疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S01E08

Part 2 March 26, 2021, 2:35 p.m.

♪ I'm just stating it as fact ♪
♪ 我只是在陈述事实 ♪
♪ I see your eczema is back ♪
♪ 我看到你的湿疹复发了 ♪
♪ are you using the lotion that I sent you? ♪
♪ 你有用我送你的护肤液吗 ♪
♪ If you're not gonna use it, I'll return it to the store ♪
♪ 要是你不打算用我就去退货 ♪
♪ God, I give you everything ♪
♪ 神啊我把一切都给了你 ♪
♪ and still you just want more, ♪
♪ 可你却仍不知感恩索求更多 ♪
♪ more, more, more, more ♪
♪ 更多更多更多 ♪
♪ where's the bathroom? Where's the bathroom? ♪
♪ 洗手间在哪洗手间在哪 ♪
♪ You haven't told me where your bathroom is ♪
♪ 你还没告诉我你家洗手间在哪 ♪
It's upstairs.
就在楼上
♪ Okay, fine, I need the walk ♪
♪ 好吧老娘得爬上去了 ♪
♪ well, your house is dot, dot, dot charming ♪
♪ 嗯你家是挺挺挺不错的 ♪
♪ though some florals wouldn't kill you ♪
♪ 修饰一下你家不会死吧 ♪
♪ do you ever get a maid here? ♪
♪ 到底你家有没有女仆啊 ♪
♪ It's so nice to sit and talk ♪
♪ 能这样坐着说话真好 ♪
♪ since when do you have a vendetta against vases? ♪
♪ 你什么时候开始讨厌花瓶了 ♪
♪ When did you stop wearing makeup? ♪
♪ 你什么时候开始不化妆了 ♪
♪ Are you sure that you're not gay? ♪
♪ 你确定你不是弯的吗 ♪
♪ I'd still love you if you were gay ♪
♪ 就算你是弯的我也照样喜欢你 ♪
♪ it would explain this vase vendetta ♪
♪ 这样就说得通你仇视花瓶这事了 ♪
♪ please just tell me if you're gay ♪
♪ 若你是弯的请直接告诉我 ♪
Again, I am not gay!
再说一次我是直的
♪ Don't interrupt me ♪
♪ 别打断我 ♪
♪ you're always with the talking ♪
♪ 你总有话说 ♪
♪ I just got off a plane ♪
♪ 老娘刚下飞机 ♪
♪ give me a moment to catch my breath ♪
♪ 先让老娘喘口气 ♪
♪ it's the least you can do ♪
♪ 鉴于你在老娘肚子里 ♪
♪ since you lived inside me ♪
♪ 待了九个月 ♪
♪ for nine months, and you still ♪
♪ 至少这点事你能做到吧 ♪
♪ haven't told me ♪
♪ 你还是没告诉我 ♪
♪ where the hell your stupid bathroom is ♪
♪ 那万恶的洗手间在哪 ♪
Again, it's upstairs!
再说一遍在楼上
Oh, right. Thank you.
好吧谢谢
♪ You call that a bathroom? ♪
♪ 你称之为洗手间吗 ♪
♪ That's what passes for a bathroom? ♪
♪ 那简直是冒牌洗手间 ♪
♪ There were no bowls of rocks ♪
♪ 没有装饰用的小石碗 ♪
♪ or any decorative soaps ♪
♪ 也没有装饰用的肥皂 ♪
♪ you don't even have a bath mat, ♪
♪ 你甚至连个防滑垫都没有 ♪
♪ who doesn't have a bath mat?♪
♪ 这年头谁没有浴室防滑垫吗 ♪
♪ If you need a bath mat, I can... oh ♪
♪ 若是你需要我可以 ♪
♪ did you hear? A bishop in Wisconsin ♪
♪ 你听到了吗威斯康辛州的主教 ♪
♪ said something anti-semitic ♪
♪ 说了一些反犹太人的言论 ♪
♪ so the temple has decided ♪
♪ 所以修道院决定 ♪
♪ to boycott cheddar cheese ♪
♪ 抵♥制♥切达干酪 ♪
♪ everyone asks how you're doing ♪
♪ 所有人都问你怎样 ♪
♪ "how is wittle Becky? Is she still a big-shot lawyer?" ♪
♪ 小贝贝怎样了她还是大牌律师吗 ♪
♪ and to that I just say, "please" ♪
♪ 对此我只能说呵呵 ♪
♪ you won't get a husband this way ♪
♪ 你这样是嫁不出去的 ♪
♪ at least you have your career ♪
♪ 但至少你还有事业 ♪
♪ oh, wait, you threw out your career ♪
♪ 不对你放弃了你的事业 ♪
♪ to chase this California dream ♪
♪ 来追神马加州梦 ♪
♪ I wasted all that dough on Harvard and Yale ♪
♪ 我花在哈佛和耶鲁的银子不是 ♪
♪ for you to be ♪
♪ 为了让你 ♪
♪ living in a dump in nowhere, USA ♪
♪ 在美国住在现在这个破地方的 ♪
♪ getting fatter by the minute on this greasy goyish food ♪
♪ 或让你吃分分钟变胖的油炸膨化食品 ♪
♪ just put my luggage in my room ♪
♪ 把老娘的行李箱放你房♥间里 ♪
♪ could I get a glass of water? ♪
♪ 给老娘倒杯水 ♪
♪ I'll be back in a moment ♪
♪ 一会就回来 ♪
♪ I need to use the bathroom ♪
♪ 老娘得再去一下 ♪
♪ again! ♪
♪ 洗手间 ♪
It's so hot in California right now.
