无耻家庭

Shameless S09E11

Part 6 Jan. 6, 2020, 2:35 p.m.

她在勾搭你女友
Uh, she's macking on your girl, huh?
你怎么能让儿童与家庭服务部的人进来
Why the hell'd you let DCFS in here?
抱歉
I'm sorry.
我不知道那人是谁我不
I had no idea who that guy was. I-I didn't--
你以为他是谁
Who the fuck did you think that was?
他打着领带拿着笔记板
He's wearing a tie and he's got a fucking clipboard.
我当时在睡觉我又不会读心术
I was asleep! I'm not a fucking mind reader.
你怎么不告诉我他们会来
Why didn't you tell me they were coming?
-我怎么没告诉你 -是的
- Why didn't I tell you? - Yes.
也许我要是知道儿童与家庭服务部的人要来
Maybe if I'd known DCFS was dropping by--
老天你知道
Jesus Christ. Do you have any idea
你把我坑得有多惨吗
how much you fucked this up for me?
这不是我的错
This is not my fault.
家庭服务部的人又不是我请来的
I did not invite DCFS here.
我也没在家里放一个火炉
I did not leave a--a furnace in the house...
没把孩子们留在婴儿床里
...Or kids in a Pack 'n Play,
也没在地板上弄出一个洞来
or an open hole in the fucking floor.
是的但你也没帮忙菲奥娜
No, but you sure as shit didn't help, Fiona.
以前的菲奥娜会解决这事的
The old Fiona would've handled this,
会扭转局面会帮我打掩护
would've spun shit, would've covered for me.
那我该怎么做
What was I supposed to do, huh?
给他烤个蛋糕吗
Bake him a fucking cake?
不但我希望你不要在
No, but I expected you to not be drunk
大白天就喝醉
in the middle of the day.
可以吗
How about that, huh?
也许我只是受够了总是扮演
Maybe I'm tired of playing Susie fucking Sunshine
知心大姐你有想过吗
all the time, huh? Think of that?
因为如果我
'Cause if I want to be
想在大白天喝醉
drunk in the middle of the fucking day,
那也是我的事
that is my fucking business.
今天很荣幸能再次请到卡米拉
We are very lucky to have Camilla back with us today...
为什么不能看比赛这节目烂死了
Why can't we watch the game? This sucks.
凯文呢
Where's Kevin?
小凯今天做了输精管切除
Kev had a vasectomy today.
可怜的家伙
Poor bastard.
我人生中最黑暗的一天
Worst day of my life.
我知道但是是时候了
I know, but it was time,
现在圣地亚哥走了当然
with Santiago, and, of course,
我也告诉他是时候了
me telling him it was time.
他们告诫了他可能会瘀血吗
They warn him about the pooling?
-你下面也有过淤血吗 -可不是吗
- You had blood pooling, too? - Ah.
他们只能像杀猪一样给我下面放血
They had to drain me like a pig down there.
你得对这老家伙好点小维
You have to be nice to the old boy, V.
他那下面正经历着真正的折磨
He's going through some serious torture down there.
艾莱柏酒吧
Alibi.
你是哪位
The who?
重新约什么时间
Reschedule what?
你这话什么意思他没做
What do you mean, he didn't have it?
他现在正在家里恢复啊
He's at home right now, recovering.
他说疼痛等级达到了十...
He said his pain level's a te--
我是塔米请留言
Hey, it's Tami. Leave a message.
塔米
Hey, Tami, um,
是我
it's me. Uh...
你看我估计你
Look, I'm--I'm sure you're--
很快就要下班了
you're probably getting off work soon.
我要去参加个戒酒互助会
I'm about to hit a meeting,
怎么说呢因为我现在
you know, 'cause I, uh--
我需要去互助会
I need a meeting.
其实我这一整天都糟透了
Actually, I had a-- a pretty shitty day,
说真的
to be honest.
给我回电♥话♥ 好吗
Yeah, just call me back, all right?
谢了
Thanks.
我回来了
Hello, I'm home.
卡尔我们在这边
Hey, Carl, we're in here.
