实习医生格蕾

Grey's Anatomy S17E09

Part 6 April 10, 2021, 9:59 p.m.

一种卸下所有责任的感觉
A feeling of being free from all responsibilities,
哪怕只有一秒
even just for a second...
没有孩子没有混乱的感情
no kids, no messy relationships,
没有临死的病人
no dying patients...
如果六个月前你这么问我
If you'd have asked me that six months ago,
我会说没有但现在
I would have said no, but now...
我当然这么想过
of course I do.
我不知道该怎么形容
I don't know how to describe it.
这就像
It's like...
就像有一条
It's like there's this...
毯子从头包裹着我
blanket on top of me.
一条潮湿沉重...的疲惫毯子
Like a wet, heavy blanket of just... fatigue.
抵抗
Defense.
什么
What?
当我有这种毯子的感觉时
When I get that blanket feeling?
是因为我在抵抗
It's because I'm defending
生气愤怒和受伤的感觉
against having to feel anger, rage, hurt.
她伤害了你
She hurt you.
你受伤了
You're hurt.
麻木自己非常容易
Well, it's easier to just feel numb.
你不需要重新和她在一起
You don't have to go back to her.
但你也不能每天都沉浸在恨她之中
But you cannot afford to spend every day hating her.
那也太痛苦了
It's too hard.
那条毯子永远不会离开你了
That blanket will never lift.
我不知道我该怎么办
I don't know. W-What do I do?
在互助会时我们会为讨厌的人祈福
In NA, we pray for the people we resent.
这让我很难受
It's the worst.
我讨厌这个环节
I always hate it.
我们祝福他们一切顺利
We pray for them to get well.
祝愿他们找到幸福
For them to find happiness,
得到所有那些我们希望自己能得到的东西
get all of the things that we would want for ourselves.
我们每天都会祈福连续好几周
And we do it every day, for weeks.
我不知道是什么原理反正挺有用
And I don't know why it works but it does.
怨恨慢慢变淡了原谅填充进来
The resentment lifts and forgiveness sets in.
然后和他们感同身受
Then you coparent.
也许最终
And maybe eventually...
能够弥合一些东西
something can be rebuilt.
我觉得我做不到
I don't think I can do that.
你能做到
You can do it.
你做到过
You've done it before.
你原谅了我
You did it with me.
都是我的错
It's all my fault.
这些都是你的错吗
All of this is your fault?
是的我的父母艾莉森亨利德卢卡
Yes! My parents, Allison, Henry, DeLuca...
可别说我我还在呢
Don't say me. I'm still here.
我没能救活他们我本该救活他们
I couldn't save them. I should have saved them!
不连我都知道他们救不活
No. Even I know that they couldn't be saved.
我不知道你父母发生了什么
I don't know what happened with your parents,
但是艾莉森和德卢卡都是死于
but Allison and DeLuca were tragic casualties
一些你没有能力控制的事情
of circumstances you had no power to control.
而亨利在你嫁给他的时候
And Henry... Henry was already dying
-他本就要死了 -我爱欧文
- when you married him. - I love Owen.
你逃离了痛苦
You run from pain.
你父母死了你逃向了艾莉森
Your parents died and you ran to Allison.
艾莉森死了你参了军然后逃向了欧文
Allison died, and you joined the Army and ran to Owen.
欧文选择了克里斯蒂娜你又逃向了亨利
Owen chose Cristina, you dove into Henry.
这不公平
This isn't fair.
欧文又和艾米莉娅在一起了你利用了卡洛西科
And then Owen is with Amelia, and you used Koracick.
请别说了别说了
Please stop. Stop it.
-你总是逃离痛苦泰迪 -别说了
- You run from pain, Teddy. - Stop it.
大家都是这样
We all do it.
可怕的事情发生
Something terrible happens,
我们责怪自己我们不想忍♥受
we blame ourselves and we don't want to feel it
所以我们逃离
so we run.
我们也会逃离快乐因为我们觉得自己不配幸福
We run from joy too because we think we don't deserve happiness.
但这是相辅相成的
But it's a package deal.
没有不伴随痛苦的快乐
There is no joy without pain.
走吧泰迪我们离开这里
Come on, Teddy. Let's leave this place.
求你别死
Please don't die.
我尽力
I'll do my best.
想要理解你所犯的每一个错误
There's a problem with trying to understand
然而问题是
every mistake you've made...
这不可能
you can't.
同时这会剥夺你的生活计划未来
And trying to robs you of your life, your plans, your future.
并且如果你止步不前
Plus, you can't really learn from your mistakes
你也无法从错误中学到什么
if you stop moving forward.
你确定不需要我留下来吗
You sure you don't want me to stay?
好蠢的问题
Probably a stupid question.
如果需要就给我打电♥话♥
Just call me if you need me.
谢谢你
Hey, thank you.
感谢你做的一切真心的
For everything. I mean it.
我知道
I know you do.
特别要感谢你帮忙拼好了小床
Oh, and especially thank you for helping with that bed.
我会把你的功劳告诉利奥
I'm gonna share credit with Leo.
好的但你小心别在发脾气时砸坏它
Alright, just don't break it if you get mad.
我怎么会...好吧好吧
I'm not gonna... Okay, yeah.
再见
Bye.
未来让人畏惧充满未知
It's scary. It's uncertain.
但你能在那发现非常特别的礼物
But you'll find something pretty special there...
我在呢
I'm here.
我在呢
I'm here.
希望
...hope.