无耻家庭

Shameless S09E01

Part 5 Jan. 6, 2020, 2:28 p.m.

你总是去上厕所
Uh, you take a lot of bathroom breaks--
尿尿换姨妈巾什么的我给你计时了
peeing, getting your period and whatnot--and I timed you.
-什么 -八小时工作时间
- What? - Twenty-four minutes
你上厕所用了24分钟
in the can during an eight-hour shift.
那是因为你的便池很恶心
That's because your port-a-potties are fucking disgusting.
你们尿得马桶坐垫上都是
You guys piss all over the seats.
我要花5分钟清洁马桶并在上面筑个巢
It takes me five minutes to clean it and build a nest
才敢坐在上面尿尿
before I can sit down and pee.
这个世界就是如此大♥波♥妹你不喜欢
Way of the world, Jugs. You don't like it,
就换份工作
find another job.
婚礼炮最爽了
Wedding fucks are the best.
-你之前试过吗 -七次了
- You've done this before? - Seven times.
你想要在婚礼上操♥我♥ 不是吗
You want my wedding pussy, don't you?
这是你独有的下流话吗
Your version of dirty talk?
怎么让你兴奋了
Why, is it working?
当然
Sure.
你的鸡♥巴♥搞得我头晕目眩的
Ah, your cock is making me really dizzy.
是好的那种吗
That a good thing?
我现在看天花板都在转
Fucking hallway's spinning around right now.
要我停下来吗
Oh, hey, you want me to stop?
我去
Fuck.
你没事吧
Hey, are you all right?
天呐
Man.
我觉得好多了
I feel a lot better.
好吧我们赶快完事吧
Okay, yeah, let's finish this thing.
我还想喝一杯
I need another drink.
到底是哪四个混♥蛋♥感染了
Whoever you four fuckers are that are infected,
我刚被一个一英尺长的棉签捅了我的鸡♥巴♥
I just got a foot-long Q-tip just shoved up my dick.
我理解你们的愤怒和沮丧
I understand your anger and your frustration,
我们非常感谢你们的合作
and we appreciate your cooperation.
现在所有人都接受了检查
At this time, everyone has been tested.
谢谢你
Thank you.
唐纳德和伊莱兹·沃茨
Uh, Donald and Eliza Watts,
宝拉·多德
Paula Dowd,
利亚和约翰·阿尔珀林
Leah and John Alperin,
托德·卡尼
Tod Carney,
凯特和莉娜·托马斯
Kate and Lina Thomas.
你们都可以走了
You're all free to go.
-太好了 -该死
- Yes! - Fuck.
那我们呢
What about the rest of us?
你们测试结果都是阳性
You all tested positive.
不这不可能我要打给我的律师了
No, that's impossible. I'm calling my lawyer.
太荒谬了
That's ridiculous.
听着大伙我们必须
Look, folks, we have
继续追查这个传染网
to trace this communicable web
看有没有不在这个屋的人也受了感染
to see if anybody is infected that is not in this room.
我不能强迫你们
Look, I can't force you
说出自己的性伙伴
to reveal your sexual partners,
但你们给我们的任何信息
but any information you give us
都能拯救无辜的性命
could very well save lives.
我和艾琳·布拉格睡了
I slept with I-Irene Bragg.
混♥蛋♥
Asshole!
死荡♥妇♥
Fucking whore.
艾德
Ed.
查理兹·斯图尔特
Charlize Stewart.
什么
What?
我和我的网球教练睡了
I slept with my tennis pro.
我睡了我们的保姆
I slept with our nanny.
我和我的妇科医生上♥床♥了
I had sex with my gynecologist.
我一直都在幻想有足够的钱
I always fantasized about having enough money
囤一堆厕纸
to stock up on toilet paper.
志向远大啊
Lofty goals.
我小时候
Hey, when I was a kid,
只能找到什么用什么
we had to use whatever we could find.
圣诞纸巾
Christmas napkins,
平装书页
