疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S01E06

Part 4 March 26, 2021, 2:34 p.m.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, that's for Sinatra and Torme.
把爪子拿开这是给辛纳特拉和托姆的
By all means, serve the high-end food to your macaws.
你总是要把这些高档的食物喂给你的鹦鹉啊
It's not enough that you let them crap in the shower.
让它们在浴室里拉粑粑还不够似的
I'm training them.
我在训练它们
Dad, all I'm saying is, if you're gonna go
爸我想说的是你要是
through the trouble to train them,
真有那么多闲功夫训练它们
train them to use the toilet.
就教它们在马桶上拉臭臭
Oh, that's a good idea... they're birds.
这个主意好... 怎么说也是鸟啊
Maybe I should train them to wipe their ass.
说不定还能教它们自己擦屁♥股♥呢
Do you need the oxygen tank?
要你的氧气瓶吗
No, no, no, no. Stop it.
不不不不别这样
Why you bothering me?
你来烦我♥干♥嘛
Isn't there some girl you could be trying to bang?
难道你都没什么可以约炮的姑娘吗
Oh, what about that, that crazy girl you met at the party?
那个那个你在派对上遇见的那个疯婆娘呢
The one from the taco festival?
就是那个玉米卷节上的
Why do I tell you anything?
我为什么要告诉你啊
Oh, right, I was drunk.
噢对喔我喝多了
That girl's not for me, Dad.
她不是我的菜爸
Trust me, Dad, listen. Sure.
相信我爸听着好的
Listen to me.
听我说
There's something I want to talk to you about.
我想跟你谈点事儿
Some, um, changes I want to make.
我想额我想做点改变
Me, too.
我也是
I'm thinking about a third macaw.
我打算再养一只鹦鹉
I'm thinking Bennett for Tony Bennett.
我打算叫他班内特歌♥手托尼·班内特
Oh, so serious.
这么严肃啊
What is it?
到底怎么了
Tell me.
说吧
I'll get the tank.
我去给你拿氧气罐
Yep, yep... ah.
好吧好... 啊
So you want to speak Tagalog,
要想学习菲律宾语
the mother tongue of the Philippines.
也就是菲律宾人的母语
Let's start with "Hello."
让我们先从 "你好" 开始
Mabuhay... say it with me.
Mabuhay... 跟我学
Mabuhay.
Mabuhay
"Nice to meet you."
"很高兴见到你"
Natutwa akong makilala kayo.
Natutwa akong makilala kayo.
Okay, I know I'm forgetting something.
好吧我肯定忘了什么
Whoa! Ooh!
哇天哪
No, okay.
不对
Heya!
嘿呀
Whew, something smells weird in here.
天哪啥味儿啊
Oh, uh, well, it's a Filipino dish
额是菲律宾菜
called Dinuguan...
叫猪血饭
it consists of pork cooked in pork's blood.
就是把猪肉放在猪血里煮
Do you want to try some?
你要尝点吗
Uh, thanks, but I think
谢了但是我
I'm all full up from the wonderful smell.
我闻着这个味儿就饱了
You know what? That's just
你知道
your culturally insensitive taste buds talking.
这只是因为文化差异而已
Okay, I can only stay for a second.
好吧我只能待一会儿
I'm making pies for people that I hate.
我要给我讨厌的人做馅饼
Which is mixed emotions for me, because I like pie.
这让我悲喜交杂因为我很喜欢馅饼
Okay.
好了
As discussed, here it is.
如前所述就是它了
This brooch contains a small video camera and microphone.
这个胸针里有一个小型摄像头和麦克风
It's exactly like the teddy bear nanny cam
这和我们在盖特威克离婚案里用的
that we used in the Gatwick divorce, but with audio.
泰迪熊摄像头一样但这个可以传声
No... So it will transmit everything
不会吧... 所以它可以把你的
you see and hear directly to an app on my phone,
所见所闻直接传到我手♥机♥的软件上
so I will not miss any of your triumph.
这样我就能见证你的成功
This isn't weird, right? Is it weird?
这没有很变♥态♥吧变♥态♥吗
No.
当然不啊
Okay, cool.
好的太棒了
I got to go, but I cannot wait
我要走了但我等不及
to watch you push Valderrama out of the picture.
