无耻家庭

Shameless S09E07

Part 8 Jan. 6, 2020, 2:30 p.m.

Yeah.
总之
Anyway,
这就是我为什么喜欢做头发
that's what I like about doing hair.
就算换了发型总能长回来
You can change it. Grows back.
头发永远不会是个问题儿童
Hair is never the problem child.
你有工作吗
You got a job?
我修摩托车
I, uh, fix bikes.
在那家"生而自♥由♥"
You know, over at Born Free.
-哦对和布拉德一起 -对
- Mm, that's right, with Brad. - Yeah.
我第一眼以为他肯定是个基佬
You know I totally thought he was gay when I first met him?
事实上我也是
Actually, I did too.
顺便提一句我家族中的所有女性
B-T-dubs, all the women in my family
都在50岁之前死于卵巢癌
die of ovarian cancer by the time they're 50,
所以我大概还能活个25年左右
so I'm only on this Earth for another 25 years or so.
初次约会就知道这个太让人紧张了吧
That's a pretty intense first date factoid.
所以得纵享人生嘛
Well, gotta take life by the balls.
我同意
I agree.
这次想要好好操♥我♥吗
Want to try and fuck me properly this time?
-现在吗 -对
- What, like now? - Yeah.
好啊
Yeah.
去你♥妈♥的♥
干杯
Cheers.
我们做到了
We did it.
干得漂亮
Crushed it.
简直巧夺天工
Such craftsmanship.
要再锦上添"花"吗
Shall we add the cherry on top?
-当然 -准备好电击枪了
- Oh, yeah. - Got the Taser right here.
我有滑轮
I got the pulley.
赞爆了
Fucking A.
搞起来
Let's roll.
有个可乘之机能让你进西点军校
So there's a loophole for West Point.
就在这些小字里
It's there in the fine print.
如果你的学业成绩不达标
If your academics are not up to snuff,
你可以上交一份个人陈述为这辩解
you can submit a personal statement explaining
比如你在学校或家中经历了磨难
that you've had hardships in the classroom or at home.
凯莉我累了
Kelly, I'm tired.
好了你在生活中经历了什么困难
Okay, what's been difficult about your life?
大概讲讲
Just ballpark.
在南区长大艰难吗
Was growing up on the South Side rough?
不这里很棒
No, it's awesome here.
拜托卡尔争取一下我希望你进
Come on, Carl, try. I want you to get in.
-为什么 -我希望我男友能上西点学员
- Why? - Because I want my boyfriend to be West Point, Cadet.
等下我是你男友吗
Wait, I'm your boyfriend?
讨厌
Gross.
是
Yes.
这叫不利童年经历研究
So this is called the Adverse Childhood Experience Study.
回答是或不是就行了
All you have to do is answer yes or no,
你会从你经历的
and you get a point for every fucked-up thing
任何操蛋的事中得到分
that you've lived through.
你成年之前
Before your 18th birthday,
家中是否有父母或其他成年人
did a parent or other adult in the household
经常或总是咒骂你侮辱你
often or very often swear at you, insult you,
贬低你或使你感到屈辱
put you down, or humiliate you?
是的
Yes.
谁啊
Oh, which one?
所有四个
All four.
那能得4分卡尔
That's four points, Carl.
总算有个他能拿高分的测试了
Finally, a test he does well on.
成年之前
Uh, before your 18th birthday,
你是否曾和严重酗酒者
did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker,
或吸毒者住在一起
alcoholic, or used street drugs?
是的而且我自己就滥用和售卖♥♥街头毒品
Yes. Also, I abused and sold street drugs myself.
很好那能得2分
Okay, great. That's two points.
你成年前
Uh, before your 18th birthday,
是否曾因为离婚遗弃或死亡
was a biological parent ever lost to you
而失去亲生父母
through divorce, abandonment, or death?
三项都有
Yeah, all three.
卡尔你经历过巨大的磨难
Carl, you've had tremendous hardships!
我们能把这篇个人陈述写出花来
We-we can write the shit out of this personal essay!
他们会求你去西点的
They're gonna beg you to go to West Point.
我还曾把一只兔子扔进微波炉
Oh, and I also microwaved a bunny once too.
太好了
Excellent.
怎样
So?
就那样
Eh.
"就那样"
"Eh"?
大概
Like, a...
-60分吧 -什么
- six out of ten. - What?
我想知道你怎么给分的
I-I need a breakdown of that scorecard.
我的意思是我哪里做得不够好
I mean, where-where did I lose points on this?
好吧这次不是只会捅
Well, it wasn't jabby,
但基本上你也只是直插♥进♥来而已
per se, but it was fairly thrust-y.
-什么 -直插
- What? - Thrust,
直插直插你得变着角度转动
thrust, thrust. You have to rotate.
好吧但如果我们在一张真正的床上
Yeah, well, I'd do a hell of a lot better
我能表现得好很多
if we were in an actual bed.
这是全美最小的车了吧
I mean, this is, what, the smallest car in America?
我简直要抽筋了
I mean, I'm cramping up.
洞穴人有床吗没有
Did the cavemen have beds? No.
泰山呢
Did Tarzan?
我约会过的那个职业冲浪运动员呢
Did that pro surfer I dated?
好吧这样吧
All right, that's it.
这样吧我们再做一次
That's it. We're going again,
在我拿到满分之前
all right, and I'm not letting you out of this car
你别想离开这辆车
until I get a ten.
这是我的车小流氓
This is my car, punk.
我不介意这得花多久
Hey, I don't care how long this takes.
好吧等你结束了记得把我喊醒
Okay, well, wake me when it's over.
天哪
Oh, God. Oh!
晚上好啊我豪饮睡前酒的兄弟们
Evening, my nightcap-swigging brethren.
来杯杰米酒双份的
I'll take a Jamie, double-double.
多倒点
Heavy, heavy pour.
加冰还是纯的
Rocks or neat?
老天你用这语气说我都不想要了
Well, Jesus, when you say it like that, neither.
你哪根筋不对了
What's wrong with you?
跟他女人闹矛盾
Troubles with the lady.
是吗我也是小凯
Oh, yeah? Me too, Kev.
你什么时候有女人了弗兰克
Since when do you have a lady, Frank?
最近才认识的但我们进展迅速
Well, it's fairly recent, but we're going strong.
她精神病发作得厉害
She does run a bit hot in terms of mental illness,
所以我得出来享受一下独处
so I had to step out, take some me time
等她的火灾危险程度
while she gets her fire danger level
从"灾难性"降到"中低等"
from "Catastrophic" To "Low-moderate,"
不过我靠
but damn...
她的火焰
her blaze
炙热耀眼令我颤抖
is a glorious thing to behold.
你没回答我所以
You didn't answer me, so...
我给你弄了纯的
I made it neat.
上一次见到他这么低落
Haven't seen him like this since that...
还是那支球队输掉那场不知道什么比赛的时候
sports team lost the thing I don't care about.
是啊他还想要个孩子
Yeah, he wants another baby.
但小维拒绝他了
But V said no, shut him down.
小凯我能给你弄个孩子
Hey, Kev, I can get you another baby.
你愿意出多少
What are you willing to spend?
什么
What?
我家总有多余的加拉格成员
There's always an extra Gallagher at my house.
买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥怎么样
Give you two for one.
弗兰克你知道吗
You know what, Frank?
老天我太悲伤了连骂弗兰克都做不到了
God, I'm so sad, I can't even tell off Frank.
你居然回来了
Wow, you actually came back.
什么意思我当然会回来
What do you mean? Of course I came back.
她怎么了
What the hell happened to her?