我是僵尸

iZombie S02E12

Part 3 May 1, 2020, 2:45 p.m.

标签西雅图的线人真赞
Hashtag "Real CIs of Seattle,"
标签我在开U型潜水艇
Hashtag "Riding the u-boat."
小耳朵莎莉[洋娃娃]要吓坏我了
Sally tiny tears is freaking me out, man.
我不能让别人以为我和条子走得很近
I can't have people thinking I'm tight with cops.
那你得足够配合她才不会发出去
Then make it worth her while not to post that.
她应该就是人们口中的"时尚首创者"
I believe she is what they call "A taste maker".
说我具有网络影响力更准确
More of an online influencer.
好吧没错的确有个新来的
Okay, yeah, there's a new player.
一个卖♥♥新产品的神秘人
A mystery man with a new product.
产品名字叫"幸运儿"
Lucky U.
是市面上最牛的优托品
It's the sickest Utopium out there.
非常纯超级嗨
Totally uncut, insane high.
而且很便宜
and cheap.
吸了后转的圈儿
The bunk I'm slinging's
比海伦·凯勒走过的玉米迷宫还要多
got more steps than Helen Keller in a corn maze.
什么时候能再见到你德雷克
继续说这个神秘人
Tell me more about this mystery man.
"神秘"人就是很神秘嘛
It's like you don't know what the word "Mystery" means.
大家好我是丽芙
Hey, guys, Liv here.
今天我非常激动能录制这个拆箱视频
So, today I am beyond excited to do an unboxing video
箱子里都是最新的验尸神器
of our latest haul from morgue tech.
有很多有趣的器具像装大脑的盘子
Lots of fun stuff in here, brain pans,
环绕尸体的盖布
wrap-around cadaver covers.
这些都很酷
These are awesome
因为它们装在超可爱的文件袋里
because they come with a super-cute document pouch.
你拆个箱子都有一百五十三个人在看
A hundred and fifty-three people watched you unpack a box?
怎么回事凭什么
How? Why?
拜托不要又在看你的视频博客
Please tell me you're not watching your own vlog.
你开西雅图警局的数据库干什么
What are you doing on Seattle PD database?
我要查德雷克的背景资料
Looking for background info on Drake.
我觉得他在隐瞒些什么
I feel like he might be hiding something.
什么人会既不用推特又不用脸书
What kind of person doesn't use Twitter or Facebook?
疯子呗
Only a lunatic.
不然他要怎么到处传扬正能量话语
How else would he disseminate inspirational quotes
教人咖啡拉花呢
and latte art?
重罪故意伤害罪
算了我懂了
Never mind. Figured it out.
这是一个
It's the kind of person
因为犯了故意伤害的重罪
sentenced to 22 months in Monroe Correctional
被判到门罗监狱服刑二十二个月的人
for felony aggravated assault.
"受害人眼眶壁骨折"
"Victim suffered an ocular fracture,
"肋骨骨折股骨粉碎"
broken ribs, shattered femur."
全部照片最新照片
我的天呐
Oh, my god.
德雷克来电
是他打来的我该怎么办
It's him. What do I do?
他可是一个有情绪问题又服过刑的僵尸
Well, he's a zombie with anger issues and a prison record.
既然你还要用新新时代网络语
As far as millennial breakup options go,
我同意"弄死他"
ghosting him gets my vote.
这是明智之举
It's the smart move.
但是我喜欢他拉维
But I like him, Ravi.
你该吃点东西
You should eat.
再睡一觉
And sleep.
你看这个
Look at this.
企业猪为你的罪行付出代价我们死于贫穷
这是在麦克多诺大楼的犯罪现场找到的
That is from the crime scene at the Mcdonough Estate,
混沌杀手案最新的受害者
one of the chaos killer's most recent victims.
仔细看这些涂鸦
Pay attention to the graffiti.
然后你再看这个
Now, look at this.
体制被富人操控混沌主宰一切
这是在巴拉克斯家里的
It's from the Baracus home.
涂鸦笔迹不同
The graffiti is different.
这个罪案现场还有很多不同之处
A lot about this crime scene is different.
还包括
Including the fact
巴拉克斯不符合混沌杀手惯常瞄上的
that Baracus doesn't fit the chaos killer's usual
"精英标准"
"One-percenter demo."
我觉得这不是同一个人作的案
I don't think it's the same perp.
也有道理
Which makes sense
因为布莱恩已经在我们监视之下
