疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S01E05

Part 5 March 26, 2021, 2:34 p.m.

Oh, good news.
噢好消息
I found a coupon from Blockbuster.
我找到一张百视达的优♥惠♥券
基本已经倒光了
百视达：英国DVD租赁公♥司♥
The Color Purple is now available on laser-disc.
《紫颜色》出光盘了
出片于1985年
《紫颜色》：一部歌♥舞片
Okay, that's strange.
这就奇怪了
Paula, Paula?
宝拉宝拉
I have a weird tampon thing happening.
我的姨妈巾出大事了
Bup, bup, bup! Karen, shut it down.
别别别凯伦闭嘴
Oh, Tim.
噢蒂姆
Hi, Paula.
嗨宝拉
So now you know my name.
现在知道我叫什么了
Interesting.
有意思
Listen, I'm sorry about...
听着我很抱歉
Bup, bup, bup, bup. Did you say "about"
别别别别你刚说 "关于" 吗
or "a-boot"?
还是说 "管鱼"
That's right, Timster.
没错蒂姆鼠
I know the truth.
我知道真♥相♥了
Please, you can't tell anyone.
求你别告诉其他人
Don't tell anyone what?
别告诉别人什么
That you're not an American citizen?
说你不是美国公民
That you've been working in this country illegally
说你一直用一张过期的签证
on an expired visa,
在这个国家非法工作
because you're really Canadian?
因为你其实是加拿大人
Paula, please, I need this job.
宝拉求你了我需要这个工作
I alienated everyone in my firm in Winnipeg.
我在温尼伯的公♥司♥大家都疏远我
Shocking. I came out to L.A. for a convention.
真想不到啊我来洛杉矶时赴约的
I met Darryl at a strip club.
我在一个脱衣俱乐部遇见了达里尔
We would never speak of again.
我们永远不会再提及这件事
I gave him some fake documents
我给了他一些假的文件
and he never noticed!
他都没注意到
You know what?
你知道吗
I saw through that
我一眼就看出了
phony work permit right away.
那个伪造的工作许可证
I've been at the firm ever since,
我从进事务所之后
watching my long Os
就一直注意我的口音
and pretending not to like hockey.
还要假装不喜欢曲棍球
It's been so difficult.
太艰难了
Yeah, no, it sounds harrowing.
是啊太悲惨了
Look, I know you hate me.
听着我知道你不喜欢我
And now you got a reason to get rid of me.
而且现在你也有充足的理由踢掉我
But I am begging you.
但我求你了
Paula, what are you gonna do?
宝拉你要怎么样
I don't know.
我不知道
Because I'm gonna have to talk to Pamela,
因为我要和帕梅拉谈谈
and she is a real bitch.
她是个真正的婊♥子♥
This one is Snail-y Minaj.
这个叫麻辣鸡蜗牛
This one is Snail-or Swift.
这个叫蜗牛·丝薇芙特
And this one is Snail-y Rae Jepsen.
这个叫蜗牛·蕾·吉普森
Maybe you should name one escargot.
你应该起一个叫法国食用蜗牛
I'm sorry.
不好意思
That was... it was a...
那是... 那是个
It was a joke, get it?
那是个笑话懂了吗
You're here to talk about my parents, right?
你是过来谈我父母的对吧
Rebecca, you know what, I'm-I'm not too sure about this.
瑞贝卡我我不是很确定
Look, honey, I just don't want to put you
听着亲爱的你只是不想让你
in the middle of this whole thing...
夹在中间为难
You know, Madison,
你知道吗麦迪逊
I think we can tell the judge what you want.
我觉得我们可以告诉法官你想要的
Oh, that's easy... I want to live with my dad.
这个简单... 我想和我爸住一起
"I want to live with Madison's dad.
"我想和麦迪逊的爸爸住
He's the best."
他最好了"
Well, thank you, Iggy A-snail-ya.
好吧谢谢你了伊琪蜗牛·莉
I appreciate that.
我很感谢
So, Madison, I'm here to help you get what you want.
