神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E09

Part 3 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:03 p.m.

那就躲在它们看不到的衣柜里吧
In the closet where they can't watch us?
对真机智
Yep. Smart.
玩偶啊啊啊
Ah! Puppets!
衣柜里好多玩偶呀
Oh, there's so many puppets in there.
那么学习下厨的第一步
Now, the first step in learning how to cook
就是先学会品尝
is learning how to taste.
请你闭上眼张开嘴
So close your eyes and open your mouth.
这可不是火人节 Boyle
This isn't burning man, Boyle.
快说我在吃的是什么
Tell me what I'm eating.
好吧这是块陈年佛蒙特卡伯奶酪
Fine. It's a sharp Vermont Cabot.
来描述一下你尝到了什么
Now describe what you taste.
奶酪
Cheese.
还有呢
And...
奶酪
Cheese.
好吧很不错了
Okay. That's good.
试着更详细地描述一下
But try being more descriptive.
我知道你喜欢花生酱果冻三明治
I know you love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
但是为什么
Why?
它的原料保质期长性价比高
Their components have a long shelf life, they're cost-effective,
而且容易制♥作♥到连小孩子都会
and they're so simple, a child could make them.
好吧但我是想寻求的是一种情感上的联♥系♥
Okay, I was looking for more of an emotional connection.
比如说我最喜欢的菜
For example, my favorite meal
就是简单的烤鸡配土豆
is a simple roast chicken and potatoes.
那是我妈唯一会做的菜
It was the only dish my mother knew how to cook,
当我在吃它的时候
and when I eat it,
我恍若重回她的子♥宫♥里一般
I feel as though I am once again inside her womb.
你对花生果酱三明治有什么特别的情感吗
What's your story behind a PB&J?
我想吃个三明治
I want a sandwich.
我做了个三明治
I make a sandwich.
我吃了那三明治
I eat the sandwich.
太菜了吧 Claire
Come on, Claire!
你就这水平还来混啥
I thought you came to play.
妈呀 Teddy人呢
Yikes. Where's Teddy?
他在洗澡呢
He's in the shower.
我跟他说你好然后聊了大概一分钟
I said hi to him, we chatted for, like, a minute,
然后我差点就搞砸了
and I almost blew it.
喔你说得肯定有点夸张了
Oh, I'm sure you're overstating that.
他说他很期待有个浪漫的晚上
He said he was really looking forward to a romantic evening,
我却吓得张口大喊"啊哈哈"
and I panicked and yelled "L-o-l."
噗嘿嘿 - 唉
Yeah... - Oh.
唉
Oh.
我会举止可疑他会问为什么
I'm gonna be weird, he's gonna ask why,
我们会分手之后会超级混乱
we're gonna break up, and it's gonna be super messy.
淡定
Just calm down.
我们帮你渡过难关好不好
We're gonna get you through this, okay?
计划如下
Here's the plan.
咱们四个共进晚餐一起尽毁浪漫氛围
The four of us will dine together and keep things super unromantic.
这是我的强项 - 的确是
I'm great at that. - Yeah, he is.
赞
Whoo!
等等我们应该为那种事击掌吗
Wait, should we have high-fived that?
我不知道 - 随便吧
I don't know. - It doesn't matter.
喔对了如果你觉得控制不住自己了
Oh, also, if you feel like you're losing control,
就说"耶利哥"这个词我就会使出浑身解数来帮你
just say the word "Jericho," and I'll pull out all the stops.
喔耶利哥这暗号♥真不错 - 对吧
Oh, Jericho, safe word, I love that. - Right?
好的那么晚饭之后
All right, so after dinner,
你就装病说自己得马上卧床休息
pretend you're sick and say you want to go straight to bed.
明天一大早咱俩还得去接嫌犯
Me and you have to pick up the perp super early in the morning,
所以你只要在从电梯走到房♥间的那段时间里
so you only have to act normal around Teddy
在Teddy面前表现得正常就行
from the elevator to the room.
你觉得自己能做到吗
Do you think you can do that?
