我是僵尸

iZombie S02E01

Part 3 May 1, 2020, 2:42 p.m.

不错的笑话
Good one.
你的T恤衫真傻
Your T-shirt's stupid.
这句话没有讽刺的意思
That's meant to be literal.
什么鸡蛋有人威胁别人之类的
Something about eggs and somebody threatening somebody?
听着我想尽自己的公民义务
Listen, I wanted to do my civic duty,
但我不想被牵涉其中
but I don't wanna get involved.
为什么
Why?
这个这个孩子
This... This kid,
他算是这一带为非作歹的捣蛋鬼
he's, like, the terror of the neighborhood.
哪个孩子
What kid?
罗德尼·里克斯
Rodney Ricks.
他住在几个街区外是个不折不扣的狂徒
Okay, he's from a couple blocks over. He's a real thug.
他只是个青少年又不是一头熊
He's a teenager. Not a bear.
有点种大声说出来孩子
Pretend you got a pair and speak up, son.
有一天晚上我听到外面有些骚乱
The other night, I hear some commotion,
我向外看去在街对面
and I look out across the street,
罗德尼和他的小伙伴们正朝温德尔家扔鸡蛋
and Rodney and a few of his homies are egging Wendell's house.
温德尔冲出家门把他揍了一顿
And Wendell comes charging out and he tases him.
罗德尼像一块石头一样倒在地上
Rodney drops like a rock,
温德尔就开始拼了老命踹他
and Wendell just starts kicking the hell out of him.
最终罗德尼从地上爬起来他叫嚣着
And finally, when Rodney gets up, he's shouting,
我要弄死你老家伙
I'm gonna bleep you up, old man.
听到这些的时候你在哪里
Where were you standing when you heard all this?
你在这里就可以听到他们所有的对话吗
You could make out what they were saying all the way from here?
没错所有叫骂声我把窗户打开了
All the shouted bits, yeah. I had the window open.
你这些画是批发的
You do all these paint by numbers,
还是你有一个行动缓慢的侄子之类的亲戚
or you have a slow nephew or something?
不我在一个画廊找到的它们
No, I found them at a gallery.
它们被扔在垃圾堆里吗
Were they in the garbage?
抱歉
Sorry.
我本该早点回来
I would've been back sooner,
但是我们被堵困在一个亚洲司机后面了
but we got stuck behind an Asian driver.
亚奇·邦克[偏执狂]
Hey, Archie Bunker,
-我就是亚裔 -太好了
- I'm of Asian descent. - Great.
快跟你的同胞解释方向信♥号♥♥灯是怎么看的
Explain to your people how turn signals work.
你可以为六号♥抽屉内的遗体做好转移准备吗
Mind prepping drawer six for transfer?
遗体要运至暗影馆新的殡仪馆吗
Body going to Shady Plots. New funeral home?
换主人了
Uh, change of ownership.
上面说新主人是约翰·杜加斯
Says here the new owner is John Deaux.
杜加斯
That's D-E-A-U-X.
这是个别名来自某个
It's a known alias for
我最讨厌的已治愈的僵尸
my least favorite of our cured zombies.
人性啊
Oh, the humanity.
你看上什么钟意的东西了吗
You see anything you like?
很少有死者来亲自选择的情况
It's so rare the dead get to choose.
我有一口盖子可以分离的棺材
I got one with a breakaway lid
可以为那些
that's a real time-saver
僵尸模样的人上演
for today's zombie looking to make
手从土里伸出来的经典桥段节省了大量的时间
that classic hand-shooting-up- through-the-dirt big entrance.
我不妨挑明了说吧
I don't mind admitting
这项投资的灵感来源其实是你
you were an inspiration behind this venture.
等着大脑自己上门
Letting the brains come to you.
幸运的是我之前的那份产业
Fortunately my previous enterprise
为我提供了足够的启动资金
provided me enough startup capital
我需要扩大经营种类
I needed to diversify.
西雅图的僵尸遵从上帝的意愿
And Seattle's zombie population feeds off
吃掉已经死去的人们
already-deceased people, as God intended.
我是多么的渺小
How low must the bar be for me
带着十足的敬意告诉你
to be able to say, with some sincerity,
我为你感到骄傲
that I am proud of you?
-来点巧克力吗 -下次再说吧
- Chocolate? - Rain check.
差点忘了
Oh, forgot.
味蕾已离你远去
Taste buds as kaputski as the rest of you.
你在吃巧克力还是在浸渍它
Are you eating that or impregnating it?
我很好奇
I'm curious.
为什么
Why?
你为什么还要为僵尸家族争光
Why are you still suiting up for Team Z?
当正派真不爽
The uniform sucks.
道德感什么的老实说特别烂