麦迪逊我来这是帮你得到你想要的
So if there's anything you could think of
所以你仔细想想有没有什么事
that would help me win this case...
是可以帮我赢这个案子的
Well, let me see. Yeah, uhhuh.
好吧让我想想好
You know what, this is a mistake. It's fine. No, shh.
我们不应该这么做没事的别说了
Well, sometimes my mom leaves me home by myself,
有时候我妈留我一个人在家
and I went on her iPad to see where she was,
然后我就上她的iPad看她去哪儿了
and turns out she goes to a motel with her boss.
发现原来她和她的老板去了汽车旅馆
That's something, right?
这有帮到你吗
Oh, come on, Tim's a dick.
噢得了吧蒂姆是个混♥蛋♥
We can finally get rid of him,
我们终于可以赶走他了
send him back to the land
把他送回那片
of universal health care and nice people.
拥有全球医疗保险制度和好人遍地的土地
I know.
我知道
He's got kids, and they're cute.
他有孩子孩子们也很可爱
They're probably jerks, too.
或许他们也是小屁孩呢
Like, little Justin Bieber jerks.
就像贾斯丁·比伯那样的小屁孩
You know it's true.
你知道这是真的
Wow, this place is so quiet and tidy.
哇这里还真是安静又整洁
What'd you do?
你干啥啦
She broke our spirit.
她把我们逼疯了
Great.
干的漂亮
Okay, you're not gonna believe
你绝对不会相信
what has been happening around here.
这里发生了什么
First of all, Karen has been
首先凯伦把所有的
hoarding all the calcium chews.
咀嚼钙片都私屯了起来
Okay, Paula, I really want to hear about all this,
宝拉我真的很想听你说这些
but I actually got to get to the courthouse.
但我现在得去法♥院♥了
I scheduled an emergency hearing for Darryl today.
我为达里尔安排了一场今天的紧急听证会
A hearing already?
已经到听证会的程度了吗
Yeah. Wow.
是的天啊
Yeah, I'm gonna bust this case wide open.
我要给它翻案
And when I do... Suck it, Greg.
当我做到之后跪舔吧格雷
♪ Greg's gonna suck it, Greg's gonna suck it ♪
♪ 格雷跪舔格雷跪舔 ♪
♪ Greg's gonna suck it... ah, yeah! ♪
♪ 格雷跪舔 ♪
Your honor, what is the emergency?
法官阁下有什么急事
I have a business trip to the Caymans.
我要到开曼群岛出差
My plane is leaving today.
我今天的飞机
Your honor, may we begin?
法官阁下我们可以开始了吗
What's up, YouTubers?
大家好油管的各位
It's episode three of The Snailysitters Club.
这是蜗牛姐妹吧的第三集
She has a YouTube channel?
她竟然有油管账号♥
I know, right?
我知道好伐
Everybody has a YouTube channel.
人人都有油管账号♥
Even weird Karen from my office.
就连我办公室的奇葩凯伦都有
So tonight, just like last Friday,
所以今晚就如上周五我妈
my mom is with her boss at the motel,
和她老板去了汽车旅馆腻歪
and I'm with the best babysitters in the world...
我和这世界上做好的保姆在一起
My snails, holla!
我的蜗牛嗒哒
This week is super exciting
这周炒鸡让人兴奋
'cause me and my snails are gonna make s'mores
因为我和我的小蜗牛要在火炉上
on the gas stove.
做棉花糖饼干
Left alone.
独自在家
Gas stove.
煤气炉
Some mores.
烤棉花糖饼干
Your honor, she is very mature.
法官阁下她很早熟
And I was only gone for a couple minutes.
我只是离开了几分钟
Half hour at the most.
最多半个小时
How long were you sleeping with him?
你跟他睡了多久了
You worked there for five years.
你在那工作了5年
The whole five years?
整整五年吗
Yeah, but he doesn't talk about
没错但他从头到尾
his feelings all the time.
不曾说过他的感受
And he doesn't cry
也不会看猫粮广♥告♥
at cat food commercials.
看哭得一塌糊涂
Your honor, the evidence of neglect is irrefutable.
法官阁下忽视的证据确凿