实习医生格蕾

Grey's Anatomy S17E06

Part 6 March 17, 2021, 10:34 a.m.

她是我老师
She was my teacher.
她比我认识的所有人都爱动手术
She loves to cut more than anybody I know.
她会跟我说
She would tell me that
我是因为疫情才这样
it's a reaction to the pandemic
而且放弃做手术简直是疯了...
and that it's insane to quit surgery, and...
某种程度上她是对的
on some level, she'd be right.
但是...
But...
但我一想到辞职
But when I think about quitting,
就感到好开心
it brings me so. Much. Joy.
好像我有一个见不得人的小秘密
It's like I have a dirty little secret.
五个小时内...
27 patients transferred...
转移了27名病人
in under five hours.
而且我们都还没倒下
And somehow we're all still standing.
那...你砸东西了吗
So...did you break something?
我捂着枕头尖叫了几分钟
I screamed into a pillow for a few minutes.
谢谢你
Thank you.
我妈去世时...
You know, when my mom died...
...我简直无法用语言形容我的糟糕感受
...I don't even have words to describe how bad it felt.
好像痛苦要把我的灵魂带离我的躯壳
Like the pain should just carry me out of my body
带我和她一起走
and take me with her.
我感觉我的灵魂不在身体里
I feel like I'm not in my body.
好像我在看着自己走来走去
Like I'm watching myself move around,
而我不在那儿
but I'm not all there.
我不知道该怎样办葬礼
I have no idea what to do about a memorial.
她想要一些开心的事
She wanted something joyous.
父亲和我坐在一辆白色礼宾车里
My father and I following behind the hearse
跟在灵柩后面
in a white limo.
必须是白色的
Had to be white.
她教堂的唱诗班在全体会众面前
Her church choir singing "His Eye Is On The Sparrow"
唱着《祂看顾麻雀》
in front of the entire congregation.
没人哭
And no crying.
是的她说她参加了太多悲伤的葬礼
Yeah, said she'd been to enough sad funerals.
她希望葬礼有好吃的食物
She wanted good food,
好听的音乐充满欢声笑语
good music, and laughter.
每天在新冠重症病房♥里工作
You know, working every day in the Covid ICU,
我得说我见过一些非常美好的东西
I have to say, I've seen some -- some pretty beautiful things.
烛光守夜视频纪念
Candlelit drive-by vigils and video memorials.
我知道这些都不够理想
Look, I know none of it's ideal,
但这确实提供了一丝安慰
but it does provide a little comfort.
你介意我先失陪一下吗
Do -- do you mind if I knock off?
我得去吃药然后休息
I-I have to take my meds and get some sleep.
怎么了
What?
当然不介意
No, of course.
我只是为你感到十分自豪德卢卡
I'm just so proud of you, DeLuca.
管理好自己的心理健康吃药
Managing your mental health, taking your meds,
休息设定界限
getting rest, setting boundaries.
哪怕我们不在疫情中
That's not easy even when we aren't
这也并不容易
in the middle of a pandemic.
我猜我只是运气好
Guess I'm just lucky
我周围的人都没放弃我
I was surrounded by people that didn't give up on me.
晚安主任
Night, Chief.
我们想你妈妈
蓝色警报 4878房♥
Code Blue, room 4878.
蓝色警报 4878房♥
Code Blue, room 4878.
蓝色警报 4878房♥
Code Blue, room 4878.
蓝色警报 4878房♥
Code Blue, room 4878.
蓝色警报 4878房♥
Code Blue, room 4878.
蓝色警报 4878房♥
Code Blue, room 4878.
格蕾医生回床上躺着
Dr. Grey, get back in bed.
急救队马上就到
The code team will be here any minute.
她可没那个时间
She doesn't have that kind of time!
给我一个气管插管
Get me an ET tube.
接着按压
Take over compressions.
格蕾医生
Dr. Grey!
好吧我插♥进♥去了给她上气袋
Alright, I'm in. Bag her.
你在干什么
What the hell are you doing?
赫尔姆给我拿个轮椅
Helm, get me a wheelchair.
泰迪我不想一直惩罚你
Teddy, I don't want to keep punishing you.
我们还有孩子记得吗
We have kids, you know?
