无耻家庭

Shameless S09E06

Part 4 Jan. 6, 2020, 2:30 p.m.

You're not remotely serious about us getting a place together.
不是这样
That is not true.
胡扯
Bullshit.
这里就是个很好的公♥寓♥
I have a perfectly good apartment right here.
这里太小了我的东西都没法搬进来
Which is too small for me to move any of my stuff into.
对我来说现在不是花那么多钱的时候
It's not the right time for me to be spending that kind of money.
等那个时候到了再告诉我
Well, let me know when it is the right time,
也许我那时还在你身边
and maybe, I might still be around.
你要去哪里
Where are you going?
去取消支票解除租♥房♥♥合同
To cancel a check and break a lease so God forbid
我们就他妈不用住在一起了
we don't have to fucking live together.
贱♥货♥
Yo, bitch.
去我的牢房♥ 立刻
My cell, now.
不可能拉里
No way, Larry. Ow.
你做错了
See, wrong move.
你的喉咙已经被割开了
You just got your throat slit.
-现在你死了 -该死
- And now you're dead. - Shit.
哥们我们怎么教你的
Dude, what the hell did we teach you?
你的屁♥股♥肯定会在监狱里被♥操♥开花的
Your ass gonna get fucked up in prison.
再来一次
Run it again.
去我的牢房♥ 贱♥货♥
My cell, bitch.
不要靠近刀片
You don't roll into the blade.
用左手抓住她拿刀的手腕
Use your left hand to grab her wrist with the knife.
抓住她的手肘然后过肩摔
Grab her elbow, then throw.
没事吧
You good?
没事
Yeah.
来了
Yeah?
伊恩在吗
Ian here?
你是哪位
Who wants to know?
我叫安东尼奥
My name's Antonio.
何塞利托让我来的
Joselito sent me.
我就是伊恩
Oh. Yeah, I'm Ian.
进来吧
Come in.
说的是牢里那个何塞利托吗
We talking Joselito from County?
他怎么样了
How's he doing?
丫又多判了20年捅了警卫一刀
Jackass got extra 20 years. Stabbed a guard.
太惨了
That sucks.
他跟里奥还在一起吗
Uh, is he still with Leo?
没了里奥出狱后就分手了
Nah, they broke up after Leo got released.
异地恋行不通的
That long-distance shit never works.
这次来找我是为什么
So what's going on?
何塞利托想让我在你进去之前
Joselito wanted me to give you an in-depth
给你详细指导一下
safety orientation about Beckman Correctional
贝克曼监狱的生存之道
before they send you up.
是我的英格丽吗
Is that my Ingrid?
不是就是个疯男人
No, it's just some crazy dude.
所以这个女人到底有什么特别
What's so special about this chick we're waiting for, anyway?
儿子知道自己擅长什么
Well, son, it's a great gift in this life
绝对是生活给你的馈赠
to know what you're good at.
而我
And, uh,
擅长跟疯子打交道
I'm good at crazy.
我喜欢照看她们觉得自己是被需要的
I'm a caretaker to it. Makes me feel needed.
跟你妈妈在一起时就是这种感觉
It's how I felt with your mother.
而且永远不会无聊看这个
Plus, it's never boring. Look at this.
那是什么东西
What the hell is that?
莫妮卡干的
Monica.
我当时睡着了
I was asleep.
她忽然想把我点燃
Decided she was gonna light me on fire,
一次点燃一个部位
one body part at a time.
-为什么 -疯子的事谁说的清呢
- Why? - Hard to say with a crazy person.
这就是最刺♥激♥的部分
That's the thrill.
你永远不知道下一秒等待你的会是什么
You never know what you're gonna get, moment to moment.
谢天谢地
Thankfully,
在把我身体其他部位点燃之前她昏过去了
she passed out before she could torch the rest of my body.
我原本已经放弃
I'd given up trying to find
再次找寻那样的刺♥激♥了直到现在
excitement like that again, till now.
我再去拿点软糖饼干
I'm gonna get some more of those, um, fudge stripes,
回来再跟你细说莫妮卡那次