应该能吧
Yes?
你能你得说"是的我能做到我能当个正常人"
Yes. Say, "Yes, I can do it. I can be normal."
是的我能做到我能当个正常人
Yes, I can do it. I can be normal.
这就好
There you go.
我完全能当个正常人的
I can totally be normal.
各位好啊
Hey, everybody.
他来咯
There he is!
Teddy大驾光临啦
Teddy in the house!
移送犯人居然也能放小假真想不到
Who knew a prisoner transfer could be like a mini-vacation, huh?
嘿伙计
Hey, man.
非常感谢你邀请我来
Thanks a lot for telling me to come up here.
没错我真是个大好人
Yup, that was great of me.
这里真的非常浪漫
This place is really romantic.
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
呃其实没有那么浪漫啦
Uh, not that romantic, actually.
我们那屋的暖气片听着像女人在嚎叫
The radiator in our room sounds like a woman screaming.
对而且我们的卫生间里还有只死乌鸦
Yeah, oh, and there was a dead crow in our toilet.
你们应该投诉一下
You should complain about that.
我们那屋可温馨了里面有个壁炉
Our place is really nice. It's got a fireplace.
我真想和你依偎在炉边取暖
I'm gonna snuggle up next to that thing with you.
不我不想那么做
No, I don't want to do that.
因为那样容易得癌
'Cause of the cancer risks.
很多人都不知道这一点
Most people don't know this,
其实坐在火旁边对健康的危害远大于
but sitting by a fire is actually worse than
吸一辆公车的尾气管
sucking on a tailpipe of a bus.
啊因为细菌多呀
Ah, because of the germs.
是烟气多
Fumes.
这样呀
Oh.
我们刚开始约会的时候
You know, when we first started dating,
Amy和我在波科诺斯找到了一家不错的家庭旅馆
Amy and I found this really nice B&B up in the Poconos.
还得到了划算的员工折扣价
We got that sweet city employee discount.
还记得吗宝贝
Remember that, babe?
Teddy 别磨蹭了快点饮料
Teddy, think fast. Drink menu.
诶哟
Ow.
抱歉不小心"碰"到你了
I'm sorry, man. Chucked that right at you.
我只是觉得你应该很想喝点啥
I just thought you really wanted a drink.
我从来都不用看饮料单
I never need a drink menu.
喝啤酒我只选皮尔森
I got the thrills for the pils.
因为我最喜欢皮尔森啤酒
'Cause I'm a pilsner man.
喔我不知道呢 - 这样啊
Oh, I hadn't heard. - Yeah.
够了
That's it.
我控制不住自己了
I can't stop myself.
耶利哥耶利哥耶利哥
Jericho, Jericho, Jericho!
哎嘛
Ow!
这就是你浑身的解数吗
That's pulling out all the stops?
怎么回事
What's going on?
我想分了
I want to break it up.
和你分了
Us.
我想和你分了
I want to break us up.
各位好呀
Hey, folks.
欢迎来到枫滴旅馆
Welcome to the maple drip inn.
大家都很期待来这里吗
Everyone excited to be here?
玩得开心吗
We having a good time?
不开心
We are not.
好了 Gina
All right, Gina.
我们得马上行动了
We have to act soon.
刚才Diaz灌下去的那瓶感冒药
That cold medicine Diaz chugged...
是让人精神亢奋的那种
It was the non-drowsy kind.
她现在满地乱跑啊
She's all over the place.
嗨嗨嗨嗨告诉你哟
Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Guess what.
我又有一条可以审问嫌犯的新线索了
I got a new lead to ask my perp about.
那线索是州街上的一个毒枭
It's a drug dealer on State Street.
哎哟
Oh!
怎么没人接电♥话♥呀
Why doesn't someone answer that phone?
我来我来接
Get it. I'll get it.
你好
Hello.
不这没有叫Michael的
No, there's no Michael here.
你打错了再见
You have the wrong number. Good-bye.
我叫Michael啊
I'm Michael.
这名字真蠢不过这是你的名字
That's a dumb name, but it's yours,