无耻家庭

Shameless S09E11

Part 2 Jan. 6, 2020, 2:35 p.m.

Kev, come on! We're gonna be late!
你先去
You go ahead!
我们到那见
I'll meet you there.
你开什么车去你胡说什么呢
With what car? What are you talking about?
快点
Come on!
你在干什么
Hey! What are you doing?
我们要迟到了
We're gonna be late!
我谷歌♥了
I Googled it.
谷歌♥什么了
Googled what?
输精管切除术
Vasectomies.
我在油管上看了个视频不
I saw a video on YouTube, and no,
我不要做这个手术不去
I'm not doing that shit. No.
只是切一个两毫米的口子两天就好了
It's a two-millimeter incision that heals in two days.
普通感冒都比这好得慢
The common cold lasts longer.
这是用刀在我的包蛋切口子
It's an incision with a knife into my ball bag.
89%不想再生孩子的人
It's what 89% of people do
都会这么做
when they don't want to have kids anymore.
你同意了的你说你想这么做
You agreed to this. You said you wanted to do it.
那是失去圣地亚哥后伤心过度做出的冲动决定
I was emotionally distraught from losing Santiago!
凯文·鲍尔
Kevin Ball,
赶快给我滚出来
get your ass out here right now,
不然我就亲手把你变成洛雷纳·博比特
before I Lorena Bobbit you myself.
美国著名案件
案中妻子被醉酒丈夫洛雷纳·博比特醉酒强♥奸♥后
将他的阴♥茎♥割了下来
很好上车
Excellent. In the car.
鲍尔家族出门了
Ball family, out!
鲍尔[蛋蛋]没了
Ball out.
好了流浪汉们
All right, hobos.
流浪疯汉挑战的决赛日已经来临
The final day of the Hobo Loco Man challenge is upon us.
今天你们中有一人会摘取流浪疯汉之冠
Today, one of you will be crowned the Hobo Loco Man.
今天的比赛有三轮
Three rounds today:
四分之一决赛半决赛和总决赛
quarterfinals, semifinals, and finals.
第一项挑战是乞讨
The first challenge is begging!
你们要在两小时内乞讨到尽可能多的钱
You'll have two hours to make as much money as you can begging.
你觉得今天最有竞争力的是谁
Who do you think our competition is today?
姐妹会的那个女的我觉得她是匹黑♥马♥
Hmm, sorority girl, I think, is the dark horse.
我以前有个表妹她是δν姐妹会的
I had a cousin once. She was part of the Delta Nu.
她已经死了
She's dead.
格洛丽亚
Gloria?
天呐你看这个人
Jesus. But this guy.
他可能是个强力夺冠人选
He may be a strong finisher.
我看见他在巷子里拉屎没用草纸
I saw him take a shit in the alley with no TP.
直接用墨西哥卷饼擦了屁♥股♥
Wiped himself with a taco.
硬的还是软的
Hard or soft?
墨西哥卷饼
The taco?
硬的
Hard.
谢谢
Thank you.
0.27 很强势
.27. Coming in hot.
你的血都能当燃料了
Your blood is basically jet fuel.
我为这一天训练了一辈子了
I've been training my whole life for this day.
也是0.27
.27 as well.
我们真是难分上下
Ain't we even stephens?
好了请显示两小时倒计时
All right, can I get two hours on the clock?
预备
And...
开始
Go!
快出发出发
Come on, let's go, go, go!
塔米没来我们要走吗
Tami's not here. Should we bounce?
再等几分钟吧
Let's give her another minute.
看见没那里
See? There.
那个格栅能通到这里
That grate opens up to it.
如果我们有人下去向上推另一个待在这里
If one of us goes under and pushes up and one of us stays here
-向上拉 -我们就能把它弄出来了
- pulls up... - We'll be able to get it out!
你在上还是在下
Are you a top or a bottom?
-我是说... -我下去吧
- I mean... - I'll go down.
-你待在这里 -好
- You stay here. - Right.
听你的
What you said.
