神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E20

Part 4 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:05 p.m.

that you came all the way down here
真的给了Jake一个教训
has really taught Jake a lesson.
救命
Help!
好吧我错了
And I'm wrong.
他又做傻事了
He's done something dumb.
救命救命 - 穿好衣服 Jake
Help! Help! - Cover yourself, Jake.
我是你警局的朋友Charles Boyle
It's your friend Charles Boyle from work!
嘿兄弟们
Hey, guys.
你特么在外面干什么呢 Peralta
What the hell are you doing out there, Peralta?
你们会相信我的尿流强大到
Would you believe that my urine stream was so powerful that it...
不会 - 好吧
No! - Okay.
我以为我看到嫌疑犯了
I thought I saw our perp,
我知道我不应该工作的
and I know I'm not supposed to be working,
但是严格来说我没有在工作
but technically, I wasn't working
因为那不是我们的嫌疑犯
because it wasn't our guy.
滚出卫生间
Get out of the bathroom!
我们得坐在那恶心的床上
We're gonna go sit on those gross beds
讨论一下你真正的问题
and talk about the fact that you have a real problem!
好好我明白你现在很生气
Okay, I get that you're mad,
我们也绝对会讨论一下的
and we are definitely gonna talk,
但是严格来说我仍然没有尿尿呢
but I still haven't, technically, gotten to go pee,
所以你要是不介意的话
so if you wouldn't mind...
我不在乎
I don't care.
你失去了尿尿的权利了
You have lost the right to pee.
你乖乖憋着吧小伙子
You can fidget, little man.
等我尿咱们一身的时候就都怪你
Well, it's gonna be on you when we're all covered in my whiz.
快滚出去
Get your ass out there.
你乳♥房♥♥疼吗
Are your bosoms tender?
我就假装你没问我这问题
I'm gonna pretend that you didn't just ask me that.
你的感觉是不是更灵敏了
Are your senses heightened?
我觉得我是怀孕了
I think I might be pregnant,
不是被受过放射性感染的蜘蛛咬了
not bitten by a radioactive spider.
Kevin问我姐妹的事
Kevin asked me about my sister.
她刚刚告诉我她怀孕了
She just told me she's pregnant,
这让我怀疑
and that made me think...
我最近感觉很虚弱
I've been feeling run down lately,
我胃不舒服
my stomach's been weird,
而且我刚刚算了一下
and I just did the math in my head
我觉得我有点迟了
and I think I'm a little bit late.
什么迟了
Late to...
哦对对
Oh, right. Right.
你的
Your...
要是我怀孕了怎么办
What if I'm pregnant?
我应该告诉Marcus吗
Do I tell Marcus?
我带着个小孩怎么办
What do I do with a baby?
大家都怎么解决这些事的
How do you take care of those things?
为什么他们的头那么软
Why are their heads so soft?
在你越想越离谱前
Before you spiral any more,
你应该先测一下是不是怀孕了
you should take a pregnancy test.
对聪明立刻
Yes. Smart. Immediately.
噢
Oh.
此时此刻啊
Immediately immediately.
很好
Very well.
我会想个办法为你开脱
I'll figure out a way to get you out of here
并且尽量不引起疑问
without arousing suspicion.
现在我后悔
Now I'm regretting
这么快就把我的兰花小知识讲完了
blowing through my orchid material so quickly.
Jake 你把工作放在首要
Jake, you put work ahead of everything else,
这样不健康
and it's not healthy.
还记得Cagney和Lacey的三岁生日派对吗
Remember Cagney and Lacey's third birthday party?
我雇你当小丑Jakels
I hired you as Jakels the Clown.
结果呢
How'd that go?
长颈鹿Jeremy有个长长的脖子
And Jeremy the giraffe has a very long neck!
我知道了
That's it.
那个小女孩是被掐死的
That little girl was strangled!
你在小孩子的聚会上想那种东西
You were thinking that at a kid's party.
生活不只是
Life is more than just
你在办的某件案子
whatever case you're working on.
如果你不想办法把事情平衡好的话
If you don't figure out how to balance things,
你会累死或者受伤的
you're gonna burn out or get hurt.
哦看哪
Oh, look.
你的确受伤了
You did get hurt.
好吧
Okay! Fine.
你们说的很有道理
You guys make some great points,
但是话说回来
but counterpoint:
我一直是对的
I am right all the time.
那就是我们的嫌犯
There's our perp.
好的我们出发
All right. Let's go!
Jake
Jake!
从安全的距离观察他
Observe him from a safe distance
等待大西洋城警力出现
while we wait for the Atlantic City PD to show up.
这也是我的直觉警长
My exact instinct as well, Sarge.
好主意
Good thinking.
哦不
Oh, no.
你确定我们必须得结束聚会了吗
Are you certain we have to cut the party short?
是的不幸的是 Diaz警探
Yes; Unfortunately, Detective Diaz
有一件突发的紧急事件需要解决
has an unexpected emergency to take care of.
好吧
All right.
你也要走吗
Do you need to go as well?
不这用不着警监出马
No; It's not quite captain-worthy.
但还是重要到
But still advanced enough
需要Diaz警探的能力解决这类
that Detective Diaz's talents are best qualified to handle the...
并不紧急的紧急事件
Non-emergency emergency.
对一点也没错
Yes. Precisely.
看她很棒
See? She's great.
我该去解决此事了
I should go do that.
现在就去
Now.
是的
Yes.
嘿怎么样 - 嗨
Hey. What's up? - Hi.
抱歉我们迟到这么久
Sorry we're so late.
事实上聚会已经结束了
Actually, the party is over.
什么
What?
聚会已经结束了
The party is over!
哦我明白了你听得见
Oh, I see. You heard me.
你只是感到惊讶而已
You were just taken by surprise.
很好晚安
Very well. Good night.
但是哦
But... oh!
我只是想给Holt警监留下好印象
All I wanted to do was impress Captain Holt,
你知道吗
and you know what?
这没关系
It didn't matter.
我们迟到了没关系
It didn't matter that we were late,
我很淡定也没关系
it didn't matter that I was chill,
老鼠吃了我的沙拉也没关系
and it didn't matter that the rats ate my salad.
哦不
Oh, no.
我绝对看到它们被你的沙拉吓跑了
I definitely saw them running away from it.
你知道吗我的朋友
You know what, my friend?
是时候真的淡定了
It's time to be chill for real.
是的 Gaga 没错
Yes, Gaga! Yes!
这就对了
That's the spirit!
我们该走了
We should go.
对
Yep.
该死的大西洋城警署
Damn ACPD.
他们现在早该到了
They should be here by now.
他在看我们
He's looking at us.
假装在用制冰机 Boyle
Pretend to use the ice machine, Boyle.
我很乐意
Gladly!
为什么在酒店取冰块这么好玩呢
Why is it so fun to get hotel ice?
感觉很浪费但是又感觉
It feels wasteful, but also, like,
"我订了这个房♥间这冰块是我应得的"
"I bought this room. I deserve this ice."
嘘他开始行动了
Shh! He's on the move.
好的