疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S01E09

Part 6 March 26, 2021, 2:35 p.m.

♪ 我只要你的爱 ♪
♪ your love is all I need ♪
♪ 向我展示你的才能 ♪
♪ show me what you got ♪
♪ 向我展示你的本领 ♪
♪ show me all of your goods ♪
♪ 靠近一点点让我看个遍 ♪
♪ come a little closer, and I'll take a look ♪
没有比这更尴尬的了
This could not get any more uncomfortable.
♪ 让我无力 ♪
♪ Make me weak ♪
♪ 因为你的身体就是我的春♥药♥ ♪
♪ 'cause your body is my favorite treat ♪
♪ 你的爱是蜜糖 ♪
♪ your love is my sugar ♪
♪ 我只要你的爱 ♪
♪ your love is all I need ♪
♪ 你的爱是蜜糖 ♪
♪ your love is my sugar... ♪
天那是我想我刚刚
Oh, that's, I think I just...
我看到了不该看的你呢
I saw something, did you?
我想我是看到了里面的东东
I think I saw inside of her.
♪ 黏腻的甜蜜 ♪
♪ Sticky sweet ♪
♪ 你的爱是蜜糖 ♪
♪ your love is my sugar ♪
♪ 我只要你的爱 ♪
♪ your love is all I need. ♪
怎样不错吧
Not bad, eh?
完美
That was perfect.
也许你们在想
You're all probably wondering,
我为什么跳那么好
like, how...how I'm so good at that.
是因为我在纽约的时候上过课
Well, I took a class in New York,
不出人意料的
and, I mean, not surprisingly,
成绩优秀
I got an "A."
钢管舞还评分吗
They give grades in pole dancing?
如果你要求的话他们会给评的
They do if you ask, yeah.
真的很特别呢
Well, that was really special.
同志们她之所以这么做只有一个原因
Guys, there's only one reason she did that.
没错为了让整个派对嗨起来嘛
Yeah, to get the party started for my crew.
把你的子♥宫♥展示给我男朋友看算是吗
By showing my boyfriend your cervix?
我认为你不懂哪部分才是 "子♥宫♥"
I don't think you understand the female reproductive system.
她刚刚就是这样做来吸引乔希的注意的
She just did that so Josh could look at her
还有她的胸
and her, boobs.
什么不是这样的
What? No.
不我没有
No, I... no, I didn't.
我不是为了他才跳这舞的
I wasn't doing this for a guy.
天哪谁跳钢管舞是为了吸引男性注意的
Oh, my God, who pole-dances for male attention?
你知道我在纽约上的那个课叫什么名字吗
Do you know the name of the class I took in New York?
女性主义钢管舞
It was feminist pole dancing.
没错我的老师
Yeah, and as my teacher,
是个可爱的变性女人叫绝世美女教授
a lovely trans woman named Professor Goddess,
她说真正的钢管舞
said that true pole,
真正的钢管舞是要重新博取男性的注视
true pole is about re-appropriating the male gaze.
这是什么鬼
This is not normal!
她是不是有病
She is not normal!
为什么瑞贝卡做得所有奇葩事都能找到借口
Why does Rebecca get a pass for every crazy thing she does?!
别这样瓦伦西亚
Come on, Valencia.
你敢说你不喜欢我男朋友吗瑞贝卡
So you don't like my boyfriend, Rebecca?
当然不喜欢天哪
No, oh, my God.
我已经跟你说了没有
I have, like, told you. Oh, no.
我不喜欢你男朋友
I don't like your boyfriend.
我只是想要和他成为朋友啊
I just want to be his friend,
就像我想要和你交朋友一样
just like I keep trying to be your friend.
我觉得她应该只是想要娱乐一下
Yeah, I think she was just trying to have fun, you know?
用勾引你的方式娱乐吗
Having fun by hitting on you.
- 勾引我 - 苍天啊好吧瓦伦西亚
- Hitting on me? - Oh, my God, okay, Valencia,
瓦伦西亚我特别严肃认真得跟你讲
like, Valencia, seriously. Seriously,
我不喜欢乔希
I am not into Josh.
- 怎么可能 - 如果我喜欢乔希
- No. - Like, if I were into Josh,
我怎么可能
would I have hooked up
和来自回声公园的伪素食大厨搞上吗
with a faux vegetarian chef from Echo Park?
或者
Or...
