疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S01E12

Part 7 March 26, 2021, 2:36 p.m.

♪ It's the symbol of human dignity ♪
♪ 这可是人类尊贵的象征 ♪
♪ That separates us from the chimps ♪
♪ 将我们同猩猩区别开来 ♪
♪ Helps you scrub off the sleep ♪
♪ 一觉起来洗刷刷 ♪
♪ And scrub on the day ♪
♪ 白天空闲洗刷刷 ♪
♪ Or scrub off the day, and scrub on the sleep ♪
♪ 下班回家洗刷刷睡觉之前洗刷刷 ♪
♪ Don't know if you're morning or night shower people ♪
♪ 别管你是早洗或晚洗 ♪
♪ Whatever floats your boat ♪
♪ 随你开心就好 ♪
♪ But where are your toddlers gonna float their boats ♪
♪ 但你的宝宝可怎么办 ♪
♪ If all you have is cold H2O? ♪
♪ 如果只能给他冰凉水分子 ♪
♪ That's two parts hydrogen, one part oxygen ♪
♪ 只是2个氢原子加1个氧原子 ♪
♪ And zero parts justice ♪
♪ 毫无正义可言 ♪
♪ Now I know you're thinking ♪
♪ 我知道你在想 ♪
♪ What are you talking about? ♪
♪ 你在讲神马 ♪
♪ Go away, this is private property”♪
♪ 闪开点这里是私人物业 ♪
♪ Well, before we leave, ladies and gents ♪
♪ 离别之际女士们先生们 ♪
♪ Allow me to set the scene: ima... ♪
♪ 请允许我来布设场景设想... ♪
Yeah, I don't live here.
我不在这儿住
Oh.
好吧
♪ Imagine your kids ♪
♪ 设想你的孩子们 ♪
♪ Taking a shower before they go to school ♪
♪ 上学之前去洗澡 ♪
♪ They douse their skin with ice cold water ♪
♪ 他们浸在刺骨的冰水中 ♪
♪ A huge shock to their little systems ♪
♪ 将是他们健康防线的一次重击 ♪
♪ At first it's downright unpleasant, but then ♪
♪ 起初只是小抱怨然后嘞 ♪
♪ It gets them wired in a way they've never felt ♪
♪ 让他们前所未有得(｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ嗨起来 ♪
♪ And they think to themselves, "That shower felt great" ♪
♪ 他们会想冰水浴还蛮赞的 ♪
♪ "Maybe I'll try cocaine" ♪
♪ 或许我该试试可♥卡♥因♥ ♪
♪ So your son's on coke, your daughter's pregnant ♪
♪ 然后你儿就嗑药了你闺女就怀孕了 ♪
♪ And your husband's probably ♪
♪ 你老公就很可能 ♪
♪ Having an affair, apocalypse ♪
♪ 搞婚外情了世界末日就到了 ♪
♪ Just like the movie I Am Legend ♪
♪ 就像电影我是传奇里演的那样 ♪
♪ But not like that at all ♪
♪ 但也不是完全一样 ♪
♪ No hot water ♪
♪ 没有热水哇 ♪
♪ Which means cold showers ♪
♪ 就洗冷水浴 ♪
♪ Next thing you know, your kids will be on crack ♪
♪ 接下来你都知道了你的孩子们会嗑药 ♪
♪ No hot water ♪
♪ 没有热水哇 ♪
♪ Which means cold showers ♪
♪ 就洗冷水浴 ♪
♪ Which everyone knows ♪
♪ 然后大家都知道了 ♪
♪ Is the gateway drug to crack ♪
♪ 这是一条嗑药之路 ♪
♪ Crack, crack, crack ♪
♪ 嗑药嗑药嗑药 ♪
Now, it's not just about the hot water, folks
这不仅仅是有没有热水那么简单乡亲们
If this landlord isn't taking one measly hour
如果房♥东连一小时都抽不出空来
out of his day to fix your showers,
给你们解决洗澡问题
then what's this scumbag doing
那这个王八蛋
with all your hard earned cash?
拿着你们辛苦挣来的钱在干嘛
He's taking it and blowing it
他在挥霍那些钱
In a hand of Pai Gow
在印第安赌场
at the Indian casino.
都赌清光
He's fat-catting it
你们的钱让他能土豪般挥霍
at fancy restaurants like The Olive Garden.
在橄榄花♥园♥那样的高档餐厅里
And Red Lobster.
还有红龙虾高档餐厅
Gasp is right.
