无耻家庭

Shameless S09E09

Part 8 Jan. 6, 2020, 2:34 p.m.

I just wanted to say that.
-布恩在哪 -睡了
- Where's Boone? - Asleep.
还是伊♥拉♥克♥作息
Still on haji time.
还是算了吧
Yeah, uh... Um, I don't think so.
什么
What?
你跟他做了吗
Did you fuck him?
这重要吗
Does it matter?
重要这个人觉得你会跟他结婚
Yeah, the guy thinks you're marrying him.
所以也许应该对你来说也很重要
So maybe it should matter to you, yeah.
好吧不如你给我列一张清单
Okay, well, why don't you give me a list of things
把很重要的事情列出来我会马上照办
that should matter to me, and I'll get right on it.
不是所有人的处事方式都跟你一样好吗
You know, not everybody rolls with things like you, all right?
好的很高兴你告诉我
Okay. That is good to know.
这个梦想蓝图真漂亮卡尔
That's a beautiful vision board, Carl.
是不是很壮观
Isn't this magnificent?
凯莉
Kelly?
你给我们讲讲怎么样
Why don't you tell us about it?
最底下是凯莉让我意识到的
Well, at the bottom are the hardships
我需要克服的困难
Kelly's helped me realize I need to overcome--
贫穷混♥蛋♥父母监狱
you know, being poor, shitty parents, prison.
最顶上是我克服这些困难的方式
And at the top is how I'm gonna overcome those hardships--
为国征战沙场
by killing for our country.
太棒了
Oh, outstanding.
好了甜心
All right, honey.
不如你跟我们讲讲你的
Why don't you tell us about yours?
垃圾梦想蓝图
Vision boarding sucks.
不难道你没有目标和梦想吗
No, what about your goals and your dreams?
我没有目标也没有梦想
I don't have any goals or dreams.
好吧跟我们说说为什么
All right. Tell us about that.
少校都替我决定好了
The Major always just had them for me.
以班级中最好的成绩毕业
Graduate at the top of your class,
去上一个军事院校成为一名军官
go to a service academy, become an officer,
最后炸断两条腿
get your legs blown off.
-你♥爸♥爸很好了 -我爸爸是个傻♥逼♥
- Your dad's kind of awesome. - My dad is an ass-munch.
从来没有人告诉我该做什么
You know, I've never really had anyone tell me what to do,
但是现在我知道我的天职是
but now I know what my life calling is--
保护我们的国家为自♥由♥而战斗
to protect our country and fight for our freedoms.
如果我只想窝在沙发上变胖跟你生小孩呢
What if my calling is to get fat on a couch and have your babies?
有多胖
How fat are we talking?
你可以做任何你想做的事
You can do whatever you want.
你需要的只是下定决心
You just have to decide.
-走吧 -去哪儿
- Come on. - Where are we going?
这玩意简直是酒中天堂
This stuff is liquid paradise.
你把这一瓶都留在这吧
Hey, why don't you just leave the bottle?
-你要买♥♥一整瓶 -给他吧
- You gonna pay for a bottle? - Just give it to him.
总算能解决这点马尿了
Good riddance to that horse piss.
你就是努比亚女王小维
You're a Nubian queen, V.
不用了先生不要你来封
Uh-uh, no, sir, not from you.
你们找到圣地亚哥的叔叔了吗
You find Santiago's uncle?
找到了找到然后又让他跑了
Oh, yeah, found him and then lost him.
-好了吗 -好了
- Ready? - Yep?
六个孩子
Six kids...
每个孩子要在西北大学读四年
times four years at Northwestern per kid
乘以七万三千一年
times 73,000 a year.
一百七十五万两千美元
One million, seven hundred and fifty-two thousand dollars.
-我♥操♥ 简直蛋疼 -老天啊
- Wow, fuck, that's a kick in the nuts. - Jesus!
"梦碎了吗你就是我们要找的人
"Dreams dead? You're our man.
成为流浪疯汉代言人吧"
Be the Hobo Loco Man."
小凯这是什么
Kev, what is this?
这是流浪疯汉酒箱里的海报
