无耻家庭

Shameless S09E07

Part 6 Jan. 6, 2020, 2:30 p.m.

from the Latin meaning "Two,"
就是说一个你还挺有意思的
meaning half the time, you're kind of interesting,
而另一个你一点意思都没有
and the other half, you're not very interesting at all.
现在这个谈着前男友的你
Right now, talking about your ex-boyfriend,
就不怎么有意思
you-you're not very interesting.
把手♥机♥给我
Give me your phone.
天啊
God.
-这样感觉好点没有 -没有
- Does that feel good or what? - No!
那可是新款iPhone...
That was the new iPhone--
没你事
Nyp.
就这么简单那不是你的问题
That's it. Not your problem.
换个手♥机♥号♥ 这样他就没法联♥系♥你了
Get a new phone number so he can't call you anymore.
去做个好看点的发型
Get a more flattering haircut.
别一天到晚这样愁眉苦脸地晃悠了
Stop walking around like a sorry sack of shit.
结束吧你得做个了断
End this now. You gotta finish it.
-没我事 -赶紧做个了断[我要♥射♥了♥]
- NYP. - Finish it now.
不是我的问题
Not my problem.
谢谢你医生
Thank you, Doctor.
你怎么回事加拉格妞你手♥机♥坏了吗
What the hell, Gallagher? Is your phone broken?
我勒个去你的脸怎么了
Holy shit. What happened to your face?
我没事就是一起小小的肇事逃逸
I'm fine. Just a little hit-and-run.
天啊这看着真...
God, that looks...
惨啊
terrible.
我的大脑好像拒绝接受
Like, my brain is rejecting
原本非常性感的一个姑娘会看起来这么惨
that an otherwise very hot girl can look this bad.
总之我上单车课要迟到了
Anyway, I'm late for my spin class,
你的贝宝转账还没过来姑娘
and your PayPal didn't come through, girl.
是啊我...
Yeah, I--
让我主动来找你可就不太好了
Tacky to make me come find you.
你要卖♥♥掉这房♥子吗
Selling this place?
对抱歉我最近太忙了
Yeah, sorry. I've just been swamped,
昨天又基本是在医院度过的
and I was in the hospital most of the day yesterday--
我懂没关系
Totally get it. No bigs.
现在用贝宝转给我就好
Just PayPal me right now.
我叫"麦克斯惠特福德答硬了"
I'm @maxwhitfordsaysyas.
石更硬
Y-a-s.
你手♥机♥上没有这软件吗
Do you not have the app?
我没有两万五
I don't have the $25K.
你没有两万五
You don't have $25K?
谁会连两万五都没有
Who doesn't have $25K?
我
Me?
好吧拿证券做抵押借一下
All right,so borrow it against your portfolio.
给你的代理人打个电♥话♥
Call your guy.
我没有代理人麦克斯
I don't have a guy, Max,
我去贷款被拒了
and I got rejected for a loan.
我什么都没有
I got nothing.
你的其他财产和投资呢
What about your other properties and investments?
有没有能变卖♥♥的流动资产
Anything liquid you can unload?
你借太多钱了是吗
Oh, you overleveraged?
你跟大家说你会游泳而你现在要淹死了
You told everybody you could swim, and now you're drowning?
对像泰坦尼克号♥一样要沉了
Yeah, going down like the fucking Titanic.
你能不能给谁打个电♥话♥
You got anybody you can call?
舅舅妈妈什么的
Uncle, mom, something?
我不认识有那么多钱的人
Nobody in my life has that kind of money.
所以我才要卖♥♥掉这房♥子
That's why I'm selling this place.
即使能卖♥♥出去
Even if I could,
你也没法在几天内把两万五拿到手
you just--you're not gonna clear 25 large in a couple days.
你想想
Come on,
买♥♥家还得做资产调查
buyer will need to do due diligence and inspections
说不定还会在过户之前打退堂鼓
and probably try to back out at the end of escrow,
或者在最后时刻故意压低价格来搞你
try to fuck you with a lowball offer last-minute.
至少在90天之内你是拿不到现金的
I mean, you're not gonna have cash in hand for at least 90 days.
你的经纪人是谁
