疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S01E02

Part 6 March 26, 2021, 2:33 p.m.

but then they all got jealous
但是他们所有人都嫉妒我
because I got these amazing boobs
因为我的胸太大了
and they were still trolls,
而他们仍然是平胸怪
and so they spread all these rumors that I, like,
然后他们就散布关于我的谣言
slept with the English teacher.
说我和英语老师上♥床♥
No. I know.
不是吧对吧
Which is a total lie,
完全是个谎言
because we only did hand stuff.
因为我们只互相爱抚过而已
And then everyone turned on me,
之后每个人都开始针对我
and since then, I just...
从那以后我就...
I don't get along that well with other girls.
我就无法与其她女孩好好谈心了
Oh, my God, I'm the exact same way.
哦我的天我们完全一样
Yeah?
真的么
I mean, except for the English teacher part.
我是说除了英语老师的部分之外
That'sthat's really cool. Thanks.
这这真的很酷谢谢
Although, um, it...it's really cool,
尽管恩这很酷
but, like, you know, you should have reported that.
但如你所知你应该上报这些事
Did you report it to the appropriate authorities?
你有跟学校报告吗
Nah, it's just hand stuff... It's not a big deal.
算啦又没插♥进♥去... 不算什么啦
Well, I mean, depending on what age you were,
好吧我是说考虑到你当时的年纪
it's technically a little bit of statutory rape.
这严格来说可以算强♥奸♥罪
Eh... But, you know.
但... 你知道
I'll allow it.
本人批准了
But seriously, a judge would not have allowed it.
但说真的法官可能不会同意
He should be in jail.
他应该进监狱
Do you know if he went to jail?
你想看他进监狱吗
Did he do it to other kids?
他对别的孩子也这样吗
Oh, my God, you're amazing, you're so nice.
我的天啊你超棒的你人真好
I thought you just only wanted to do real estate stuff with me,
我还以为你只是想帮我做房♥地♥产♥的事而已
but we're friends.
可我们是朋友
We're friends, right?
我们是朋友对吧
Yeah. Yeah, we're... we're fr...
当然我我们
Yeah, we're friends...
当然我们是朋友
Yeah, we're friends.
我们是朋友
Yeah, 'cause, I mean, like,
当然因为我想说比如
what other agenda could I possibly have?
除此外我还可能有什么日程安排了呢
That is such a weird thing to say.
这说起来还真是一件奇葩的事
I know!
我就知道
Mmm, your tushy's warm.
你屁屁好暖
Thanks.
谢谢夸奖
Valencia and I are basically the same person.
瓦伦西亚和我基本上是同一类人
Oh, she's like me, except for...
她跟我一模一样除了
I don't know what she is... Guatemalan?
我不知道她是哪里的危地马拉人
I don't know, don't quote me on that.
我不知道别用这点来笑我喔
Anyway, between us, it's like we're Siamese souls.
反正我们之间就像灵魂相连一样
Excuse me, just one second.
抱歉等一下下
Now, uh, in case you missed it, that was me vomiting.
以防你不知道我刚刚是在呕吐
No, I got it.
不我懂了
What's wrong with you?
你是怎么了
'Cause, like, I've made a really cool friend.
这感觉就像我交了一个超酷的朋友
She's, like, pretty and nice,
她漂亮人还好
and she knows about, like, a lot of cool things,
她还知道知道很多酷炫的事情
like coconut oil and movies and Vampire Weekends.
像什么椰油啦电影啦吸血鬼周末之类的东西
Like, what's your deal?
你是怎么了
We had a plan... uh, neutralize the enemy, not snuggle it.
我们有计划的啊是要瓦解敌人而非与敌人同盟啊
No, we didn't have a plan.
不我们可没有这样的计划
You had a plan, I'm making a friend.
你有计划我要交朋友
What?! Wow.
神马天啊
Are you jealous?
你是嫉妒吗
I am not jealous.
我才没有呢
I'm not saying this for me, I'm saying this for you,
我不是为我自己这样说的我是为了你
you munchkin dumb-ass.
你这个讨人喜欢的小笨蛋
This is unhealthy.
这样于你不利
Okay, all right.
好吧
You need to take some Motrin or something.