现在加洲真的很热
I can tolerate the Christmas crap when there's snow
当满地都是雪寒气逼人的时候
on the ground, a nip in the air.
我能容忍♥糟透的圣诞节
You know, your frenemy, Audra Levine,
你知道吗你的仇敌奥德拉·莱文
she just bought a country house upstate.
她刚在北部乡下买♥♥了套房♥子
It is so cozy.
相当棒
Now, she knows how to do winter.
现在她知道怎么过冬了
You know, mom, I know this place is different,
你知道吗妈妈我知道这里有点不同
but once you get to know it,
当时一旦你了解了它
I think you're really gonna like it.
我觉得你真的会喜欢它
For the life of me, honey,
为了我的生活亲爱的
I don't understand why you moved here.
我不知道你为什么搬到这儿来
Do you have one good reason?
你有好的理由吗
What is so good about California?
加洲有什么好的
You know, mom, it's not very nice to, like,
你知道吗妈妈这不是太好比如
blow in here with a bunch of criticisms.
带着一大堆的批评来这儿
Okay, okay. I'm exhausted.
好了好了我累了
Yeah, why are you going to sleep right now?
嗯为什么你现在要去睡觉了
It's still light out. In New York,
现在还是白天在纽约
it's way past my bedtime. I already took my sleeping pill.
已经过了我的睡觉时间了我已经吃了我的安♥眠♥药♥了
For once,
仅此一次
put yourself in my shoes.
设身处地为我想想
The mall's about to close.
要关店咯
I just need to grab something for two kids who are either six
我只需要给孩子买♥♥点东西大概六七岁的样子
or, uh... maybe they're 15?
或者可能15了吧
You are a terrible father.
你是个糟糕的父亲
Hey, I know you.
嘿我认识你
You're Rebecca's neighbor, right?
你是瑞贝卡的邻居对吧
I met you at her party. Oh. You got really drunk,
我在她派对上见过你噢你喝醉了
and then you slow-danced with that giant fish.
然后跟那只巨大的鱼跳舞
Oh.
噢
That didn't happen.
这不科学
No, it did... I have pictures.
不我照了像
I saw you ask it to go home with you.
我还看见你问它要跟你回家不
Does this present say, "our mom sucks,
这玩具能表达到 "我们的老妈都很糟
but I'm gonna try very hard not to hold it against you"?
但是我很努力的不让自己责怪你"
No. It says you're old and still think kids play outside.
不它能表达到的是你老了还觉得孩子会外出玩耍
Right.
好吧
So, do you need a gift for your mom, too?
你需要给你妈妈买♥♥份礼物吗
Uh, no. I'm gonna get her the same gift I get her every year:
噢不我打算每年都送同样的礼物
My presence at her overly lavish Christmas Eve Eve dinner.
出席她过于奢华的圣诞夜前夕的前夕晚餐
Wait. Overly lavish? Big holiday dinner?
等等过于奢华盛大的晚餐
What's the meat sitch? Turkey, ham,
吃什么火鸡啊
roast beef, shrimp, salmon?
烤牛肉虾子三文鱼
Oh, all of it. It's so over the top, it's embarrassing.
噢啥都有多得有点过了太令人尴尬了
Can you bring someone?
你能带人去吗
Okay, just to be clear, I didn't invite you. But...
好了说清楚一点我没有邀请你但是
That's a great idea.
听起来还不错
I'll finally have a witness to the insanity.
终于有人能见证我是怎么精神错乱的
Right. So what's your name?
很好那你叫什么
Okay, mom, this is Whitefeather & Associates.
好了妈妈这是威化特事务所
And yes, those are Christmas decorations.
然后这些是圣诞装饰
Where's the menorah? There's no menorah.
烛台呢这里没有烛台
Good news. I settled the big parking lot case.
好消息我搞定了停车场的案子
All the plaintiffs are getting four dollars.
所有的原告会得到4美元
If they can find their parking receipts.
如果他们能找到收据的话
Good. Hey, it's good.
很好干得不错
Yeah. okay. Thank you.
嗯很好谢谢
He's a good lawyer. Thanks.
他是个不错的律师谢谢
Spoiler alert.
剧透一下
I'm your secret Santa, Bunch. Two pairs of panty hose,
我是你的秘密圣诞老人宾治两双连裤♥袜♥
so I don't have to look at those unshaven stems.
那我就不需要看到你那对不修毛的腿
Creamy...
奶油色的
And sand storm.
沙尘暴
He's joking
他在开玩笑
because I'm known for always wearing panty hose.
因为我经常穿连裤♥袜♥
It's a funny joke.
真是个有趣的笑话
Darryl!
达里尔
Come meet my mother. Hi.
快来见见我妈妈嗨
Look, this is important.
看这很重要