Who's your listing agent?
我请不起你麦克斯
I can't afford you, Max.
我可以不收佣金
Maybe I waive my commission for you.
真的吗
You'd do that?
真的
Yeah.
我没你想得那么混♥蛋♥
I am not as big an asshole as you think I am.
来吧
Come on.
给我倒点温热的查德酒我们看看♥房♥♥子吧
Pour me some warm chard and roll out the tour.
我也许能找到几个
I might have a couple possible buyers
愿意速购的买♥♥家
interested in a quick sale.
好吧
Okay.
-我太适合做这个了 -是啊
- My new chosen career. - I know.
-真是世事难料 -我觉得你一定会很擅长的
- You never can tell. - I think you might be really good at it.
你要去"周一聚会"了吗
You headed over to First Monday?
老天啊兰迪
Jesus Christ, Randy!
得给你系个牛颈铃才好
We're gonna have to put a cowbell on you.
小英 "周一聚会" 你没忘吧
Ingy, First Monday. You haven't forgotten, have you?
没有我们没有忘记"周一聚会"
No, no, we have not forgotten First Monday.
我们会到场的我和弗兰克
We're gonna definitely be there--Frank and I.
我们一定会去 "周一聚会"的
Bet your ass we're gonna be at...First Monday.
很好到时候见
Good. We'll see you there.
第一什么
First what?
这里的所有心理医生
Oh, all the therapists in this building
每个月的第一个周一有个聚会
get together on the first Monday of every month.
一般是
It's usually, uh,
某个人的生日或者...
somebody's birthday or...
用不了多长时间我们露个面就行
You know, it'll be quick. We'll just make an appearance.
操♥你♥妈♥的
Motherfucker!
怎么了发生了什么
What? What happ--what?
你没事吧
Are you all right?
没事钥匙卡住了
Yeah, lock got stuck.
所以我有点烦躁准备好了吗
I just got frustrated. You ready?
"捅王" 你好啊
Jabby! Hey!
我还盼着今天能见到你
I was hoping you'd be here.
最近我的性生活十分不错
I've been having a lot of really great sex recently.
我们去打一炮吧
Let's go bang one out,
拉低一下我性生活的平均值好吗
get my average back in the shitter, where it belongs.
好啊我的鞋子上再来点呕吐物也不错
Yeah, you know, I could use some fresh puke on my shoes,
没问题
so that'll be good.
这是哪位
Who's this guy?
詹森这是塔米
Jason, this is Tami.
塔米这是我的朋友詹森
Tami, this is my friend Jason.
利普是我的担♥保♥人
Lip's my sponsor.
担♥保♥人
Sponsor?
在互助会
At, uh, AA.
戒酒互助会
Alcoholics Anonymous.
所以你们在戒酒吗
So you're at this sober?
是的很棒不是吗
Yeah. It's nice, right?
果汁不错
It's good juice.
我混合了苹果和蔓越莓
I mixed apple and cran.
怎么你这是在收集奇葩老铁吗
What, do you collect weird sidekicks?
上一个怎么了那个蓬蓬头女孩呢
What happened to the last one, that little girl with the Afro?
她妈妈把她带走了
Her mother took her back.
是的今天的主题是分离
Yeah, running theme today.
我也失去了我的孩子
Lost my baby too.
好吧
All right.
哪个小朋友
Any of you kids wanna do something fun
想跟塔米阿姨一起玩呀
with your Auntie Tami?
好谁从来没有吸过烟
Okay, well, who's never smoked a cigarette before?
-我 -你没有吗
- Me! - Oh, you haven't?
好吧第一根总是比较艰难
Okay, well, the first one's the hardest,
但你们一定没问题来吧
but you guys are gonna be great. Come on.
跟我来跟塔米阿姨过来
Follow me. Follow your Auntie Tami.
如果时间充裕
Well, if you had the time,
这可以卖♥♥到四十二万五千美元
you could probably get $425K for it.
我也是这么想的
That's what I was thinking.
但过户费可能就得要四万
But it would cost you $40K in closing costs,
而且过户得花120天
plus 120-day escrow,
而你没那么多时间