疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S01E14

Part 7 March 26, 2021, 2:37 p.m.

Not the buff Madonna.
不是那个黄头发的麦当娜
♪ I try to be good to others ♪
♪ 我试图待人和善 ♪
♪ Treat my fellow men like brothers and sisters ♪
♪ 待我的同胞们情同手足 ♪
♪ That's the story I'm the hero in ♪
♪ 在故事里我是受人追捧的英雄 ♪
♪ So how come I can't zero in ♪
♪ 为什么现在却孤身一人 ♪
♪ On why this song sounds so sinister? ♪
♪ 又为何这首歌♥听着如此邪恶 ♪
Oh, my God.
我天呢
♪ I'm the villain in my own story ♪
♪ 我就是童话故事里的大反派 ♪
♪ I'm the witch in my own tale ♪
♪ 我就是童话故事里的巫婆 ♪
♪ Though I insist I'm the protagonist ♪
♪ 尽管坚持我才是主人公 ♪
♪ It's clear that my soul is up for sale ♪
♪ 我的灵魂依旧是待价而沽 ♪
♪ I'm the villain in my own story ♪
♪ 我就是童话故事里的大反派 ♪
♪ The bad guy in my TV show ♪
♪ 我就是美剧里的大奸角 ♪
♪ I'm the “who” in the whodunit ♪
♪ 我就是侦探小说里的神秘凶手 ♪
♪ When I go to hell I'll run it ♪
♪ 当我死后到了十八层地狱 ♪
♪ As Satan's CFO ♪
♪ 都会成为撒旦的财务总监 ♪
He needs someone to do the books.
他总需要有人管钱吧
Actually I shouldn't do that.
事实上我不该当财务总监呢
I'm terrible with money.
我不太会管钱呢
♪ But wait ♪
♪ 等等 ♪
♪ How am I a villain? ♪
♪ 我怎会是个反派 ♪
♪ I give annually to UNICEF ♪
♪ 我会捐款去联♥合♥国♥儿童基金会 ♪
♪ And just last week I helped a lady cross the street ♪
♪ 而我上礼拜才扶个又老又聋 ♪
♪ Who was super old and deaf ♪
♪ 我老太婆过马路呢 ♪
Wait, where am I?
等等我特么在哪儿呢
Aah, a bird!
吓屎宝宝了有只鸟
♪ I'm the villain in my own story ♪
♪ 我就是童话故事里的大反派 ♪
♪ I'm the bitch in the corner of the poster ♪
♪ 我就是海报中在角落的婊♥子♥ ♪
♪ I'm the figure in the doorway ♪
♪ 我就是放在门口驱邪的公仔 ♪
♪ Or the Kraken up in Norway ♪
♪ 我就是来自挪威的北海巨妖 ♪
♪ God, who is this song's composer? ♪
♪ 天呐是谁在给这首歌♥谱曲 ♪
It's, like, ridiculously sinister.
听上去又荒谬又阴险
Like, ri-dunk-culously sinister.
没错就是又荒诞又阴险
Well, well, well.
不错好极了
Looks like I've got you now, Valencia!
看来我还是抓到你了瓦伦西亚
What do you want to do with me, you evil witch queen?
你想对我做什么你这个邪恶的老巫婆
I am but a humble yoga instructor.
我只不过是个小小的瑜伽老师
Oh, what I want is... your boyfriend!
我要的就是你男人啊
Not Prince Josh!
别抓我的乔希王子啊
Anything but Prince Josh!
除了乔希王子什么都可以
Why are you doing this?
你为什么要这么做呢
I'm Kate Hudson.
我是凯特哈德森呢
We're doing the witch and the princess thing.
我们在演巫婆和公主好么
Okay? Just go with it.
能不能专业点儿
Okay, so, fine, I'm the princess.
酱好叻我就是公主了
Why, why are you doing this to me?
你为什么要这么对我
Because I'm jealous of you and your life!
因为我羡慕嫉妒恨啊你生活的那么美好
You're so skinny and Josh is so perfect!
你是如此苗条而乔希又那么完美
And I want to take it all for myself!
我想要把一切都占为己有
No. And now,
不可以现在呢
I'll cook you into the traditional dish of dinuguan,
我就要把你做成一道传统的美味大餐
and serve it to Josh's family!
然后呈给乔希的家人品尝
No!
不要啊
No! No!
救命啊
Hey, shut up!
