神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E02

Part 2 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:02 p.m.

She and her fiance Hercules are also my landlords.
想躲都躲不了
I mean it's not like I can avoid them,
我就住在他们地下室
I live in their basement.
嘿你在和我想一样的事情吗
Hey! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
没有
No.
你可以和我一起去
You can go with me.
不行明晚有约会
Can't. Have a date tomorrow night.
好吧我会另想出办法来的
Okay, I will figure something out.
我知道了如果我付钱给我邻居Joann的话
I know! Maybe if I pay my neighbor Joann,
她或许会愿意抛下老婆陪我去
she'll ditch her wife for the night!
警监我不知道这会不会太过了
Captain, I don't know if this is too much,
但我给副局长Brandt买♥♥了一篮梨
but I got deputy chief Brandt this little basket of pears.
它们看起来又熟又脆
They look ripe and crispy.
你好 Raymond
Hello, Raymond.
Wuntch警监很高兴见到你
Captain Wuntch. Good to see you.
不过你怎么会在这
But if you're here,
你不是应该忙着看守地狱么
who's guarding Hades?
Hades即哈迪斯希腊神话中的人物是古希腊神话中的地狱之神
请称呼我为副局长
It's deputy chief Wuntch now.
毫无悬念的我被提拔为你的上级了
Unsuprisingly, I've been promoted above you.
现在我是来这儿评估你的
And now, I'm here to evaluate you.
Brandt呢
What happened to Brandt?
他退休搬去查尔斯顿
He retaired and moved to Charleston
培养和他孙子之间的感情了
to be close to his grandchildren,
还不如办公室里等死有尊严
So much for dying at your desk with little dignity.
有意思鉴于现在这个情况
Interesting. I will attempt to coorporate with you.
我会尽力配合你的
Under this, new circumstances.
别和我甜言蜜语 Holt
Don't sweet-talk me, Holt.
我已经尽力了我们开始吧
I gave it my best shot. Let's begin.
哈喽
Hey, hey!
怎么样
How'd it go?
他以后说话就变高音了吗
Is his voice all high-pitched now?
什么不当然不是
What? No, of course not.
当然不是啊
Of course not.
Jake
Jake!
医生把我变成超级英雄了
The doctors made me into a superhero!
我好强壮啊
I am so strong!
他们还把我变成黑人了
And they made me black!
他药劲还没退呢
He's on a lot of medication.
我们没能实施手术
We weren't able to do the procedure.
你这位朋友太大了
Your friend is so large...
所以你需要个更大的工具来搞定他那玩意
That you needed a bigger saw to get through his dingus?
不我是说他个头太大了
No, his body is so physically massive
我们库存的麻醉剂不够
that we didn't have enough anesthesia on hand.
他需要注射更大的剂量
He needs a much larger dose.
喂喂 Jake
Psst... psst... Jake.
有时候我区分不出我的双胞胎宝贝女儿
Sometimes I can't tell my twin baby girls apart,
就一律管她们叫宝宝
so I call them both "Boo-boo."
哇噢所以他现在就跟喝了吐真剂一样是嘛
Wow. So he has no filter whatsoever?
没错
None.
我们现在要回家了警长
I'm gonna take ya home now, sarge.
对了你觉得Holt警监这人咋样
Hey, what do you think of captain Holt?
他需要抽点大♥麻♥放松一下
He needs to smoke some weed.
耶
Yes!
多谢了割鸡鸡医生
Thank you, Dr. Penis-off!
好了到家了
Okay, in ya go. You're okay.
哇太酷了
Whoo! Cool!
兄弟你的头好小啊
Dude, your head is so small!
就像
Like a...
不不实在太小了
No, no, it's so small!
好吧
All right.
哪有位置放你的大脑呢
Where do you keep your brains?
啊好孩子
Ah, Good.
好了睡衣给你换上了睡前故事也讲了
All right, got your PJS on, read you a story,
床底下有没有怪物也检查过了
checked under the bed for monsters.
再检查一遍
Check again!
现在该乖乖睡觉了来吧
And now it's sleepy-time, so here we go...
上♥床♥睡觉去 - 等等等一等
Get onto the bed. - Wait, wait, wait...