你脸有点红小黛
You're looking a little flushed there, Debs.
-你没事吧 -闭嘴
- You okay? - Shut up.
你们还在这里干什么
What are you guys still doing here?
不是该去城里了吗
Shouldn't you be downtown?
没错
Yeah, you're right.
我给她发条短♥信♥ 看看怎么回事
I should text her, see what's up.
好了准备好了吗
Okay. Ready up there?
好了有地方能使上劲推吗
Yeah. You got room to push?
有
I think so.
天呐
Jesus.
好了小詹快我们去搭轻轨
All right, Xan, come on. We gotta take the El.
塔米怎么了
What happened to Tami?
她有点事先走了
She has to bail.
就说了这么一句吗
That all she said?
她有点事先走了
She gotta bail?
没说细节没加表情
No text, no emoji,
-没说抱歉 -是啊怎么了吗
- no sorry? - Yeah. So?
她今早匆匆忙忙就走了
So she flew out of here this morning
现在跟你发爽约短♥信♥ 连表情都没加
and now you're getting non-emoji cancellation texts?
-你要被甩了孩子 -得了吧
- You're getting the D, son. - Oh, come on.
谁都有权利先走好吗
People are allowed to bail, all right?
有事缠身短♥信♥很短
Stuff comes up. Texts are short.
随你怎么想你开心就好兄弟
Uh-huh. Whatever helps you sleep at night, pal.
她说得对情况确实不太好
She's right. It's not looking good for you.
好了快走小詹
All right. Come on, Xan.
推
Push!
是吗我辞职
Oh, yeah? Well, I quit!
你在生产线上工作过吗卡尔
You ever worked on the line, Carl?
厨房♥吗
In the kitchen?
好吧我问你个问题
Okay, let me ask you this.
你劳动节能上班吗
Can you work Labor Day?
可以吧
I guess.
拿条围裙来
Grab an apron.
折磨危地马拉难民的是双胞胎
The twins tortured the Guatemalan refugees,
又不是我
not me.
所以整件事都很扯淡
That's why this whole thing is bullshit.
我老婆说什么
Now my wife's like,
"我们不能再生孩子了
"We can't bring babies into the world,
要是再有孩子双胞胎会杀了他们的"
because if we do, our daughters will kill them."
可我的阴囊又做错了什么
Well, why is that my scrotum's fault,
她就不能吃点避孕药吗
and why can't she just take the pill,
像其他女人那样
like other women?
让她吃几个小药片就把她逼疯了
Why is it so much worse for her to take a tiny little pill
相比之下我呢
that makes her "crazy" than it is for me
我可是睾丸都要被切除了
to get my testicle lobbed off?
你的睾丸不会被切除先生
Your testicle will not be "lobbed off," sir.
只会把你的输精管堵上
Only your vas deferens tubes are blocked.
都是扯淡
Oh, it's bullshit.
这个输精管切除术我认为就是扯淡
I'm calling bullshit on vasectomies.
到此为止吧输精管切除术
Time's up, vasectomies.
等等等等那是什么
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is that?
针头
Needle.
要先进行局部麻醉
Local anesthesia.
好多给我来点这个
Oh, good. I'ma need a lot of that.
加大剂量谢谢你
Uh, lots extra, please.
腰部以下我不想有任何知觉
I don't want to feel anything from my waist down.
好
Yeah.
好了我的预测诊断是什么
All right. So what's my prognosis?
预测诊断
The prognosis?
我会维持"剧痛"状态多久
How long am I gonna be in extraordinary pain?
最多一到两天
Oh, uh, day or two at the most.
我们已经让药房♥给你配了维柯丁
We've already called in a Vicodin prescription to your pharmacy,
有需要可以服用
so take that as needed.
好了
All right.
下面有知觉吗
You feel anything down here?