疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S01E12

Part 4 March 26, 2021, 2:36 p.m.

Yeah, so, I think we're done
所以参考阿波罗13号♥的教训
with the Apollo 13 references
我觉得我们要完蛋了
Okay
好吧
I just want to spend time with him
我只是想和他在一起共度时光
I want so badly to go back to the way things were
我非常想回到我们最初的样子
♪ Romantic moments you had ♪
♪ 你所拥有的浪漫时刻 ♪
♪ That he didn't know were romantic ♪
♪ 他不知晓的浪漫时刻 ♪
♪ Or maybe he did a little ♪
♪ 或许他是知道的 ♪
♪ We're not really sure ♪
♪ 而我们并不确定 ♪
♪ But most likely not ♪
♪ 但很可能并非如此 ♪
But now I freaked him out
但是现在我把他吓坏了
God, I am so afraid that it's over
天啊我很害怕我们就这样结束了
that things will never be normal between us ever again
那样的话我们俩之间就再也不可能恢复正常了
Josh just doesn't want
乔希就是不想
to spend time with me anymore
和我在一起了
Oh, I was so close
哦我曾经和他如此亲密
and now he won't even be alone with me
现在他却甚至不想单独和我相处
God, I am never alone
天呐我从不孤独
This client requires so much hand-holding,
这个客户需要哥的鼎力帮助
it's like we're married
就像我们结了婚似的
Last week we go to Fresno for a hearing
上周我去弗雷斯♥诺♥听了一个审讯
The hotel's overbooked
旅馆都订满了
so we get a room with one bed
所以我们订了一间单人房♥
and then I'm between the sheets
我就睡在床单
with his body pressed against mine
和他的身体之间
Oh, last week I saw more of him
哦上周我看到他的次数
than I did my own wife
比我看我老婆都多
And I mean literally
我丝毫没有夸张
because I saw him naked, like, eight times
因为我看见他裸身好像有八次
That's genius
那简直是天才
We make him a client. Client
我们要找他当客户客户
All we need is a case
我们需要的是一宗案件
I love it
我喜欢
Wait, also...
等一下还有...
I love that we all had
我就喜欢我们
the same idea at the same time
不约而同的异口同声
It's like we're on each other's mental cycle
就像我们每个人都是彼此肚子里的蛔虫
Totally
完全赞同
So, what do we do?
所以我们该做什么
Uh, what case can you help Josh with?
你能帮助乔希什么样的案例呢
Or do we just get him arrested and then go from there?
或者我们叫人逮捕他然后去打救他
No, come on
别了来吧
I'm a member of the bar, I swore an oath
我作为一个律师不能这样做
Also, I lied to Josh once...
还有我向乔希撒了个谎
Once?
才一个吗
okay, I got caught once and it was the worst feeling
好吧我被他揭穿了一次糟透了
and I'm never doing it again
我以后也不要对他撒谎
So, no made-up cases
所以不要伪造案件
Fine, okay, we don't make up anything
好好我们从来不伪造任何东西
we find something. Something legit
我们找到了些东西合法的东西
Something you can actually help him with
一些你可以真正用来帮助他的东西
Exactly
确实是
How...do... we...do... that?
那我们如何做呢
Okay, you don't want to lie to him
好吧你不想对他撒谎
Can we hurt him?
我们能伤害他吗
Just a little bit
就一点点
Like, scalding coffee
比如从外卖♥♥店的
from a takeout place
滚烫的咖啡
Or...
或者是...
Ooh! He works at that radiology lab
哦他在放射实验室工作
Oh, come on, that place looks like a cancer factory
算了吧那个地方看起来像是一个癌症工厂
surely he has a tumor somewhere
他身体的某个部位肯定有肿瘤
What do tumors cause?
肿瘤会导致什么后果
Water on the brain...
脑积水
Water. Wait, I know a real thing
水等一下我知道一件真事儿
Okay, focus, focus
好的集中集中
Stay focused, you got three more
注意力集中还剩三组
Keep your eyes on me
双眼看着我
Oh, I am
是的
All right. Two
很好剩二
Are you breathing?
你在呼吸吗
I feel like you're not breathing at all
我感觉你根本没有在呼吸
I'm not breathing? You're not breathing
我没在呼吸? 你没在呼吸
You know what, let's, uh, let's take a break
你知道吗来我们休息会儿
Doing great. Okay
做得好好的
I'm gonnaI'm gonna put these down. Okay
我帮你拿下来好的
Take 60 seconds
花了60秒
Okay
好了
So, when was the last time we saw each other?
我们上次见是什么时候
At your house, the fight
在你家看拳赛
Yeah, yeah, well, that-that was the general event
说的那是大致的情况
but the specific event was...
但是具体情况是...
When I kissed you on the cheek?
我亲你的脸颊?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was, uh, funny
是那真的是很有趣
I mean, was that, like, a European thing
我是说那件事情一股浓浓的欧洲味儿
or was that something Hector put you up to?
还是一些朋友间恶整的吗
No, dude, I'm gay
不伙计我是个同性恋
You were being cute, so...
你在装可爱所以...
You're gay?
你是同性恋?
No one's ever mentioned that
从来没有人提过啊
Uh, well, everybody knows
额每个人都知道
It's not a big deal.
那没什么大不了
Okay, it's just... maybe your nickname
好吧那你应该叫
should be Gay Josh instead of White Josh
基·乔希而不是白·乔希啦
because then people would know what's up
那就让大家都清楚嘛
Why?
为什么
We don't call Greg, Straight Greg
我们又不叫格雷直男·格雷
We don't call you, Old Gay Darryl
我们又不叫你基大叔·达里尔
Whoa, what?
哇什么?
I am not old gay
我不是基大叔
I am not... or gay.
我又不是基
I'm... divorced
我是离婚的单身汉
I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by that, you just...
很抱歉我不是那个意思你只是
No, no... gave me the vibe
不不是给我的那种感觉
No. What...what vibe? The gay vibe
不什么感觉基基的感觉
But I don't understand why there would be a vibe
但我不明白为什么会有一种感觉
I like women. I like sleeping with women
我喜欢女人我喜欢和女人睡
I like the way they smell
我喜欢她们闻起来的那种感觉
and I like the way that they...
还有她们
the-the feel of their skin
皮肤摸起来的感觉
I like their bird-like voices
我喜欢她们鸟儿般的嗓音
I mean, does that sound gay?
那样听起来很像同性恋吗
Nope
不啊
Sounds like a serial killer
听起来像是个连环杀手
but a straight one, for sure
但绝对是个直男
Yeah, a straight ser... What? No
是啊一个直男连环... 什么鬼...才不
You know what, I think this is enough right now
你知道吗我觉得现在这就够了
Okay. Because you know what
好因为你知道
I actually have to return a call Yup to my ex-wife, Sure
我是向我的前妻回个电♥话♥
Who's a girl.
而我前妻是女的
You know? No problem
你知道没问题
We actually reproduced together
我们还一起生过小孩了
Okay
好的
Cool
酷
That's-that's not something you can do solo
那不是你一个人单独可以做的事情
That's... a good point
说的不错
That's teamwork
那是团队合作
So, what is this stupid meeting about?
那这个愚蠢的会议是要谈论什么
Well, I'm here to dis...
我是要谈论...
Oh, this is the boyfriend, huh?
这就是男朋友对吧