你答应我不要让他们给我做那个手术
You gotta promise me you won't let them give me the operation.
我还想要孩子我不要被结扎
I wanna have more kids. I don't want the vasectomy.
答应我小脑袋答应我
Promise me, tiny head! Promise me!
好啦答应你就是了
All right, I promise! I promise.
太好了
Good!
我还没有用够我的"小♥弟♥弟♥"呢
Because I'm not done with my testicles yet.
好好好
Okay.
我还要让它们放"射"歌♥唱
I'm gonna let them sing!
噢喔这羞耻的步伐
Uh-oh, walk of shame!
和昨天一样的衣服
Same clothes as yesterday.
我在警长家过的夜
I slept at the sarge's.
简直不堪回首
It was horrible.
我命令你过来电♥话♥
Come... here... Phone!
行了我们赶紧去审嫌疑犯吧
All right, let's get going and interview that suspect.
我下午还要去补做结扎手术呢
I have my make-up vasectomy this afternoon so...
等等你说你还要干嘛
I'm sorry, your what-what vasectomy?
昨晚你告诉我你不想做那手术的
Last night, you told me you didn't want that.
然后你就压在我身上
Then you fell on top of me
彻底改变了我的骨骼形状
and changed the shape of my skeleton forever.
不我绝对是想做那手术的
No, I definitely want one.
昨天大概是药物的原因我当时快嗨得飞起来了
That was the drugs talking. I was high as a kite.
我有这样而且叫你小脑袋吗 - 有
Did I do this and call you "Tiny head?" - Yes.
我开始慢慢回想起昨晚的事了
Some things are coming back to me now.
噢很好
Oh, that's great.
哈哈小脑袋
Tiny head.
Jake 在这个切不切输精管的问题上
Jake, I am so scared that man is about to make
我怕警长会做出错误的决定
a huge mistake, re: His vas deferens.
可不是他昨天还让我一定要阻止他去做手术
I know, he made me promise to not let him get that surgery.
绝不是药的原因他确实不想结扎
And it wasn't just the drugs. He doesn't want this.
身为朋友我应该去阻止他
As his friend, it's my job to stop him.
抱歉我的脊椎被Terry压得跟一堆碎石子似的
Sorry, Terry turned my spine into a loose stack of pebbles.
在我上任以后
And, since my arrival,
暴♥力♥犯罪率下降了百分之17.3
violent crime has gone down by 17.3 percent,
如你所见
as you can see here
双色图表么
Two-toned graphs?
你觉得用这些华而不实的图表
You think you can distract me from this
就能向我隐瞒这个片区的问题吗
precinct's problem with a flashy presentation?
你还真是没变啊
Same old Ray Holt.
光说不做
All sizzle, no steak.
我要去做随机调查了
I'm off to do some spot-checks.
我的天哪她一定不会让我们通过的
Oh my god, she's totally gonna flunk us!
自打二年级的那个课间以后
I haven't gotten an F
我就再也没得过F了
since I failed recess in second grade!
"Amy 老师也得休息呀"
"Teacher's need a break too, Amy."
打从她踏进片区的那一刻
We were doomed the minute
我们就注定玩完了
she slithered into the precinct.
真有意思
That's funny.
初次见面时我们的关系还很好呢
When we first met, we had some good times.
似乎我们都想要这个订书机啊
Looks like we both want that stapler.
是啊鉴于我们一致的动作
Seems that way. Based on what happened.
那你们的关系是什么时候破裂的
So when did it all go south?
1989年我当时得到了一个
1989, I was up for a big promotion
能让人飞黄腾达的晋升
which would've fast-tracked my career.
Wuntch答应为我写一封信
Wuntch offered to write a letter on my behalf
然而她却狠狠中伤了我
but instead she torpedoed me,
因为在她上交前的那晚
because of something that happened the night
我们有了些小摩擦
before she was to turn it in.
Madeline
Madeline.
你想来一杯吗
Would you care for a drink?
当然
I'd love one.
你肯定看得出来我喝多了
I'm sure you can tell. I'm quite drunk.
我喝了几杯
I had a couple,
为了壮壮胆
to build up the nerve.