and then I'll tell you about the time Monica
用台球杆把我膝盖骨敲碎了的事
shattered my kneecap with a pool cue.
那是我这辈子最棒的一次性♥爱♥
It was the best sex of my life.
那片云好像一只马丁尼杯
That cloud up there looks like a martini glass.
不明明是啤酒漏斗
Nah, it's clearly a beer funnel.
你什么时候开始喝酒的
When did you start drinking?
九岁
Nine?
或者更早
Maybe earlier.
我是十二岁
I was 12.
我们后院里随时都放着个啤酒桶
We had a beer keg tapped in our backyard at all times.
在兄弟会长大的啊
Grow up in a fraternity?
试过戒酒吗
You ever try and stop?
当然
Course.
生活这么艰难
Life's hard.
酒精是我唯一的救赎
Booze is my only escape.
那你为什么要雇一个戒酒助手
Why'd you hire a sober companion, then?
不是我雇的
I didn't.
海兰德化妆品给我雇的
Highland Cosmetics did after the incident,
秋天那会儿我们在拍一组圣诞广♥告♥
where we're doing this Christmas commercial in the fall,
我骑着马穿过中♥央♥公园
and I was riding a horse through Central Park,
结果摔下马了
and I fell off.
-你喝醉了吗 -醉成一滩烂泥
- Drunk? - I was plastered.
马当然受惊了然后就跑了
Course, the horse got spooked and took off,
猜猜我♥干♥了件什么事
and guess what I did?
开始追着它跑
Start chasing after him.
-厉害 -我踩着高跟鞋
- Sure. - I was wearing high heels
还穿着雪天使的裙子
and this snow angel thing.
我差点就追上它了我向你保证
Yeah. I almost caught it, and I promise you,
-我要是没吐的话肯定追上了 -好吧
- I could've, had I not puked. - Sure.
我惊了你居然没看到吗
I'm surprised you didn't see it.
网上四处疯传你没看到那个动图吗
It was all over the Internet. You didn't see the gif?
-没有 -就是
- No. - The...
我去
Aw, man.
我们去吃午饭吧
Let's go get some lunch.
我他妈快饿死了
I'm fucking starving.
当然走吧
Sure, yeah.
麦克斯有时间吗
Hey, Max. You got a second?
什么事我快迟到了
Yeah, what's up? Late for a thing.
-我想退出 -什么
- I need to get out of our deal. - What?
我发现了新的商机但现在手头有点紧
Another opportunity came up, and I'm short on cash.
什么商机
What other opportunity?
是我会感兴趣的那种商机吗
Is it something I want to invest in?
我不能跟别人说但我得马上出手
I'm not allowed to say, but I gotta act fast.
你在开玩笑吗
Are you kidding me?
你蛮不讲理地加入了我的项目
You bullied your way onto my project,
我却不能参与你的项目吗
and I can't get in on yours?
抱歉这个不是我能决定的
I'm sorry. My hands are tied.
怎么才能拿回我在夕阳红项目里投的钱
So how can I get my money out of the Sunset Brook project?
没办法已经投资了
You can't. I mean, it's been invested.
合伙人的申请也已经提交所以...
And the paperwork's already been filed on the partnership, so...
可我没想到养老院会延期12个月
Well, I wasn't expecting a 12-month delay on the senior center.
我们都没想到
None of us were.
所以你要去做什么回报比这个还高吗
So what's the other thing? You getting a better return?
所以你才想退出对吗
Is that, uh-- is that why you want to bail?
差不多吧
Something like that.
天呐
Jesus.
我还以为我们合作愉快挺愉快的
You know, I thought we had a good business thing going here.
你我相辅相成互利共赢
I scratch your back, you scratch mine.
我算看清你了加拉格
See how you are, Gallagher.
好吧别忘了交两万五美金
All right, don't forget my 25K.
你们对性♥爱♥玩具有点痴迷是吗
So we have a little sex toy obsession, do we?
痴迷不不我...
Obsession? No, no, I would--
我不这么认为
I wouldn't say that at all.
其实我们只有这一个性♥爱♥玩具神父