporary, Dean.
"一时"持续了22年
He said it for 22 years.
我懂你的初衷
Look, I get it.
你想要保护他们 这再好不过
You want to watch out for them. That's great.
我只是想问你...
I'm just asking --
你要怎么做 才不会像爸爸那样
How do you do that and not turn into dad?
糟糕 我怎么会漏掉这个
Crap. I can't believe I missed this.
怎么了
What?
榆树街上的房♥子
This house on Elm --
母亲被杀 婴儿被抢
the -- the mother was killed, baby was grabbed,
但那时父亲不在房♥子里 所以他还活着
but daddy wasn't living in the house at the time, so he's still alive.
我们去找他谈谈如何
What do you say we go and have a chat?
走吧
I say let's.
你去吧
You go.
你确定吗
You sure?
除非你能给鲍比·约翰找个警徽
Unless you got a badge for Bobby John,
不然是的 我肯定
yeah, I'm sure.
味道不错 是吧
It's good, isn't it?
我
I just...
我还是不敢相信
I still can't believe it.
我是说 要是死了也就算了
I mean, i-it's one thing to die like...that.
可怜的婴儿
Poor baby.
消失得无影无踪
Just into thin air.
你们还真是没用啊
No thanks to you guys.
这也是我来这里的原因
Well, that's why I'm here.
你们诉请离婚了是吗
You had filed for divorce?
不好意思 这很重要
It's important. I'm sorry.
她
She, uh...
她在外面偷♥情♥
she cheated on me.
被我抓到了
And, well, I caught her.
那你知道对方是谁吗
And did you know the other man?
不知道 我没有抓到现行
No, I-I mean, I didn't catch her catch her,
但她骗了我
but...she lied to me.
好的
Okay.
我们很久没有做...
We hadn't...
...你知道的
...you know, in a while,
然后 她突然就怀孕了
and -- and then -- then she's pregnant.
-她怎么说 -她说孩子是我的
- What did she say? - She said it was mine.
我知道
I know.
我说 "这不可能"
And -- and I said, "That's impossible,"
我不相信她说的
and "What is she talking about?"
她说"难道你不记得你出城那次
And she says, "Don't you remember when you went out of town
提早回来了 然后我们就..."
and you came back early and we..."
但你没有
But you didn't?
是的
No.
我在参加垒球锦标赛
I was at a damn softball tournament.
无论那是谁 他才是孩子的父亲
Whoever he was, he's the father.
什么事
Yeah?
我和父亲谈过了
I talked to the father.
他没问题 但是那婴儿
He checks out. But the baby...
怎么了
Yeah?
我想它父亲是变形怪
I think the shapeshifter is its dad.
是嘛
You think?
我是管♥理♥员♥ 里面没事吧
Manager. Everything okay in there?
没事 我们 我们很好
Yeah. No, we're -- we're -- we're fine,
谢谢 晚安
thank you. Good night.
我接到一些投诉 能开下门吗 先生
There's been complaints. You mind opening the door, sir?
现在不方便
Uh, it's not a good time.
我们刚洗完澡
Just -- just got out of the shower.
-别挡道 -我不会让你得逞的
- Get out of the way. - Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
婴儿应该和他父亲在一起
A child should be with his father.
实话说
Well, I got to be honest --
我觉得你们俩没丁点相象
I'm not really seeing the family resemblance.
没说我是他父亲
I'm not just talking about me.
我说的是我们的父亲
I'm talking about our father.
押金拿不回来了
Well, there goes our deposit.
知道吗 这招还真妙
You know, it's pretty smart, actually.
变形怪假扮成在保安公♥司♥工作的警卫
I mean, shifter poses as a guard for the security company
以便接近那房♥子
to get near the house.
然后研究这个家庭
Then it scopes out the fam.
没错 爸爸出门 变形怪就来冒充他
Yeah. Then daddy takes off, and the shifter becomes daddy.
喝几杯酒 跟妈妈嘿♥咻♥一下
Few glasses of wine, shakes mama's trees,
九个月后回来带走它的成果
comes back in nine months to collect its prize.
我都不知道它们还能生娃娃
I didn't even know they had babies.
我以为它们只不过是自然界里的怪物
I thought they were just freaks of nature,
跟X战警一样
like -- like X-men style.
是啊 所谓活到老学到老是吧
Yeah, you learn something new every day, huh?
我还没见过婴儿怪物呢
I've never seen a baby monster before.
是啊
Yeah.
话说回来 它还不是怪物
Of course, it's not really a monster.
还只是个婴儿
I mean, it's still just a baby.
这不是它的错 谁让它爹是变形怪呢
It's not its fault its dad's a shifter.
是没错 但它也是个变形怪
Right. But it's a shifter, too.
这也改变不了我们要
It still doesn't change the fact that we've got to --
我们要照顾它的事实
we've got to look after this thing.
但我们要拿它怎么办
But what the hell are we gonna do with it?
我们又不能把它扔给孤儿院
We can't actually drop it off at an orphanage.
要是它变成亚洲人会引起恐慌
They might get upset when it turns asian.
找萨穆埃尔
Samuel.
什么
What?
找萨穆埃尔
Samuel.
他知道该怎么做
He'll know what to do.
你要把它带给一群猎魔人
You want to bring it to a bunch of hunters?
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