疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S01E18

Part 1 March 26, 2021, 2:39 p.m.

Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"疯狂前女友"前情提要
if you're getting your butterfly smashed, I am all for it.
谁要进你的水帘洞我都没意见
As long as it's not Greg.
只要不是格雷
He is Josh's best friend, okay, and if you sleep
他是乔希好哥儿们你要是乔希的
with Josh's best friend, that ruins any possibility
好哥儿们睡了你俩就彻底玩完了
for when you finally come to your senses and realize
等你清醒过来发现你和乔希才是真爱的时候
that you were meant for Josh.
你后悔都来不及了
Why does Rebecca like him?
为什么瑞贝卡会喜欢他
Why is she all buddy-buddy with him?
她为什么会对格雷那么亲密
He's just a stupid know-it-all.
他就是个狂妄自大的人
You're sleeping with Rebecca.
你们俩滚床单了
All the time. A lot.
一直都是无数次
It's Greg? You're sleeping with Greg?
居然是格雷你居然和他滚床单
How could you?
你怎能和他滚床单
So you're galloping through the forest looking for me,
你策马在丛林中寻觅我
'cause I was stolen by the evil witch,
因为我被邪恶的巫婆带走
and you finally find me in the enchanted woods.
最终你在魔法森林中找到了我
You gasp!
你气喘吁吁
You know, gasp?
你懂吗气喘吁吁
Just go like this.
就这样
This is boring, Rebecca.
好无聊哦瑞贝卡
Why can't we play with my trucks?
为什么不玩我的小汽车
Shh!
闭嘴
Jake, you're not getting this.
杰克你还没听明白
When we see each other, the spell is lifted,
当我们看见对方的时候魔咒就解除了
and a song plays.
这时候音乐响起
I'm thinking that great song
我想用电影""中的
from the movie "Slumbered"
一首歌♥
Do you know it?
你知道吗
It goes like this...
是这么唱的
♪ In one indescribable instant ♪
♪ 在奇妙的一瞬间 ♪
♪ the whole world falls away... ♪
♪ 整个世界不再一样 ♪
No way. I'm not doing this.
没门儿我♥干♥不了这个
What? Come on.
什么别啊
With that attitude,
就你这态度
you're never gonna be anyone's Prince Charming,
你谁的白马王子也当不了
while I'm gonna have a great love story.
而我将拥有一段完美的爱情
Wow. So Paula was pretty pissed when she walked out of here.
宝拉走的时候真是气急败坏啊
Yeah, I don't... I don't know what her problem is.
是啊我不... 我不知道她到底怎么回事
You feeling better, Bunch?
你好点了吗宾治
Yeah.
好多了
Hey, I'm sorry I...
我很抱歉我
ruined your hot date.
毁了你的约会
What? Nah, I left as soon as you texted me.
什么没有啦我一接到你的短♥信♥就走了
Actually, I never wanted to be there to begin with.
其实一开始我就没想去
I should've said that right off the bat.
我早该说出来的
Yeah, you should've.
确实
What about your hot dates next week?
那你下周的约会呢
You have, like, eight.
你不是说有有八个吧
I made those up.
我瞎说的
Those were fake.
都是假的
All eight of them?
全是假的吗
Get out.
滚蛋
It is my turn now.
轮到我了
I have calmed down,
我已经冷静下来了
I am ready to speak to Rebecca,
我准备好和瑞贝卡谈谈了
so get out.
所以你可以滚了
Don't worry.
别急啊
Stepping out.
马上走
I asked you a million times who you were sleeping with,
你问了你那么多次到底和谁瞎搞
and you lied to me.
你竟然骗我
And with Greg Serrano, of all people.
世界上的男人死绝啦非要选格雷·塞拉诺
After everything I've done for your love story,
我为了你能和乔希在一起
to get you together with Josh Chan, and you betray me
付出了那么多你却背叛我
by picking
挑了这么个
sarcastic, alcoholic, unromantic Greg?
