疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S01E16

Part 6 March 26, 2021, 2:38 p.m.

♪ Boobs may be where it's at ♪
♪ 大♥波♥或许很时尚 ♪
♪ But if you cut them open ♪
♪ 但解剖一下你就明了 ♪
♪ They're just sacks of yellow fat ♪
♪ 不过就是几袋子的脂肪 ♪
♪ Stuff falls into my bra ♪
♪ 塞进我的胸罩里 ♪
♪ It's a little bit of a drag ♪
♪ 有时还是个累赘 ♪
♪ But when I go to bed at night ♪
♪ 但当我晚上入睡时 ♪
♪ It's like opening a Mary Poppins bag ♪
♪ 就像是多啦A梦的百宝袋一样 ♪
Whee, candy and pennies!
哇哦是糖果和钢镚儿哎
♪ I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs ♪
♪ 我有一对大♥波♥波呀大♥波♥波 ♪
♪ Dense like dying stars ♪
♪ 重得像两颗死恒星 ♪
♪ I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs ♪
♪ 我有一对大♥波♥波呀大♥波♥波 ♪
♪ Don't need an air bag in my car ♪
♪ 车内无需安装安全气囊 ♪
♪ Here is a list of all of the objects ♪
♪ 这儿有个清单 ♪
♪ That I can hold under my boobs ♪
♪ 里面都是我波波下可以夹住的东西 ♪
♪ Stapler, ten pencils ♪
♪ 订书机呀十支笔呀 ♪
♪ Paperback copy of Arabian Nights ♪
♪ 天方夜谭的平装本呀 ♪
♪ Dog bone, remote control ♪
♪ 狗骨头呀遥控器呀 ♪
♪ Hardback copy of Wuthering Heights ♪
♪ 呼啸山庄的精♥装♥本呀 ♪
See, when a star is dying, it transforms into a red giant.
看到没当恒星濒临死亡时它会变成红巨星
And if the red giant does not have enough mass to fuse carbon,
如果红巨星不具备使碳聚变的质量
an inert mass of carbon and oxygen builds up in the center,
中心会生成碳氧惰性物质
transforming into a dense white dwarf.
从而转化成白矮星
And yeah, like, that's my boobs.
对这就是我的大♥波♥波
That's... that's what my boobs are like.
就像我对大♥波♥波一样
♪ I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs ♪
♪ 我有一对大♥波♥波呀大♥波♥波 ♪
♪ Dense like a white dwarf ♪
♪ 重得像白矮星 ♪
♪ I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs ♪
♪ 我有一对大♥波♥波呀大♥波♥波 ♪
♪ They'd be a catch at Fisherman's Wharf ♪
♪ 在街上会引来万千目光 ♪
♪ I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs ♪
♪ 我有一对大♥波♥波呀大♥波♥波 ♪
♪ Don't ever forget that ♪
♪ 千万别忘了 ♪
♪ These heavy boobs, heavy boobs ♪
♪ 这对大♥波♥波呀大♥波♥波 ♪
♪ Are just sacks of yellow fat ♪
♪ 不过几袋脂肪而已 ♪
♪ Like the stuffing of a couch ♪
♪ 就像沙发里的填充物 ♪
♪ They're just sacks of yellow fat ♪
♪ 不过只是几袋脂肪而已 ♪
♪ Technically meant to feed a baby ♪
♪ 技术上看能用来养婴儿 ♪
♪ They're just sacks of yellow fat. ♪
♪ 不过只是几袋脂肪而已 ♪
Wow.
哇
I had no idea.
我不知道咋说
No wonder my boobs are so small.
怪不得我胸这么小
I have no fat on my body.
我身上没有一点脂肪
See?
看
Exactly. Problem solved.
对啊问题解决了
Now, you try on the dress.
现在你试试这件婚纱
Yes.
对的
Let's see how it looks
让我们看看
with some nice B-cup action in there.
B罩杯穿起这条裙子是什么样子
No. I couldn't.
我不行啦
Valencia, you're going to make a really beautiful bride.
瓦伦西亚你会是一位非常漂亮的新娘
Josh is really lucky.
乔希真幸运
I hope.
希望如此
I hope some day it is Josh and me, I really do.
希望有朝一日我能和乔希结婚真的
It will be.
会的
And I'm so sorry if I did anything to delay that dream.