你需要来点布洛芬之类的药了
Oh, you know, I have never met anyone in my life
我长这么大还从没见过
who lies to themselves as much as you do.
像你这样自欺欺人的人
You lie about why you came here,
你隐瞒了来这里的原因
You lie about how you feel about Josh.
你隐瞒了你对乔希的感情
You lie about why you want to become friends with Valencia.
你也隐瞒了要和瓦伦西亚交朋友的原因
Okay, okay, that's enough! God!
好了够了天啊
Let's just do this stupid meeting
我们还是赶紧跟这帮蠢死的客户
with these stupid clients.
开这个蠢死的会吧
Hello, gentlemen.
先生们好
So we heard most of that.
大部分我们都听到了
I'm realizing that now as I see the horrified looks
看到你们脸上 "吓死本宝宝了" 的表情
on your faces.
我就知道了
I'm so sorry.
我很抱歉
Paula and I were just having a little disagreement out there.
宝拉和我只是在外面有点小争执
It has nothing to do with you.
这与你们无关
It will not happen again.
不会再发生了
Let's get down to business,
我们来谈正事吧
shall we?
好吗
You know that was very inappropriate what we overheard.
我们无意听到的那些有些不适当
I understand. One sec...
我明白稍等一下
Going to Spiders.
去蜘蛛酒吧
Which seems to be possessive plural.
看起来她也不会写酒吧的名字
Oh, I'm sorry.
很抱歉
Did I mention that I got Robertson
我有没有提到过我让罗伯森同意
to agree to an arbitration next week?
下周和解呢
I didn't mention that.
我没提到
Should have led with that. Sorry.
应该先说的抱歉
How did you do that?
你怎么做到的
Uh, we've been trying to do that for years.
我们已经努力了好多年了
Actually, I threatened a lawsuit on the grounds
其实我是以他们妨碍经济发展为理由
that they were impeding commercial development,
威胁他们要提起诉讼
and that they would be liable for interest or extra costs.
所以他们将愿意对盈利和花销担负债责
So, news flash... next week, you are going to a hearing
所以新消息你们将在下周参与听审会
that will allow you to... Most likely...
并会让你们得到许可内容大概是
Build the $10 million complex downtown you have always wanted
你们的小心肝里一直希望的
in your little heart of hearts,
在市中心建造价值一千万的建筑许可
and I am going to a super cool nightclub.
同时我将会去一个超酷的夜店
Oh, I got to go get ready.
噢我得先走一步去做准备了
I should buy jewelry, I don't have jewelry.
我该去买♥♥点首饰我还没什么首饰呢
Uh, love your dress.
啊裙子不错
Oh, um, you too, bitches.
哦你的也不赖小婊砸
Do you want to take a selfie?
你想来一起来张自♥拍♥吗
Yeah.
好啊
Okay, all right, one, two, three.
好哒嗯一二三
What?
什么事
Uh, Mom, I stabbed Tommy.
呃妈妈我插了汤米一刀
Uh, kind of.
呃算是吧
Brendan, I told you I had to work late.
布兰登我告诉过你我得工作到很晚的
But, uh, he's sort of bleeding.
但是呃他好像在留血的样子
Okay, you know what, figure it out.
好好好你懂的自行解决吧
Yeah.
棒极了
It's hugging my throat.
这酒在拥抱我的喉咙
Don't you just love her, Joshy?
刚才那一刻你有没有爱上她小乔乔
Don't you just want to put her
你有没有把她涂上巧克力酱后
in a bowl with chocolate sauce and eat her?
放在碗里吃掉她的冲动
Uh, uh, I thought we were off sugar, Valencia.
呃呃我觉得我们该少吃点糖瓦伦西亚
Oh, you're funny.
噢你真有趣
I'm starting to like humor.
我开始变得喜欢幽默了
Come on, dance with me, Joshy.
来吧陪我跳舞小乔乔
I want to see you work that thang.
我想看你跟我跳艳舞
What's up with your resting Maggie Smith face?
你干嘛摆出一幅玛吉·史密斯一样的表情
What?
怎么了
What is this?
这是怎么回事
This? This is called a metallic mini.
这个吗这个叫做金属色迷你裙
No, the thing where you copy another girl's outfit.
不是指这个是说你为什么要模仿另一个女孩的着装