我是僵尸

iZombie S02E02

Part 2 May 1, 2020, 2:42 p.m.

兄弟就是因此他才不用给脱衣女郎付钱
Bro, that's why he didn't have to pay the strippers.
钱都拿去做难语症研究了
It all went to, like, dyslexia research.
他整的最厉害的是胖子
The best was Chunk.
胖子
Chunk!
查德在胖子睡觉的时候给他地板上涂了黄油
Chad buttered this fat guy's floor while he was asleep.
这家伙早上起来
So dude gets up in the morning,
全♥裸♥滑到
all naked, and he's slipping around like
好像冰面上的海象一样
a freaking walrus on ice. -
视频放在优酷上了你们必须得看看
It's on YouTube. You guys gotta see it.
-那得看 -查德就是这种人
- Oh, yeah. - See, that's just the kind of guy Chad was, you know.
你喝多断片了醒来眉毛就没了
You pass out drunk, shave the eyebrows.
或者是被人揪着蛋蛋照了照片
Maybe snap a ball-drag pic.
听上去他好像让很多人不爽
Sounds like he might have made some people upset.
或许是恶作剧受害人下的手
Maybe the victims of these pranks?
一小部分人吧对别人来说还是很搞笑的
I guess like a little. To everyone else it was just super funny.
查德也不总是恶作剧
Look, Chad wasn't just pranks and stuff.
他总是为兄弟两肋插刀
Like, he was always there for his brothers.
你第四次抽水烟的时候你不会吐
When you're doing your fourth funnel, and you're not gonna puke,
但你还是可能会放弃
but you might still give up,
他就会在边上加油
he was the guy yelling.
-准备好了吗 -来吧
- Ready, bro? - Let's do this, bro!
一二三
One, two, three.
你毁了我的人生你毁了我的人生
You ruined my life, man! You ruined my life.
我失去了好兄弟
I lost my champion, bro.
我的好兄弟
I lost my champion.
你为什么说查德毁了你
Hey, you. How did Chad ruin your life?
我去
Damn!
倒霉的裸奔
那是考验周查德让我裸奔了
It was pluge week. Chad made me streak.
我一开始还不知道自己在一所小学里
I didn't know I was streaking by an elementary school
裸奔了直到小孩们开始笑我
till I heard the kids start laughing.
我不仅被捕了
Not only was I arrested,
我被当作性犯罪者记录在案
I had to register as a sex offender.
那你为什么还在兄弟会里
So why stay with the fraternity?
查德说服了我我的职业前景现在非常有限
Chad convinced me to. My career prospects are limited now.
查德向我保证兄弟会会帮成员解决职业问题
Chad assured me that the Zeta Beta Thetas take care of their own.
只要我还在会里未来就不成问题
As long as I'm a brother, I have a future.
谋杀发生的时候你在哪里
Where were you at the time of the murder?
我在里面的房♥间
I was in the back room,
和一个姑娘聊天她打扮成性感的独角兽
talking to some girl in a sexy unicorn costume.
我们听到尖叫声才跑进场
We heard screams and ran inside.
把那姑娘的名字告诉我
I'll need the girl's name.
就是普通女孩啊
She was just a random chick.
等等我在图片分享网上面看到聚会照片了
Wait. I saw a photo on the party's Instagram feed.
这些都是聚会的照片吗
Are these all from the party?
是啊我就在帘子里
Yeah, look that is me in the curtain.
我怎么知道里面是不是你
How am I supposed to know that's you?
就算是只翼龙也没人看得到啊
A pterodactyl could be inside there and no one would know.
但里面真的是我啊我还留着服装呢
But it's me. Look, I have the costume.
所以目前我只能确定
All that tells me is
你有这套服装照片里
you have the costume that an unidentified person
-不确定是谁穿着它 -是我啊
- was wearing in this photo. - But it's me.
布罗迪可以作证
Okay, Brody will tell you.
这些照片肯定是站在楼梯上面拍的
You know, these must've been taken from the top of the staircase.
这是查德对吧
All right, there's Chad, right?
这里也有这里还在
Still there, still there,still there,
不见了好让我们倒回去看
gone. Right? Let's go back.
看到这个蓝色的毛绒玩偶了吗
See this furry blue thing?
他过来的时候还可以看到查德
You can see Chad as Furry Blue is heading over,
但这张照片里他走了查德也倒下了
but look at this one of Furry Blue walking away. Chad's down.
蓝色毛绒玩偶很可能就是刺杀他的人
Furry Blue is probably who stabbed him.
好了...
Okay...
他不记得我那晚穿的是什么但是...
He doesn't remember what I was wearing, but...
谁穿了蓝色毛绒玩偶服装
Who wore the Furry Blue costume?
我不知道那是谁
Yeah, I don't know who the blue guy is,