喂闭上你的鸟嘴
♪ I'm the villain in my own story ♪
♪ 我就是童话故事里的大反派 ♪
♪ My actions have gone way too far ♪
♪ 我的所作所为已经太过火了 ♪
♪ I told myself that I was Jasmine ♪
♪ 我以为自己是阿♥拉♥丁里的茉莉公主 ♪
♪ But I realize now I'm Jafar ♪
♪ 但原来我只是阿♥拉♥丁里的邪恶巫师 ♪
♪ We're told love conquers all ♪
♪ 世人说真爱能胜过一切艰难险阻 ♪
♪ But that only applies to the hero ♪
♪ 但完美结局只会在英雄身上发生 ♪
♪ Is the enemy what I'm meant to be ♪
♪ 难道这就是我作为大反派 ♪
♪ Is being the villain ♪
♪ 命中注定的结局 ♪
♪ My destiny? ♪
♪ 这是我的命运吗 ♪
What time is it? What time is it?
现在几点了现在究竟几点了
Where is she?
她人呢
Oh, there she is right there.
她就在那儿呢
Okay.
来了
Tell me you didn't do it.
告诉我你没有阻止他
Please tell me you're still going to Hawaii.
你还是要去夏威夷的吧
And the moment we've all been waiting for,
现在大家期待地万众瞩目的时刻终于到了
the woman of the hour,
我们的风云女性
Rebecca Bunch.
瑞贝卡·宾治
Okay, that's it.
好吧说吧
What's going on? With what?
你到底怎么了你指什么
Look, I'm not stupid.
我又不傻
I think you're mad at me.
我觉得你是在生我的气
Yeah, 'cause you're so smart.
没错因为你真是聪明到了极致
Okay, but what did I do?
这我承认但我究竟做了什么惹你生气
You broke my heart,
你伤透了我的心
you dumb idiot jerkface!
你这个混球傻♥逼♥
Okay, I probably shouldn't dwell on particulars,
好吧也许我确实不应该执着于细节上
but you broke up with me.
但是你跟我提的分手啊
You told me to run after Rebecca.
也是你跟我说让我去追瑞贝卡的
You did a whole song and dance.
都是你一手策划的啊
That was a test, you moron.
那只是对你的考验你这傻♥逼♥
And you were supposed to say,
你本应该说
Oh, no.That's ridiculous.
不那太荒唐了
“I couldn't possibly be with her,
我怎么可能跟她在一起
“because I'm dating you and you make me happy.
我已经跟你谈恋爱了而且你是我幸福的源泉
And you're really hot.”
最重要的是你那么正
Oh, a test.
原来是个考验
God, I always fail the tests.
我的天哪我怎么老是在这些考验里翻船
I'm a jerk.
我真是个混♥蛋♥
Look.
听着
The mature rational side of me
我心中的理性成熟小天使告诉我
knows that you're not a jerk.
你不是混♥蛋♥
You just don't feel the same way about me
你只是对我的感觉
that I do about you.
和我对你的感觉不同罢了
But, so the emotional side of me
但是小魔鬼又说
wants to spear you through the eye with this dart.
她多想把飞镖插到你的眼珠子里
Okay, I see.
好吧我明白了
What... can I do?
那我... 能做些什么
What would make this better?
来弥补这一切
You are just gonna have to live with the uncertainty.
恐怕你无法摆脱我情绪的不确定性了
'Cause I'm gonna be sad and angry,
因为我的难过和愤怒挡也挡不住
and you're just gonna have to live with it.
你就自求多福吧
Because I'm not quitting this job.
而且我也不打算辞掉这份工作
Not this time.
至少这次不会
'Cause I love it
我还挺喜欢的
and I'm, like, really good at it.
而且瞎子都看得出来我多么擅长这份工作
You're...
你
Yeah, you are.
没错你确实擅长
Heather, I'm sorry. I messed up.
希瑟我真的很抱歉我搞砸了一切
Yeah.
是的
But... that's like what you do.
但这确实是你做事的风格
Everyone, let's get a round of applause for our hero,
各位让我们以热烈的掌声有请我们的英雄
the most wonderful woman in West Covina,
西柯维纳的超凡杰出女性
Rebecca Bunch!
瑞贝卡·宾治
She is a true inspiration
她是我们的精神领袖
and the champion of our community.
也是捍卫我们社区的勇士
Sir, everything's going, um, wobbly.
先生怎么眼前地动山摇的
Excuse me?
你说什么
I think my life is a giant turd.
我觉得我的人生就是一坨屎
What?
什么
He doesn't love me.
他不爱我
He doesn't love me.
他根本就不爱我
I'm broke, I'm broke. I hate my life.
我破产了我破产了我讨厌我的生活
I'm the villain. I hate my life.
我是个大反派我讨厌我的生活
I'm the villain. I'm broke.
我是个大反派我破产了