也许是时候聊聊我们要怎么办了
Maybe it's time we start to talk about what we're gonna do.
艾莉森
Allison.
艾莉森没事我今早跟妈聊过她说
Allison's fine. I talked to Mom this morning. She said that --
不欧文不是我们的艾莉森
No, Owen. Not our Allison.
是我的艾莉森
My Allison.
我们不仅仅是最好的朋友
We weren't just best friends.
我曾爱着她她也曾爱着我
I was in love with her, and she was in love with me.
我们当时彼此深爱
We were so deeply in love.
我不知道这跟我对你做的事有什么关系
And I don't know what this has to do with what I did to you.
但我知道这是汤姆和这事之前
But I know that is it the only secret that I kept from you before Tom
我唯一瞒着你的秘密我...
and before this. I...
我知道这些是有关联的
I know that it's connected.
我非常了解你
And I know you well enough
我知道你需要知道事情的全部
to know that you -- you need the whole story.
我也并不完全清楚
I don't know all of it yet,
但我想告诉你我所知道的
but I wanted to give you what I do know.
我不知道这事该怎么办
I don't know what to do with this.
你什么都不需要做
You don't have to do anything.
我只想让你知道我爱你爱我们的孩子
I just want you to know that I love you and I love our kids
我爱我们的家哪怕我们已不再是一家人
and I loved our family, even if it's over.
这就说得通了
This makes so much sense.
从我们结婚日那天起
I mean, ever since our wedding day...
我就一直拼凑回忆
I've been trying to piece it together.
我们的过往
Our history.
寻找着你变化的时刻当你变成一个
Searching for when you changed and became someone
做着我无法理解事情的人
that was capable of doing things that I couldn't understand.
结果我发现
And it turns out that...
你并没有变
you didn't change.
结果是
Turns out --
结果是我从来都不了解你
Turns out I just never really knew you.
欧文那不是真的
Owen, that's not true.
你又知道什么是真实的呢泰迪
Do you even know what true is, Teddy?
我们给女儿取的名字都是个谎言
We named our daughter after a lie.
不不不不不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
我从没见过这种事
I have never seen anything like this.
今天大家都很努力
Everyone really pulled together today.
其实还挺美好的
It would be beautiful
只要别有这么多垂死之人
if it wasn't full of dying people.
我是说新冠肺炎
I mean covid.
我们已经尽力了但这是我职业生涯第一次
We're doing our best, but this is the first time in my career
我不确定这是否足够
I'm not sure that's enough.
很快我们就会失去自己人了
Pretty soon, we're gonna start losing our own.
不是被疾病打败
Not to the disease
而是被所有付出的代价
but to the toll it's taking.
恐怕这次疫情
I fear this will hurt us
对我们的伤害将会远超过我们的理解
in a way we can't even begin to understand.
是格蕾
It's Grey.
来吧
Come on.
病房♥
她的氧饱和在急速下降
Her sats are plummeting.
-但她之前还好好的 -对直到她下床
- But she was fine -- - Yeah, until she got out of bed
试图救活一个心跳停止的病人
and tried to resuscitate a coding patient.
抢救的辛劳让她身体到了极限
The exertion, it just pushed her over the edge.
也许是但也或许是她的肺早已千疮百孔
Maybe. Or maybe her lungs already looked that way.
试验用药
The experimental drug
无法治愈已造成的损伤
doesn't reverse damage that's already occurred.
她或许是新冠重症患者了
She might have been on a COVID high.
拿给她用双向呼吸道正压通气输氧机呢
What about putting her on bipap?
那也不够如果对浓度输氧已经对她不管用了
It won't be enough. If she's not already responding to high flow.
皮尔斯在哪
Where's Pierce?
她回家了一直没接电♥话♥
She went home. She's not answering her phone.
我觉得到时候了韦伯医生
I think it's time. Dr. Webber --