It's one of those flyers from the Hobo Loco box.
"我们正在寻找能够将生活给予的鲜少东西
"We're looking for someone who has perfected the art
充分利用起来
of making the best of what little life has...
之人"
given them."
他们在举办一个比赛
They're holding a competition
来选择流浪疯汉代言人
to choose the Hobo Loco spokesperson.
会和优胜者签一个五万的合同
The winner gets a $50,000 contract
在社交媒体上进行宣传
to be in a social-media campaign.
够一个孩子在西北大学读个半学期了
Well, that'll get one kid half a semester at Northwestern.
你知道有多少人
Do you know how many people
通过社交媒体发了大财吗
have parlayed social media-ness into fame and fortune?
没有
None.
这就是我
This is me.
我就是流浪疯汉代言人
I'm the Hobo Loco Man.
你们果然会操其他人
So you are fucking other people.
现在已经过了十一点
It is now after 2300 hours.
从这一刻起
From this moment on,
你每迟一分钟回家就需要多做
you will owe me 20 push-ups for every minute...
二十个俯卧撑
...that you aren't here.
-怎么回事 -坐下
- Where the hell- - Sit down.
-你要以军衔称呼我 -给我坐下
- You will refer to me by my title! - Sit...down!
这是什么情况
Um, what's happening?
闭嘴我在做梦想蓝图
Shut up. I'm vision-boarding.
我想去海军学院
I want to go to Annapolis.
-真的 -那我建议你...
- I do. - Then I sugge--
但我也要跟卡尔在一起
But I want to be with Carl, too.
我想跟他在一起
I want to hang out
也想偶尔吃反式脂肪
and eat trans fat every once in a while,
或者偶尔逃一两次跑步
maybe skip a run here and there.
我不希望每次背错海军战舰
I want to not do extra crunches
就要被罚多做仰卧起坐
every time I misname a naval vessel.
而且我想称呼你为"爸爸"
And I want to call you "Dad."
我也希望能够有权利
And I want it to be okay if I'm having
过一天你认为不可理喻的生活
what you think is an unacceptable day!
如果你们谁对我的想法有意见
And if either of you have a problem with that,
可以立刻站起来
then you can step the fuck up right now,
当场解决
and let's solve it!
我我没意见
Uh, I'm--I'm good.
我也没意见
I don't have a problem.
好
Okay.
我每周有三次住在加拉格家
And I'll be at the Gallaghers' three nights a week.
不对五次
No. Five.
黛比会收我钱
Debbie's gonna charge me money,
所以我的零花钱需要上涨
so I need a raise in my allowance.
好
Fine.
没问题我同意
Yeah, I'm down with that.
很好卡尔走吧
Okay, then. Carl, let's go.
去他妈的帐篷我们去我房♥间做♥爱♥
Fuck the tent. We're having sex in my room.
卡尔
Carl!
我得走了
I better go.
是啊你去吧
Yeah, I guess you better.
怎么了
我也不知道
有什么事吗
May I help you?
-为什么我的钥匙打不开 -我换了锁
- How come my key doesn't work? - I changed the locks.
你欠我的钱准备好了吗
You have the rest of the cash you owe me yet?
五十一块二十五分不错
Fifty-one twenty-five. Nice job.
等把剩下的18块75补齐就给你钥匙
When you get the other 18.75, I'll get you a key.
-请进圣地亚哥 -他为什么能进
- Come on in, Santiago. - How come he gets to go in?
小凯和V提前付过了
Kev and V paid in advance.
我早知道你是个混♥蛋♥
I knew you were an asshole.
我早就知道
I knew it.
你还说""感受到了对我的责任
And you "Felt a responsibility to me."
是吗
Really?
如果感受到了责任
You don't hurt someone...
你会那样伤害我吗会吗
...you feel responsibility for, do you?
不会
No.
我♥操♥ 这回砸得有点狠啊
Wow, that really took the shit out of that one.
继续
All right.
你是干什么的
What do you do?
天哪
God.
操
Fuck.
有什么事