我是僵尸

iZombie S02E11

Part 5 May 1, 2020, 2:44 p.m.

- That's from the mayor? - Yeah.
"再接再厉女人们该为你自豪"
"Keep up the good work. You're a credit to your gender."
看来她是认真的这可是好酒
Well, looks like she means it. This is quality stuff.
没有你的帮忙我可办不到
I couldn't have done this without you.
要帮我吗
You want in?
你不会真的在哥伦比亚坐过牢吧
You did not do time in a Colombian prison.
行了你不能再喝了
All right. We're cutting you off.
是在哥斯达黎加更像是个醉汉拘留所
Costa Rica. And it was more of a drunk tank than a prison.
-听上去还是很假 -不绝对真实
- Still, it sounds made up. - Oh, it's all true.
毕业后我和我的表亲提米飞到了塔玛林多
My cousin Timmy and I flew down to Tamarindo after graduation.
位于哥斯达黎加的一个旅游胜地
有天晚上我和提姆在一间酒吧里
One night, Tim and I are getting yacked up
聊神风特攻队聊得正起劲
on kamikazes at this bar.
二战末期日本的自杀式袭击特攻队
花了很多钱
We're running up a tab.
突然我们俩其中一人发现钱包不见了
And at some point, one of us reaches for our wallet, it's gone.
原来我们两个的钱包都被偷了
We'd both been pickpocketed.
所以你们逃单的时候被抓了
So you got busted trying to walk a check?
那也没什么大不了的
That's not really badass.
耐心听好吗
Patience. All right?
然后送我们去的那个三轮车夫
Now, the pedicab driver that delivered us to this dive
比我们喝得还醉
is getting more blitzed at the bar than us.
所以我走出去偷了他的三轮车
So I walk outside, I steal the pedicab,
骑车骑了三小时来回载美国旅客
I drive American tourists around for three hours,
赚了八十美元然后我回到了酒吧里
I make 80 bucks, and I walk back in the bar.
脚踏车大盗
Grand theft bicycle.
这么说很酷但我并不是
That would have been way cooler, but no.
警♥察♥是因为我无证载客抓了我
The cop arrested me for operating a cab without a license.
你问我有没有被警♥察♥抓过的时候
You expected a "No"
你以为我会说"没有"吧
when you asked me if I've ever been arrested, didn't you?
我都没有问你有没有被抓过
I didn't ask if you'd been arrested.
我问的是你有没有被铐上过
I asked if you'd ever been handcuffed.
不等等
No! Wait!
我在占你便宜
I'm taking advantage of you.
我不觉得
I don't think that's true.
等等我用淫♥荡♥的
Wait. I roofied you
图书管♥理♥员♥的大脑把你迷晕了
with horny librarian brain.
那只是第一步
That's a first.
她很多年没有上过床了
she hadn't gotten laid in years.
这可真不是我
This really isn't me.
其实这跟我差不多
This isn't, uh, far from me.
真的我早就准备好要成为僵尸了
Really, I would've been willing pre-brain. Pre-zombie.
自从我过完十二岁的生日
Pretty much any time after my 12th birthday.
好吧
Okay...
这么办吧
Here's the plan.
如果这个大脑的作用消退后我们还有感觉
If we're still interested when this brain wears off a bit,
我们就继续做刚才没做完的事
we can pick up where we left off.
但是现在我们不能这么做
But right now, we can't do this.
我的人生故事
Story of my life.
僵尸妹子要把我打发走
Zombie date sends me away
等淫♥荡♥脑子劲儿过去
until horny brain wears off.
我不知道我为什么会这么做
I don't know why I do it,
但是我从大学开始就这样了
but it started in college.
我可没听到
I'm not hearing it.
-是吗 -是的
- Really? - Yeah.
就是威士忌上头了
It's just whiskey.
而且我也不知道
And I don't...
不知道怎么回事
I don't know what it is,
每次喝威士忌我都会醉得颠三倒四
but it makes me drunk southern.
那喝香槟呢
What about champagne?
喝完你会跟别人舌吻吗
Do you go French?
那龙舌兰呢
What about tequila?
我的天不要你不会想知道
Oh, god, no. You do not want to know
我喝了龙舌兰会干出什么事来
what happens to me when I drink tequila.
我还真的很有兴趣知道
I'm pretty sure I do.
-不 -告诉我吧
- No. No. - Yes.
至于我
As for me...
-我喝醉了会伦敦腔上身 -真的吗
- I go drunk Cockney, I do. - Oh!