because we've had our friend Blaine under surveillance,
-所以这不是他干的 -巴比诺警探
- so it wasn't him. - Detective Babineaux?
关于三人断头案你有什么发现
What you got on the triple decapitation?
大众有权知情都是那些套话
People have a right to know, et cetera, et cetera.
-无可奉告 -你要急死我
- No comment. - You're killing me.
有三个人身首异处
A triple beheading,
《下午要闻》还不把我放到显眼的位置
and the afternoon edition still puts me below the fold?
无头尸体被冲上华盛顿湖岸
一个人要怎么样才能上头条
What's a guy gotta do to get a lead story?
或许给杀手起个耳熟能详的名字能行
Giving the killer a catchy nickname probably helps.
混沌杀手再度来袭
"沃恩·白♥痴♥·拉克"
"Vaughn Douche Clark."
这名字真有创意
So original.
他来了
Here he comes.
梅杰进来吧
Major. Come on in.
您找我
I was summoned.
是的来看看这个
Okay, here we go. Watch this.
"麦克斯雷杰喝着像在臭河游过一圈的"
"Max Rager tastes like the ass of a turtle
"龟屁♥股♥一样恶心"
"swimming in a dirty river."
我不知道他为什么要给自己惹事
I don't know why he does this to himself.
谢谢你来自斯威士兰的网友Sambulo21
Thank you, Sambulo21, from Swaziland.
斯威士兰非洲东南部国家
老天我真是超爱这家伙的
Boy, I just love this guy's comprehensive knowledge
这么了解龟屁♥股♥的味道
of how turtle ass tastes.
谢谢你顺路过来一趟梅杰
Thanks for dropping by, Major.
你认识我们的安保顾问詹克吗
You know our security consultant, Janko?
还没有幸认识
Haven't had the pleasure.
在伊♥拉♥克♥待了六年
Six years in Iraq.
谢谢你为国服务
Oh. Thanks for your service.
其实他是私人军♥火♥承包商
Well, he's a private military contractor.
他负责打打杀杀
He was in charge of ass-kicking and name-taking,
而且不太喜欢我夸他
and really doesn't like it when I brag about him,
但是他真的是个好人
but he's such a good egg.
不像这些不怀好意的人
Unlike these haters here.
麦克斯雷杰在推特上的粉丝超过三百万
Max Rager has over three million Twitter followers.
为什么要在意这些蝼蚁
Why obsess over the trolls?
挑衅的人一个都不能放过亲爱的丽塔
No troll left behind, Rita, my dear.
一个都不能漏
Nobody should slip through the cracks.
对不对梅杰
Isn't that right, Major?
对吧
Yeah, I guess.
那么为什么一个你说不是僵尸的人
So, why is it a man you told me is not a zombie
会被混沌杀手干掉了呢
gets taken out by the Chaos Killer?
我们很怎么说来着
We're... what's the word?
担忧
Concerned.
好吧你还真能和盘托出无所谓了
Okay, I mean, you're really underselling it, but whatevs.
所以我要问你
So, the question is,
这一切到底是怎么回事梅杰
what the hell is going on here, Major?
纯善意谎言
我和你们一样困惑
I'm as confused as anyone.
就好像是有人想让巴拉克斯消失
I mean, it looks like someone else wanted Baracus gone,
于是就模仿我的做事方式
and they stole my mo to do it.
但是我检查过巴拉克斯了他不是僵尸
But I checked Baracus, he wasn't a zombie.
有意思
Interesting.
他的信用报告可不是这么说的
Because his credit report tells us otherwise.
在香料世家花了700块
$700 at Spice Mountain,
印度鬼椒辣椒酱
ghost pepper hot sauce from India,
每周都给皮肤喷雾染发
weekly spray tans and salon dye jobs.
皮肤色素喷雾剂用于皮肤的着色
难道你不觉得很可疑吗
Suspicious, don't you think?
对我来说好像有点像僵尸
Sounds pretty undead to me.
或者就像是个都市美食家
Or just as likely metrosexual foodie.
如果你不告诉我真♥相♥ 我会很不开心的
I'm going to be so upset if you're not telling me the truth.
我可不会轻易生气梅杰
And I don't get mad, Major.
你是要报复吗
You get even?
不不不那还有什么意思
Oh, god, no. No, no, no. Where's the fun there? No.
我是要以牙还牙
I get even with interest.
我信奉芝加哥的行事方式
I embrace the Chicago way.
别人出刀我掏枪