如果我喜欢乔希
If I were into Josh,
我怎么可能和那个
would I have gotten together
Tinder : 国外一个约炮神器
从Tinder上认识的叫杰森的男人在一起
with a man named Jason from Tinder?
对吼那个多毛而蛋臭的男人
Oh, yeah, the little hairy guy with the balls.
那有怎样这证明不了什么
So what? That doesn't prove anything.
这就是证据说明我对很多
Yeah, it does, it-it proves that I am out there
乔希以外的男人都很感兴趣
on the hunt for many non-Josh people.
这样说也太奇怪了吧
That's a weird way to phrase that.
承认吧你喜欢乔希
Admit it. You're into Josh.
如果我喜欢乔希
If I were into Josh,
那我会和格雷格搞上吗
would I have hooked up with Greg
事实上是第一天我来到这儿的时候就搞上
practically, like, the first day I got here?
在博物馆的话根本不会发生这事
This would never have happened at the Getty.
等等瑞贝卡刚到这儿的时候
Wait, wait, wait, you guys hooked up,
你们俩就已经搞上了
right when Rebecca moved here?
如果你非要讲的话
If you could call it that.
我会说成是... 有暧昧
I would call it... something
而这种事不应该在派对巴士上讲
that should never have been spoken of on a party bus.
因为我花了很长时间和你们俩谈
'Cause I have spent a lot of time talking to both of you
说你们该约对方出去
about whether you should date each other.
你俩谁也没提过
Neither of you ever thought to mention
你俩已经暧昧过
you had already hooked up?
你为什么要介意
Why do you care?
只是觉得这样很不爽
It's just weird.
我的意思是瑞贝卡已经是我认识很久的朋友了而且
I mean, Rebecca has been my friend for a long time, and...
乔希你可从来没跟我说过
Josh, you never mentioned to me
或者对其他人说
or anyone else
你和瑞贝卡多年前在一起过
that you and Rebecca had dated years ago.
同志们咱能不能不谈这个了好吗
Guys, let's stop talking about this, okay?
我很抱歉把这事挑起来
I...I'm sorry I brought that up.
咱们换个话题吧
Let's...let's change the subject.
乔希我需要和你谈谈
Josh, I need to talk to you.
我是认真的同志们
Seriously, guys,
都是我的不好
this is my bad.
我们谈点别的吧
Let's...let's talk about something different.
她是对的这样很蠢
She's right. This is dumb.
希瑟来我再给你拿杯酒
Heather, come on, I'm gonna get you another drink.
你发现格雷格和瑞贝卡的事情的时候
What was that look on your face when you found out
是什么表情啊
about Greg and Rebecca?
什么我没有啥表情啊我只是
What? Nothing. I was...
- 你吃醋了没错 - 我没有
- Jealous. Yes. - I was not.
我没有吃醋
I am not.
我只是不喜欢秘密好吗
I just don't like secrets, okay?
在那些事儿中尤其是格雷
Just typical Greg, so above it all.
竟然不跟我说实话就像我是格雷格
Not telling me stuff. It's like, "Oh, I'm Greg.
我比任何人都优秀
"I'm better than everyone.
我博览群书还听谈话类电台
I read books and listen to the talking radio station."
这根本不关格雷的事
This just has nothing to do with Greg.
这都是那个永远粘着你的
This has everything to do
夏令营暗恋狂干的好事
with your summer camp stalker who won't go away.
我和她只是朋友
I'm just friends with her.
我什么也没做
I'm not doing anything.
这就是问题所在
That's the problem.
我已经厌烦了乔希的态度
I'm so tired of Josh's attitude.
他又不能告诉我该跟谁约会
He can't tell me who to hook up with.
我是个有主见的男子汉好吗
I'm a grown-ass man.
他这是越界对吧
He's out of line, right?
你们所有人都好奇怪啊
You guys have a weird thing, all of you.
太戏剧性了
There's so much drama.
我不喜欢这样
I don't like it.
我绝不会把我的精神包袱带去参加每场聚会
I don't bring my baggage with me to every date.
就像我永远不会把你带去齐克在场的派对一样
Like, I would never bring you to a party with Zeke.
谁是齐克
Who is Zeke?
就是嘛
Exactly.
我不喜欢在健身房♥洗澡
I don't like showering at the gym,
因为都是那些香港脚啥的
because of all, like, the athlete's foot and stuff.
没错你知道吗
Sure, sure, you know what?
人字拖
Flip-flops.
一定要放在你的车里