paperbacks,
咖啡滤纸
coffee filters.
不接吗
You don't answer it?
不接
No.
还要有箱子要拆
Got boxes to unpack.
还有厕所要清洁
I've got a bathroom to clean.
我每周都做清洁没有那么脏吧
I clean it every week. It's not that dirty, is it?
检查过马桶后面吗
Ever look behind the toilet?
没有也不打算去看
No, and I never plan on doing so.
评估报告出来了我能凑齐保释金了
The appraisal report came in. I can get the bail money.
怎么了
What?
没什么
Nothing.
说
What?
最好别掺和进去了
Better not to get involved.
掺和进我的事
With me?
你家人的事
With your family.
要和我在一起你就得掺和我家人的事
If you're involved with me, you're involved with my family.
还是聊聊你的脏厕所吧
Let's talk about your dirty toilet.
你觉得我不该去保释他吗
You don't think I should bail him out?
我没这么说
Didn't say that.
你什么也没说我就像对墙说话一样
You didn't say anything. It's like talking to a wall.
"不好意思墙先生我刚弄到了
"Uh, excuse me, Mr. Wall. I just got
我弟的保释金
the money to bail out my brother.
是不是很棒"
Isn't that great?"
"是的菲奥娜太棒了"
"Why, yes, Fiona. That is fantastic!"
我觉得墙不会这么说
I doubt the wall would say that.
是吗那墙会怎么说
Yeah? Well, what would the fucking wall say, then?
伊恩点着了一辆货车
Ian set a--a van on fire.
很可能弄出人命他有耶稣情结
Coulda killed somebody. He has a Jesus complex.
你也说过他药也不好好吃
You said he's on and off his medication.
你是说我不该捞我弟出来吗
So I shouldn't bail my own brother out?
到时候他要是不出庭呢
What if he doesn't show up for his trial?
-不会的 -你确定
- He wouldn't do that. - You sure?
他知道我这次是豁出去了
He knows my ass is on the line.
他要是跑了你的钱就全打水漂了
If he skips town, you lose all your money.
这笔钱你可以拿去投资别的
Could be put to better use.
-比如 -什么都行
- How? - Don't know.
再买♥♥幢公♥寓♥楼
Invest in another apartment building.
搞个咖啡店瑜伽馆
Buy a cafe, yoga studio--
除了你弟投资什么都行
anything but your brother.
贝弗莉
Beverly.
我家的园丁巴勃罗
My gardener, Pablo.
我不知道他姓什么
I, uh-- I don't know his last name.
库尔特·阿尔瓦雷斯
Uh, Kurt Alvarez.
就是那个泳池清洁工还有
Our pool guy. And, uh...
弗兰克
Frank.
我和弗兰克睡过
I slept with Frank.
我也是
So did I.
我也是
Me too.
嗯弗兰克
Yep. Frank.
-我也和弗兰克睡过 -我也和弗兰克睡过
- I slept with Frank. - I slept with Frank.
弗兰克
Frank.
小维你瞧我有多硬
V, look how hard I am for you.
看我的鸡儿邦硬都能挂起uf8f5uf8f5
My dick is so hard, it's holding up this--
小凯
Kev!
天啊小维你不是应该哄她们睡觉的吗
Jesus, V, you're supposed to be putting them to bed!
她们不肯睡我打算把她们累晕过去
They won't sleep. I'm trying to tire them out.
那首俄♥罗♥斯♥摇篮曲你试过没
Did you sing that Russian lullaby to them?
唱了几千遍了我书也读了
A thousand times, and I read to them,
抱也抱了晃也晃了
and I rocked them and I cuddled them
连威胁的招我都试过了
and I threatened them.
咱们给她们灌点酒吧
We should rub crème de menthe in their mouths.
-什么 -以前我的养父母
- What? - All my foster parents
要哄我们睡觉就用这招
used to give us booze for us kids to go to sleep.
你的例子就是最有力的差评
That's not a great selling point.