毒舌酗酒还不浪漫的格雷
Why are you still here?
你怎么还在这儿啊
What... did you bring her flowers?
啥玩意儿... 你还给她买♥♥花
Um, she's my friend, she's in the hospital.
她是我朋友啊她又住院了
That's what you do.
我不该来看看吗
What is that?
这是什么鬼
You-you bought her a stupid balloon?
你你竟然买♥♥了个弱爆了的气球
No, no. No.
不不不
This balloon is not stupid.
这可不是弱爆了的气球
It's genius.
这时完爆你的气球
The messiah is riding a unicorn over a rainbow.
救世主骑着独角兽在彩虹中漫步
It's like the Turducken of sympathy balloons.
这简直能媲美火鸡慰问气球
What are you even doing here?
你来这儿干嘛呀
I said, I'm-I'm checking up on her.
我说过了我只是来看看她
Dude, I know you two had
哥儿们我知道你俩
a kind of momentary tongue connection,
吻过那么一口
but Rebecca isn't into you anymore.
但瑞贝卡已经不喜欢你了
She's... with me now.
她已经和我在一起了
So maybe you should take those flowers
所以不如你带着这些花回去
back to your girlfriend,
给你那个
who you haven't been able to commit to for over 15 years.
拍了15年拖都不敢结婚的女友吧
Oh, don't turn this around on me.
别想用这个对付我
This is not about me and Valencia.
这跟我和瓦伦西亚没关系
Oh, okay. Sure.
是吗行啊
Fine, you give Rebecca these for me.
随你怎么想吧你帮我把这些花给她
But get used to me being her friend,
但记住我和她是朋友
because Rebecca and I are close.
因为我们俩很亲近
There's nothing you can do about that.
这一点你不能否认
She and I have a history,
我们俩是有段过去的
and whether you're with her or not,
不管你是否和她在一起
we're connected.
我和她都是好朋友
Well, doesn't bother me
我没意见
and I don't care
我也不在乎
and it doesn't bother me,
而且我没意见
also a weird thing to say,
说起来奇怪
and it doesn't bother me.
我就是没意见
Also, circling back, you have a girlfriend.
话说回来你是个有女朋友的人了
Say hi to your very patient girlfriend!
帮我跟你那个等了15年的女友打个招呼啊
Do you have any idea the things that I have done for you?
你知道我为你都付出了些什么吗
I have devoted my life to you.
我尽心尽意地付出
You have no idea
你无法想象
the lengths that I have gone to.
我付出了多少
Take Thanksgiving, for example...
举个例子说吧感恩节
You got me invited to Josh's house, okay.
因为你我被邀请到乔希家过节行了吧
Yes.
是的
How did I do that?
我是怎么做到的呢
How did you just magically
你怎么会在商场
bump into Josh's mother at the market?
莫名其妙地碰见乔希的妈妈呢
I don't know.
我不知道
Rebecca, under Lourdes Chan's car
瑞贝卡在乔希妈的车下面
is a tracking device that is keyed
有一个追踪器这个追踪器是
into a beeper in my desk at the office.
是连接着我办公桌上的传呼机的
I had to smuggle that device in from Armenia.
这玩意儿是我从亚美尼亚偷运过来的
I know where that woman is every hour of every day.
这女人的行踪我了如指掌
Whoa. Yeah.
天哪姐厉害吧
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
这还只是冰山一角
I have done things for you
你根本无法想象
that you can't even imagine,
我为你付出了多少
things that would make your head spin.
讲出来也觉得夸张
And I did it for you.
可我都为你做了
No, no, I didn't ask you to do any of those things.
不不我没让你为我做这些啊
Don't talk... anymore!
闭嘴... 别再说了
Paula? What are you doing?
宝拉你在干吗
Paula, why are you shutting the doctors out?
宝拉你关门干嘛
♪ Time for you to shut up! ♪
♪ 你该闭嘴了 ♪