我做过些阻碍这梦想的行为非常抱歉
I appreciate you saying that.
谢谢你能这么说
Do you mind taking a picture of me?
你介意给我拍张照吗
Just for me.
我留着自己看的
I want to remember how I looked.
我想留住我穿婚纱的样子
Of course.
没问题
Okay.
好的
Okay.
好了
Oh, I got nothing to work with here.
一点有用的东西都没有
I mean, I've already hacked into Valencia's e-mails
我都已经黑进瓦伦西亚的电子邮件了
and her texts.
还有她的短♥信♥
Ooh, wait a minute, what's this?
哦等一下这是啥
A photo stream?
照片墙吗
Oh, again. You with the face.
又是你这张脸
What do you mean, how did I get Valencia's password?
你什么意思啊问我怎么知道瓦伦西亚密♥码♥
You know me.
你懂我的
Okay.
好吧
Let's see what we've got here.
让我看下有啥
Valencia's photos... chocolate cake... fried chicken...
瓦伦西亚的照片巧克力蛋糕炸鸡
Spaghetti with meatballs.
意大利面和肉丸
Oh, she just likes to look at food.
她喜欢看美食啊
Okay.
好的
Oh, wait a minute, what is this?
哦等一下这是啥
I think that's Jayma's wedding gown.
我觉得这是杰玛的结婚礼服
You know, I've...
你知道吗我已经
I've prayed to God my whole life,
我一生都在向上帝祈祷
and I, and I never knew if she was listening,
并且我我从不知道她是否在听
but...
但是
thank you, Big Mama.
谢谢你天主
Uh, no wrinkles.
不要褶皱
Yeah, or bubbles. Thank you.
对也不要涨起喔谢谢
We got this.
双剑合璧天下无敌嘛
It says I have a new like on a photo.
有人给我的照片点赞了
I... I didn't take a photo, what is this?
我没拍照阿这是啥
Hey!
嘿
You ruined my wedding.
你毁了我的婚礼
Yeah, bitch.
对贱♥人♥
How could you? What's wrong with you?
你怎么能这样你怎么回事
#HotterThanTheBride?
居然写 "#比新娘更火♥辣♥"
I... I...I didn't do anything.
我我什么都没做
I didn't post a photo.
我没有发照片
And my hashtags are always positive.
我的标签都很正面的啊
Like, #GirlBoss
像 #女人当自强
or #Fitspo.
或是 #健身姿势
Someone must be framing me or something.
一定是有人陷害我
What kind of psycho with no life
什么样无聊的疯子
would do such a thing?
才会做这种事
Oh, God, Paula.
天哪宝拉
You must have done it.
肯定是你干的
When I went to the bathroom.
在我去洗手间的时候
This is why women
这就是女生为什么
don't go to the bathroom alone.
不单独去洗手间
Excuse me, miss, I have a bone to pick with you.
打扰一下小姐我对你有点意见
I'm sorry, sir. Can I help you?
对不起先生有我能帮你的吗
Yes, you can. By helping yourself.
你可以帮下你自己
Stop chasing after the cartwheeling magician idiot boy,
不要再追着那个翻跟斗变魔术的白♥痴♥了
and start paying attention to the guy
开始关注一下
with the bountiful, beautiful hair,
蛮好看的爆♥炸♥头
who happens to really care about you.
恰巧又在乎你男孩吧
Oh, you're friends with Marty.
原来你是马蒂的朋友
I prefer mentor.
说是导师更好点
Ah, well, I've already told him
我都已经跟他说了
I'm not interested.
我对他不感兴趣
Him continuing to chase after me is a terrible decision,
他继续追我真的超烦的
which makes me respect him even less.
这样反而让我更加讨厌他
I mean, maybe if he backed off
也许他缓下来
and let me come to him,
让我慢慢了解他
maybe I would think about it.
也许我会考虑一下他
Otherwise, can you tell him to stop
另外你可以叫他
with the songs and the texts and the skywriting?
别再唱歌♥ 别再传短讯别再用飞机在空中写字
Okay.
好的
What did you skywrite?
你在空中写了什么字
Lyrics to the song.
歌♥词
Cost a fortune.
花了大价钱
Oh, and it was so windy.
又有风
I basically paid for a cloud.
所以我基本上是花钱弄了一堆云
So what's next, coach?
接下来呢教练
What do I do? What's my next move?
我要怎么做下一步呢