心舞（2012）

Bunheads S01E18

Part 8 May 5, 2021, 3:36 p.m.

她有个哥哥而且他痛不欲生
Yeah, she's got a brother, and he's in hell.
给你包裹
Okay. Here's your package,
需要你签个名
and she wants a signature.
这是我的电♥话♥号♥码
That's my phone number.
以防万一
Just in case.
多谢
Thank you.
-天啊他好帅 -特别帅
- God, he's cute. - So cute.
-他和她有点像 -但是很帅
- He kind of looks like her. - But cute.
我好久没觉得谁长得帅了
It's been so long since I thought anyone was cute.
可不是我甚至想...
I know, I could just...
完了
Oh, crap.
范妮我回来了
Fanny, I'm back.
-我看见了 -我想知道你是否想
- So I see. - I was wondering if you wanted me to sub
让我今晚替你的班作为交换
for you tonight? You know, in exchange--
妈呀那是什么
Holy hell. What is that?
我没时间和你讲话
I don't have time to talk to you.
这是我见过的最恶心的东西
That is the most repulsive thing I have ever seen.
甚至比秋季演奏会烂尾都可怕
Has the fall recital taken a very disturbing thematic turn?
米歇尔回家去我们明天再谈
Go home, Michelle. We'll talk tomorrow.
这是什么
What the--?
米歇尔拜托你离开
Michelle, please leave.
这些东西你到底是哪里弄来的
Where on earth did you get all this stuff?
我朋友柯林以前是接生婆
My friend Colleen used to be a midwife.
-给博基亚家族接生吗 -什么
- For the Borgias? - What?
14至16世纪意大利具影响力的家族
这些东西都是远古时代的
This stuff is ancient.
不全是
Not all of it.
这个讲的是怎么用牦牛的胃
This tells you how to make a condom
做一个避孕套然后建个方舟
out of a yak's stomach, and build an ark.
我甚至...他的头在哪里
I can't even-- where's his head?
-在盆骨里 -亲爱的耶稣玛丽莲啊
- In the pelvis. - Oh, sweet jesus and mary chain.
-走开 -我可能再也不会闭眼了
- Just go away. - I may never close my eyes again.
我说真的米歇尔
I mean it, Michelle.
她们坐在这里干什么
What are they doing sitting there?
发生什么了
What's going on?
我决定牺牲这节课
I have decided to devote tonight's class
用作性健康教育主题演讲
to the subject of sexual education.
不要
No.
有人向你询问性知识
Someone came to you with questions about sex.
我会知道这件事
I know this because you may be
是因为你的谎说得太烂了
one of the worst liars in history.
既然我不知道是她们中的哪一个
Now since I don't know which one it was,
我就给她们所有人讲一讲性知识
I'm going to have to talk to them all.
-范妮别这样 -为什么不呢
- Fanny, no. Don't. - Why not?
她们不想从你这儿了解性知识
They don't want to hear this from you.
为什么因为我是个可怕的老女人吗
Why, because I'm a hideous old woman?
你不可怕
You're not hideous.
你觉得我不了解性吗
You think I don't know about sex?
我非常了解性
I know all about sex.
我日记里面有一段
I have passages in my diaries
会让阿娜伊斯·宁都脸红
that would make Anais Nin blush.
美国传奇女作家有大胆的性意识
我对性♥欲♥的秘事不陌生
I am no stranger to clandestine carnal knowings.
而且我能全部解释给她们听
And I can explain it all to them.
你用"性♥欲♥秘事"这个词没人听得懂
Not if you use the words "Clandestine carnal knowings."
米歇尔走开
Go away, Michelle.
我们的约定仍然有效萨莎
范妮求你了我能处理这事
Fanny, please. I'm gonna handle this.
-是吗 -是的
- You are? - Yes.
-什么时候 -星期天
- When? - On Sunday.
-什么 -当她来找我的时候
- What? - When this person came to me,
我们约好周日谈
we made an appointment to talk on Sunday.
-你开玩笑吧 -周日6点
- You're kidding. - Sunday at 6:00.
或者是5点或者是4点
Or 5:00... 4:00.
周日的3点至8点之间
Sunday sometime between 3:00 and 8:00.
你做了一个预约在周日的3至8点间
You made an appointment to discuss sex
和一个年轻女生谈性
with a young girl on Sunday between 3:00 and 8:00
你以为你是凯布尔吗
like you're the Cable guy?
美国小说家以描写19世纪社会生活的小说知名
你这么说听着很邪恶
Well, you make that sound bad.
你怎么会把这么重要的事放到周日谈呢
You would put something this important off until Sunday?
她很可能周日前就怀孕了
She could be pregnant by Sunday.
她不会周日前就怀孕的
She's not gonna be pregnant by Sunday.
-为什么不 -范妮因为她很聪明
- Why not? - Because she's smart, Fanny.
可她选择向你询问性知识
She came to you for sex advice.
好吧不是指智力测试上的聪明
Okay, we're not talking Mensa smart,
门萨俱乐部是做智力测试的国际组织
但是她够聪明不会在两天内怀孕
but she's smart enough not to get pregnant in two days.
米歇尔我对这些孩子有很重大的责任
I feel a great responsibility to all these kids, Michelle.
所以请让我处理
So please just let me handle this.
好了沙妮亚发下去
All right, Shania, pass these out.
好的
All right.
每人拿一个
Everyone's going to get one of these.
首先你们要知道的是
Now the first thing to know
性不是个人行为
is that sex is not impersonal.
是人对人的
It is human to human.
是亲密的
It is intimate.
生命历程
我们要谈论的是
We are going to talk about
如何与异性真正地互动
how to truly interact with the opposite sex.
各位给你们的香蕉起个名字
Everyone, name your bananas.
天呐范妮
Oh my god. Fanny.
走开
Go away.
名字可以随便取
Name it anything you like.
但要起一个有积极感情♥色♥彩的名字
But a name that you have positive feelings towards.
简直是疯了
This is insane.
不想看就走开
Go away if you don't want to watch.
然后呢
Now everyone,
假装你们的香蕉提出要和你们有性行为
pretend your banana has just asked you to have sex.
这样行不通的
This isn't gonna work.
我对香蕉过敏
I'm allergic to bananas.
出来透透气吗
Made a break for it?
逃出来了
Clean getaway.
别担心花巨资治疗后
Don't worry. After hundreds of thousands of dollars of therapy,
你就能忘记里面发生的一切了
you'll forget what just happened in there.
所以还是有希望的咯
Oh, so there's hope.
喝得醉醺醺可能会更顺利点
Heavy drinking may speed things along.
所以...今天的面试如何
So, how was the audition today?
还行
It was fine.
是吗
Yeah?
是
Yeah.
那就好
Good.
你还好吗
You okay?
怎么了
Hey, what's wrong?
金妮
Ginny?
我的香蕉名叫弗兰基
My banana's name is Frankie.
什么
What?
我和弗兰基睡了
I slept with Frankie.
我都不知道你们在约会
I didn't even know you were dating frankie.
我没在约会
I'm not.
他不约会他只是...
He doesn't date. He just...
以人性共有的方式存在
Exists with the rest of humanity.
这是什么意思
What does that mean?
我不知道
I don't know.
我从来都搞不懂他在说什么
I never know what he's talking about.
他可以连续几小时不说话
And he can go for hours without saying anything at all.
他长得太好看了
He's just so beautiful.
我知道
I know.
你可以爱上从没说过话的人吗
Can you love someone you've never had a conversation with?
你们什么时候...
When did you...?
上星期
Last week.
之后呢
And since?
没见过他
Haven't seen him.