看你把那个小婊♥子♥踢出局了
♪ I give good parent ♪
♪ 我招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ She gives good parent ♪
♪ 她招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ I give good parent ♪
♪ 我招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ She gives real good parent ♪
♪ 她很招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ I give good parent ♪
♪ 我招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ She gives good parent ♪
♪ 她招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ To parents like me ♪
♪ 招我这样的家长喜欢 ♪
♪ I was born gifted, been blessed ♪
♪ 我天赋异禀福星高照 ♪
♪ Din-din guest for the win... yes ♪
♪ 晚餐的客人中注定我是赢家耶 ♪
♪ When I pull up, gym test ♪
♪ 体育测试时我做引体向上 ♪
♪ Prepare for your parents to be impressed ♪
♪ 等着我把你♥爸♥妈折服吧 ♪
♪ I present proper like a TED talker ♪
♪ 我言谈得体像个演说家 ♪
♪ Got your current chick lookin' like Greg Focker ♪
♪ 让你的现任女友看起来像格雷格·福克 ♪
♪ I'm here to conquer, I've come to slaughter ♪
♪ 我来这儿征服我来这儿屠♥杀♥ ♪
♪ These dads and moms is my sons and daughters ♪
♪ 这些老爸老妈都是我的儿女 ♪
♪ Skilled seductress, I will kill and crush this ♪
♪ 老练的狐狸精我会完爆你 ♪
♪ This is my business and I'm built for success ♪
♪ 这是我的主场我为成功而生 ♪
♪ Expect to witness a familial love fest ♪
♪ 期待见证一个家庭的爱的集♥会♥ ♪
♪ Valencia, you're zip, zilch and bupkis ♪
♪ 瓦伦西亚你没啥用一文不值 ♪
♪ I give good parent ♪
♪ 我招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ She gives good parent ♪
♪ 她招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ I give good parent ♪
♪ 我招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ She gives real good parent ♪
♪ 她很招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ I give good parent ♪
♪ 我招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ She gives good parent ♪
♪ 她招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ To parents like me ♪
♪ 招我这样的家长喜欢 ♪
♪ Brought a nice red, so when I come in the place ♪
♪ 带了瓶好红酒所以当我到这儿的时候 ♪
♪ I already got 'em heated up under the waist ♪
♪ 我已经让他们的身下暖了起来 ♪
♪ Your home's such a beautiful, comfortable space ♪
♪ 你们家真是漂亮又温馨 ♪
♪ Bitches, you two have wonderful taste ♪
♪ 小贱♥人♥ 你们俩的品味还真够好 ♪
♪ Sit down at the table and I'm murdering ♪
♪ 我坐在桌旁而我在旁大杀四方 ♪
♪ Inquiring what line of work they're in ♪
♪ 打听他们干着什么样的工作 ♪
♪ Making faces like I'm crazed erotically ♪
♪ 表情夸张得像个色情狂 ♪
♪ Wait, my uncle is in radiology ♪
♪ 等等我叔叔也在放射科耶 ♪
♪ Every dish is delicious, Michelin Star ♪
♪ 每道菜都很美味简直极上滋味 ♪
♪ Please pass the arroz like I passed the bar ♪
♪ 请递给我米饭就像我通过律师资格考试一样 ♪
♪ An attorney? ♪
♪ 你是律师 ♪
♪ Yale law, Harvard undergrad ♪
♪ 耶鲁法学院哈佛本科生 ♪
♪ Got the Chan fam damp in their underpants ♪
♪ 把陈家人都吓尿了 ♪
♪ Dad tells jokes, I squeal in amusement ♪
♪ 陈爸说笑话我惊声尖笑 ♪
♪ I agree that Neil Diamond is real music ♪
♪ 我同意尼尔·戴蒙德是真正的歌♥手 ♪
♪ Gonna suck up and kiss ass till I have 'em eatin' ♪
♪ 我要溜须拍马承欢献媚直到 ♪
♪ Outta this hand like they're eatin' this what? ♪
♪ 他们完全受我摆布就像他们 ♪
♪ I'm DTF, but understand me ♪
♪ 我就是DTF 但请听我解释 ♪
♪ It means I'm dazzling the family ♪
♪ 我说的意思是我会惊艳全家 ♪
♪ Like an anaconda, bitch, I'm immense ♪
♪像蟒蛇一样婊♥子♥ 我巨大无比 ♪
♪ And you a common wench, so grovel, Valence ♪
♪ 而你只是个乡姑所以卑躬屈膝吧 ♪
♪ Boss-ass bitch, no one's above me ♪
♪ 至尊婊没人能降我 ♪
♪ End of the night, they line up to hug me ♪
♪ 到了最后大家都排着队地拥抱我 ♪
♪ Oh, my gosh, this was so lovely ♪
♪ 天哪太美好了 ♪
♪ To be clear, your parents want to have sex with me ♪
♪ 说真的你♥爸♥妈都想和我做♥爱♥ ♪
♪ I give good parent ♪
♪ 我招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ She gives good parent ♪
♪ 她招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ I give good parent ♪
♪ 我招家长喜欢 ♪
♪ To parents like me. ♪
♪ 招我这样的家长喜欢 ♪
So I open up the chest in the attic,
所以我打开了阁楼上的箱子
and there it is!
然后就是这样了
Let's just say that was one very late library book.
只能说那是一本逾期很久的图书馆的书
Oh, my God, your sisters love that story.
天哪你姐们喜欢这个故事
Yeah, up top, Jayma. Yeah!
耶击个掌杰玛耶
Up top, Jastenity.
击个掌贾斯尼缇
Okay.
好的
My dad never smiles.
我爸爸总是板着脸
You almost got one there.
他几乎是对你笑了下