但梅根·雷利的咪♥咪♥真大啊
but how huge are Megan Reilly's cans?
那可不是梅根·雷利她的更垂一点儿
Oh, that's not Megan Reilly, bro. Her cans are more teardrop.
好吧
Okay!
谢谢你们的配合
Thank you for your time.
如果我想起来了什么
So, if I remember anything,
我可以打你电♥话♥吗还是...
should I call you, or...
你可以打电♥话♥找我
You can call me.
我才是负责这案子的警♥察♥
I'm the detective on the case.
你就像《阿甘正传》里说的巧克力盒
You're like that box of chocolates from Forrest Gump,
根本不知道打开会看到什么
I never know what I'm gonna get.
当然是巧克力啊老兄
You're getting chocolate, bro.
我去打电♥话♥给当地的服装商店
I'll start calling the local costume shops.
看看哪些存有蓝色的毛绒服装
See if I can find the ones that stock that blue furry costume.
看看是谁租过
Find out who rented it.
查医生你在哪儿呢
Chakrabarti! Where you at?
我在想啊
I have been doing some thinking,
我们这里就少个桌上足球
and I'm pretty sure what this morgue needs is a foosball table.
我知道你受那些脑子影响的时候
I know you can't fully control your actions
无法完全控制自己的行为
when you're on a brain,
但你真的要控制一下这位哥们
but I really need you to try and rein in the bro.
如果有人进来看到
We would be in serious trouble
你是怎么摆那些医疗骨骼的
if someone came in and saw how you arranged
我们就有大♥麻♥烦了
the medical skeletons.
还有这个这真是让人无法忍♥
And this, this is unacceptable.
万一有人来认领尸体
What if someone came in to identify their loved one
看到法医额头上写着"放屁"怎么办
and the medical examiner had "fart" written on his forehead?
这不好笑
It isn't funny.
-很好笑 -不好笑
- It's pretty funny. - It really isn't.
-挺好笑啊 -我真的认为不好笑
- It kinda is. - I can assure you it isn't funny.
这不好笑
It isn't funny.
你没被开除算你走运
You're lucky you're receiving a suspension and not an expulsion.
好吧但这还是挺好笑的啊
Okay. But it's kind of funny.
不这不好笑
No. No, it's not. It's not funny.
你是在反省还是看到了影像
Were you contemplating your actions or having a vision?
如果你非要猜...
If you had to guess...
我收回我对兄弟会成员的所有坏评价
I take back every bad thing I ever said about frat boys.
这脑子简直好玩死了
These brains are fun as hell.
我无法冷静任何事都很好玩
I can't stop chillaxing. Everything is hilarious.
杀了查德的那家伙简直是混♥蛋♥ 我要...
Dude, the guy who killed Chad is a total dick, and I demand...
我是巴比诺
Babineaux.
老哥哎我看到了点儿东西
Wazzup? Just had a vis.
像是个纪律警告会什么的
Yeah, it was, like, a discipline hearing-type thing.
这孩子看起来想谋杀查德老兄
This kid looked like he wanted to murder Chad, bro.
我们要找到那个学生
We've gotta find this other student.
马上
Pronto.
脑子放屁更蠢啦
Brain fart. Whole new level.
我发现那只蓝毛熊是瑞典儿童剧里的
So I finally found out the blue bear is a character
一个角色叫做沃瑟斯队长
from a Swedish kids' show named Captain Wozzles.
看起来是挺像北欧的
He did look Nordic.
我打电♥话♥问了西雅图的所有服装商店
I called every costume shop here in Seattle.
目前还没发现哪家有
So far, no one carries it.
我会继续查周边的商店
I'll move on to shops in the surrounding area.
但首先我问了
But first, I spoke to the
西太平洋大学的教务你所看见的那件事
dean of Pacific West University about your vision.
没搜捕令的条件下他拒绝提供
He wouldn't give me details about the grievance filed
针对查德的指控的相关细节
against Chad without a warrant,
但我可以去问问那个学生
but said I was welcome to see
看看他愿不愿意开口
if the student was open to discussing it.
他正在来的路上你肯定猜不到他的名字
He's on his way in now. And you'll never guess what his name is.
查德·沃考夫
Chad Wolcoff.
和受害人同名
Like the murder victim.
你能说说你为什么去告查德吗
Can you tell us why you filed a grievance against Chad?
查德和我在学校经常收到别人发给对方的邮件
Chad and I often got each other's mail back at school.
我接到邀请去一所高中演讲
I got invited to speak at a high school
主题是关于醉驾的危险性
about the dangers of drunk driving.
查德误收了我的邀请函