我们在厨房♥里
We're in the kitchen!
大家伙儿我们买♥♥了玛芬蛋糕
We got muffins, y'all!
玛芬玛芬玛芬
Muffins! Muffins! Muffins!
笑死我了
The best.
卡尔你姐姐太有意思了
Carl, your sister is so fucking funny.
什么这么好笑
What's so funny?
是个当事人才明白的笑话你不会懂的
Oh, it's an inside joke. You wouldn't get it.
是个玛芬广♥告♥
It's a muffin commercial.
你知道那个玛芬广♥告♥里的胖子吧
You know the fat guy from the muffin commercial?
"大家伙儿我们买♥♥了玛芬蛋糕"
"We got muffins, y'all!"
别说了
Stop.
我要上楼一趟穿衣服
I'm gonna run up and get dressed.
小黛我能借件衣服穿吗
D, can I borrow something to wear?
当然了妹子随便拿
Of course, girl. Take whatever.
你想跟我喝一瓶
Do you want to split another with me,
还是等你回来再开一瓶
or you want your own when you're back?
跟你喝一瓶
Split with you.
我马上回来炸锅小弟
Be right back, fry guy.
我真为你骄傲
I'm so proud of you.
你以为你♥他♥妈♥干什么呢
The fuck you think you're doing?
往饼干上涂花生酱
Putting peanut butter on a Ritz.
不我说凯莉你为什么要跟她勾搭
No, with Kelly. Why you trying to get with her?
-什么 -别装了
- What? - Stop fronting.
我没装
I'm not fronting.
我只是跟她处得来
Her and I just get along good.
我不该跟我弟弟的女友处得来吗
Aren't I supposed to get along well
如果她这么棒的话
with my brother's girlfriend if she's awesome?
不她再棒也是我的不是你的
No, she's my awesome, not your awesome.
她不是蕾丝笨蛋
She's not a lesbian, dumbass.
没错她不是同性恋
Exactly. She's not gay.
虽然她是那种有可能
Although she is the kind of girl
年纪大一点才出柜的姑娘
who could come out later in life.
我感觉到的不完全是拉拉的气场
I'm not getting total gay vibes,
但并不确定所以我觉得没错
but it's inconclusive, so...I'd say yeah,
她很可能最终变成同性恋
she'll probably eventually end up gay.
你就别闹了我说真的
Just knock it off. I mean it.
我和你女朋友之间没什么
There's nothing going on between me and your girlfriend.
冷静点卡尔
Keep your blouse on, Carl.
你们知道利普去哪了吗
You guys know where, uh, Lip went?
不知道
No.
他不接电♥话♥
Well, he's not answering his phone.
我得找到他
I gotta find him.
小詹你知道利普可能会在哪吗
Hey, Xan, do you know where Lip might be?
可能会在店里
Maybe the shop?
好的谢了
All right, thanks.
-米基 -怎么了弗兰克
- Hey, Mikey. - Yeah, Frank?
无论终极挑战是什么哥们
No matter what the final challenge is, buddy,
我只想让你知道
I-I just want you to know
与你共事很愉快
you've been a pleasure to work with.
我们是没有血缘关系的流浪兄弟
You're a hobo from another mother.
多谢你这么说谢谢你弗兰克
Thanks for that. Thank you, Frank.
我就说不出来这么好听的话
Couldn't have said that better myself.
好了开始吧
All right, let's get started!
从数百名人参赛到几十人竞争
From hundreds of hopefuls to dozens of competitors,
再到八人闯入决赛
to eight finalists
有六位虽败犹荣
to six valiant losers...
流浪疯汉
最后的最后我们剩下两位流浪汉
...And finally, finally, to two final hobos.
我们来到了最后一轮
We've come to the last round,
弗兰克与米基将在这轮中一对一竞争
where Frank and Mikey will compete mano y mano,
但问题是
but the question is,
谁将会戴上流浪疯汉之冠
who will wear the Hobo Loco crown?
-等等 -那就是我
- Hold on. - That'll be me.
那是火车声吗
Was that a train?
我去我讨厌火车
Oh, man, I hate trains.
没错
That's right!
当你想到美国流浪汉的经典形象时