亲爱的给我来杯杜松子酒
A cuppa mudder's ruin, luv,
然后就会说"瞧瞧那双美♥腿♥"
and it's all "Varder those bonnie lallies."
之类的
Etcetera, etcetera.
-那么这头发 -怎么了
- So, this hair... - Mmm-hmm?
你弄这个造型用了多少发蜡
How much product do you got working in here?
我只抹了润发油就出门了
It's just a dollop of pomade and I'm out the door.
-不可能 -真的
- No! - Yup.
我觉得你花了很多心思来弄这个造型
I think you put some serious time into this look.
总不能邋遢到
Well, we can't all look like
像被十四岁的小屁孩做实验捣鼓出来的吧
we were created in a lab by 14-year-old boys, can we?
老天
Oh, God.
毒芹杀手
它们是伞形的白色小花记得戴手套
Little white flowers in an umbrella pattern. Use gloves.
穆里尔·弗莱彻这是对你家的搜查令
Muriel Fletcher. This is a warrant to search your property.
凭什么
On what grounds?
你没有提到你的小说里的
You failed to mention that
一个人物吃了毒芹沙拉
a character in your novel eats a hemlock salad.
你有在格蕾丝的午餐下毒的机会
You had access to Grace's lunch.
你嫉妒她
You were jealous.
格蕾丝写的是黄书
Grace wrote pornography.
就算她成功了我也不想沾上关系
If that's success, I want no part of it.
这就是你要格蕾丝把
Is that why you asked Grace
你的手稿给她的出版商的原因吗
to give your manuscript to her publishers?
长官你得看看这个
Sir. You've gotta see this.
是的我有花♥园♥ 但我不种毒芹啊
Yes. Yes, I garden. But I don't grow hemlock.
我的书也跟格蕾丝的谋杀没有一点关系
And my book is nothing like Grace's murder!
出版商把PDF文件发了过来
The publisher sent the PDF.
那个小蠢货完全没有察觉我在她的沙拉里放了毒芹
The little fool had no idea I put hemlock in her salad.
她坐在那臼齿咀嚼着
There she sat, her molars
把叶子嚼出了她命运的形状
mashing the leaves into the shape of her destiny.
命运的形状
The shape of her destiny?
她想我把它发给我的编辑
She wants me to send it to my editor,
但我不能对勒娜做这种事
but I can't do that to Lerna.
来让我看看
Here, let me see that.
长官这个在壁炉里
Sir, this was in the fireplace.
一眼就看到
First thing we saw.
格蕾丝写的书的先行版
Bound galleys for Grace's book.
我猜你听说我们知道格蕾丝
I'm guessing you tried to destroy it when you heard
是被毒死后就试图试图销毁它
we had figured out Grace had to have been poisoned.
你在空白处写的
All these nasty comments
这些不堪的评论说明了你的动机
you wrote in the margins speak to motive.
该给你的壁炉加多点燃料的
Should've stoked your fire better.
克莱夫看
Clive, look.
在这一版格蕾丝用了她的真名
In this version, Grace used her real name.
还有相片
And a photograph.
不怎么匿名嘛
It's not very anonymous...
那是我认为是的东西吗
Is that what I think it is?
水毒芹
Water hemlock.
种在格蕾丝和安迪家的窗台上
In the window box of Grace and Andy's house.
我会在屋子里
I'll be inside,
列好对我花♥园♥造成损坏的赔偿单的
itemizing a bill for the damages to my garden.
在我影像里
In my vision,
我看见格蕾丝给安迪读穆里尔的书
I saw Grace reading Muriel's book to Andy.
但她不打算给她的编辑
But she wasn't giving it to her editor.
假如安迪冒充格蕾丝把书发给了编辑呢
What if Andy sent the book, posing as Grace?
然后借助书里的剧情来谋杀他的妻子
Then uses the book as a blueprint to kill his wife.
你妻子的出版商给了我们
Your wife's publisher provided us
格蕾丝要求用笔名时所用的电子邮箱
the email where Grace requested a pen name.
有趣的是它是一个新账户
Funny thing, it was from a new account.
在格蕾丝上班时从你们家注册的
One set up from your home while grace was at work.
你发了那封邮件
You sent that email.
你的护工托德确认了你有一个窗台种植箱
Your nurse Todd confirmed you had a window box planter.
格蕾丝死前一周
The week before Grace's death,
你让他取下它扔掉
you ordered him to take it down, trash it.