Morale is, let's be honest, consistently low.
别告诉我你真的对那种脑子有特殊的癖好
Don't tell me you've actually developed a taste for brains.
等一等是你自找的
Hold the phone! You dig it.
你就喜欢成为英雄不是吗
You get off on being the hero, don't you?
你你们快看看
Oh, would you... Would you look at that.
就...就是那个侦破凶杀案的僵尸
That's a... That's a crime-solving zombie.
罗杰快进来她是个为种族争光的人
Roger, get in here! She's a... She's a credit to her species.
为何不能人人都像她一样呢
Why can't they all be like her?
这不是我选的
This isn't by choice.
所以你把所有的解药都给了我
So you gave all the cure to me,
而你们却不能再制♥造♥一些出来吗
and you can't make more?
这对你来说肯定如鲠在喉
That must stick in your craw.
你仔细看过这个地方吗
Did you get a look at the place?
你看过吗
Did you?
来吧
Come on.
快来看看
Check it out.
在这边的小教堂里可供悼念和提供服务
Viewing and services in the chapel there,
这里提供茶点
refreshments served here.
地下室进行防腐和大脑采集
Embalming and brain-harvesting in the basement.
真是全方位一条龙服务你觉得呢
It's got great flow, don't you think?
我一直想问你一个问题
I've been meaning to ask you.
自我们上次邂逅之后
After our last encounter,
你可能还记得就是那个你给我开枪打我那晚
you might recall it as the night you shot me,
我当时正在看
I was watching the coverage
肉食坊枪战的相关报道
of the gunfight at the Meat Cute corral,
你猜我没看到什么
and guess what I didn't see?
你男朋友的名字在死者名单上
Your boyfriend's name among the deceased.
我不是法医但我离开的时候
Now, I'm no medical examiner, but when I left,
我愿意赌上买♥♥甜甜圈的钱
I would've have put dollars
这位王牌骑警彻底消失了
to doughnuts that Dudley Do-Right was a goner.
这只能意味着一件事
Which could only mean one thing.
就在某个地方
Somewhere out there,
梅杰·利里怀特最先发觉有僵尸存在的人
Major Lilywhite, the most presciently named zombie of all time,
-依然在这世上游荡 -他的情况有所不同
- roams the Earth. - Whitey Shamblemoore begs to differ.
那么下次你见到情郎的时候
Well, next time you see your beau,
提醒他他还欠我一百万美元
remind him he owes me a million dollars
还有一整套熟食店进口肉类切割设备
and a whole deli's worth of imported meat-slicing appliances.
游船派对当晚你在兜售优托品
The night of the boat party, you were selling Utopium.
但你卖♥♥的优托品不纯里面掺了一些东西
But it wasn't pure. It was cut with something.
我们想要做更多的解药就需要那种优托品
We need more of it if we're gonna make more of the cure.
为什么我要提供帮助呢
And why would I want to help?
我是个人类我的事业蒸蒸日上
I'm human. I've got a thriving business.
我刚刚得知自己已被预批获得百思买♥♥卡[购物卡]
I just learned I've been pre-approved for a Best Buy card.
我已经洗心革面了
I've gone legit.
把那些违法乱纪的事情抛之脑后
Put my criminal ways behind me.
我们不确定你身上的疗效是否为永久的
We're not sure your cure is permanent.
两天内注射了首批解药的实验小鼠都死了
The first batch killed the test rat inside of two days.
你给我注射的是哪批解药
And which batch did you shoot me up with?
是第二批
The second.
我来给你的提起点兴趣吧
So let me appeal to your self-interest.
你的时间其实不多
You're likely on borrowed time,
所以如果我们拿不到那批被污染的优托品
and if we don't get that tainted Utopium,
可能某天早上醒来你会发现自己
you may wake up finding yourself
带对某种粉色东西的强烈欲望醒来
with a hankering for some of the pink stuff.
货到了
Shipment just arrived.
跟你说吧丽芙·摩尔
Tell you what, Liv Moore,
我会去调查一下游艇那一晚的优托品有什么特别之处
I'll make some inquiries about that special boat-night Utopium.
记得要用生命去调查
Inquire like your life depends on it.
还有你那套商人的虚伪面孔
Oh, and you can save your respectable businessman jiggery-pokery
留给那些相信你的人看吧
for someone who might buy it.
我发誓你的男朋友把我吓得不轻
Hand to God. Your boyfriend scared me straight.
我整个人都焕然一新了
I'm a changed man.