拼死一搏是正确的选择
♪ That's gasp with an uppercase “G” ♪
♪ 拼死一搏 ♪
♪ That ends with “P” the first letter in pool ♪
♪ 能让你重获热水 ♪
♪ No hot water ♪
♪ 没有热水哇 ♪
♪ No hot water ♪
♪ 没有热水哇 ♪
♪ Which means cold showers ♪
♪ 就洗冷水浴 ♪
♪ Next thing you know ♪
♪ 接下来你都知道了 ♪
♪ Your kids will be on crack ♪
♪ 你的孩子们会嗑药 ♪
♪ This makes sense ♪
♪ 这完全说得通 ♪
♪ No hot water ♪
♪ 没有热水哇 ♪
♪ Means cold, cold showers ♪
♪ 就洗冷水浴 ♪
♪ And cold showers are the gateway drug to crack ♪
♪ 冷水浴就是一条嗑药之路 ♪
♪ Cold water is drugs ♪
♪ 冷水如毒品 ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ 就酱 ♪
Let's make ourselves a case, folks!
乡亲们我们一起打官司
Can I get one of these?
能给我一份吗
Absolutely, here you go.
那必须可以啊给你
Josh, I got everyone on board.
乔希我已经拉拢了所有人
What do you say?
你呢
Don't let her manipulate you.
别让她控制你
Yeah, you're too smart for this.
是啊你那么机智
Is he?
是吗
Josh and I are gonna spend a lot of time together today.
乔希和我今天要有大把的时间腻在一起
Josh is here.
乔希来了
Oh. Josh is here.
乔希到了
Okay. Here, no, let the girls out.
好那你这不行得亮双胸
There we go.
这才对嘛
Okay, fluff them up.
快抖抖让她们放轻松
Oh, okay. Get-get them up there. Oh, God...
好然后挺胸天哪
See, people think they're fake, but when you get up close,
看大家都觉得你这是假的但是凑近了看
you realize no human could design these.
这双胸根本是鬼斧神工
Oh, thank you.
谢谢
People think they're fake?
大家觉得我是假胸
Gym business.
我有事找人
Ah. White Joshua, I just wanted to inform you
白·乔希我只是想来告诉你
that I am not going to be training with you anymore.
我不会再跟你锻炼了
In the future,
以后
my fitness will be coming here,
我的健身课要在这里上
courtesy of the cardio mambo class.
上曼波有氧课
Here, we leave our sneakers and our assumptions by the door.
在这儿我们把一切假设和运动鞋都放在一边
Well, near the door.
门的一边吧
In the little cubbies.
在小隔间里
Cool, cool, cool.
酷酷酷
No better way to prove to yourself you're straight
没有比光脚的曼波有氧课更好证明
than a barefoot, cardio mambo class.
你是直男的方法了
Nothing to prove.
没想要证明什么
Tanya, want to stretch?
坦尼娅要拉伸吗
Last time, guys.
最后一遍大家动起来
Right.
就这样
Getting sweaty, guys.
让我看到你们大汗淋漓
And squeeze.
下蹲
Squeeze, and squeeze, and hop.
深蹲再深蹲跳
And... squeeze.
下蹲
And squeeze, again.
深蹲再来一次
Big finish.
结束了
Now, pose.
现在姿势摆起来
Oh, my God, could I be...
天哪难道我是...
Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
再见拜拜
You're bi, Darryl.
你是双性恋达里尔
What?
什么
I said, yerba mate tea. Mmm, I want one.
我说我想来杯巴拉圭茶
Oh, my gosh, you can draw that upside down?
我的天你可以颠倒着画
Isn't that weird?
是不是很不可思议
That's like really good. I'm likeI'm like amazing.
画得挺好的我这也算绝活了
Oh, thank you very much Oh.
非常感谢
Josh, would you like flat or bubbles?
乔希你喝淡水还是汽水
Oh, uh, no bubbles.
千万不能喝汽水
Uh, they give me dem burps.
那会让我不停打嗝
Anyway, we should get, um, back to the zoning ordinances.
话说回来我们应该回到那些地域条例上来
So, uh, the next thing to do
所以接下来要做的
is file this paperwork with the city.
把这个城市的那些文件整理一下
But more importantly, we have to decide what
但更重要的事我们必须决定
we're eating for dinner tonight. I'm starving.
今天晚上我们吃什么我都饿了
All right, let's see...
那我们看看吧
So, yesterday we had Middle Eastern,
昨天我们吃了中东菜
this morning we had Boba delivered...
今天早晨吃的波霸外卖♥♥
I liked that a lot...
我挺喜欢吃的
And then we had Ethiopian...
然后我们吃了埃塞俄比亚菜
Yeah, this case is gonna make us very...
这个案子会让咱俩的联♥系♥更
well-rounded.
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