神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E06

Part 2 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:03 p.m.

Way to be.
还有最后一样东西
Uh, there is one last thing.
我们这周末计划的豪华性♥爱♥活动
The luxury sex romp we had planned this weekend.
酒店说 "泡泡与浴袍"套餐是不可退的
The hotel says the "Bubbles and bathrobes" Package is non-refundable.
看到没所以我不想要先付定金 Charles
See, that's why I didn't want to pre-pay, Charles.
是啊但有定金我们才能拿到那么划算的优待
Yeah, but that's why we got such a good deal.
一个小时免费无线网
One hour of free Wi-Fi!
别担心你可以拿回你的那份钱
Don't worry, you can have your half of the money back,
然后房♥间就归我
and I'll take the room.
等一下
Pause.
好了如果我们之中有一个得以整夜放纵的话
Okay, if one of us is getting pampered all night,
那个人将会是我
it's gonna be me.
我想要那个房♥间 Gina
I want that room, Gina.
你不能再指挥我了
You can't push me around.
我们不再是炮♥友♥了
We're not poke pals anymore!
恶心
Ew!
Amy Santiago
Amy Santiago,
看到你到处走我很吃惊
surprised to see you walking around.
你不应该正蜷缩在自己肚子上吗你这蛇一样的女人
Shouldn't you be on your belly, you snake?
出自<圣经旧约·创世纪>上帝对蛇的诅咒
是啊你这条蛇
Yeah, you snake!
发生什么了
What is happening?
你要跟我竞选
You're running against me.
什么肯定是Rosa干的
What? Rosa must've done this.
我会让她停下来
I'll get her to stop.
你知道最让我难过的是什么吗
You know what really burns my pants?
我把你当成我最好的朋友
I considered you my best friend.
什么
What?
嗨 - 嘿
Hi. - Hey now.
你看起来很开心嘛
You are looking very happy.
的确是
I am.
猜猜昨晚发生了什么
Guess what happened last night.
剧透警告滚床单
Spoiler alert. Sexy-times.
好了猜吧
Okay, now guess.
滚床单
Sexy-times!
是的整晚都很棒
Yes! The whole night was amazing.
我们完全合得来
We totally hit it off.
我找到了我们的共同喜好鸡翅
I found our meat loaf. Wings.
是乐队还是那个电视剧
The band or the show?
Wings 一部90年代的美国喜剧
是食物
The food!
我们回到她家
We went back to her place,
看了<虎胆龙威>系列的第三部
watched die hards one through with a vengeance,
做了点成人活动然后用剩下的时间
did some adult stuff, and spent the rest of the night
争论谁是更好的乒乓球手
debating who's the better ping-pong player.
她可是很傻很天真呢
She was adorably wrong.
你们又没打怎么知道
How do you know if you didn't play?
我们打了但麻烦的是她家没有球桌和球拍
Oh, we played, which was difficult since she didn't have a table or paddles.
我们不得不用牛油果核来当球
We had to use an avocado pit as the ball.
场面一团乱
It was very messy.
嘿伙计们
Hey guys.
你好地区检察官Kurm
Ah, hello, district attorney Kurm.
我昨晚滚床单了哟
I got lucky last night.
不错嘛
That's great.
是啊
Yeah.
审讯得推迟一会了
So we have a little delay.
被告律师Gary 今天来不了了
Gary, the defense attorney, isn't gonna be here.
噢是在和他救出来的罪犯击掌的时候受伤的吗
Oh, is he sore from high-fiving criminals he's gotten out of jail?
他是在庆祝时被自己救下的谋杀犯谋杀了吗
Did he get a murderer off who then murdered him to celebrate?
说得好
Yup.
总之 Gary的腿断了所以会有人来代替他
Anyway, Gary broke his leg, so he's being replaced.
代替他应该被安乐死
Replaced? He should be put down.
像一头马一样
Like a horse.
所以又从人♥渣♥堆里找来了谁啊
So who's the new sub-human piece of human garbage?
Sophia Perez
Sophia Perez.
天呐
Oh, God.
Jake 这样很不好
Jake, this is bad!
你和辩方律师上了床
You slept with a defense attorney.
你这是和敌人"通奸"了啊 - 我知道
You literally slept with the enemy. - I know.
是这就像<虎胆龙威>的John McClane和Hans Gruber上♥床♥一样
Ah, it's like if John McClane slept with Hans Gruber.
John McClane片中正派男主角 Hans Gruber片中反派大头目
甚至更糟像和第三部里Jeremy Irons饰演的那个反派上♥床♥
Or even worse, Jeremy irons from the third one.
我们都没提工作我怎么知道她是律师
We didn't talk about our jobs. How was I supposed to know?
等等你确定要来一发
Wait, are you sure you want to do this?
我们回顾一下今晚发生的事件
Let's go over the events of tonight.
我们一起喝醉了
We got drunk together,
我邀请你来我的公♥寓♥ 我主动吻了你
I invited you up to my apartment, and I kissed you first.
没有其他问题了 - 好的
No further questions. - Okay.
不妙她在向你招手
Uh-oh. She's waving at you.
你好呀好了我去跟她谈谈
Hey. All right, I'm gonna go talk to her.
强硬一点 - 好的
Be strong. - Okay.
嘿 - 嘿这真诡异对不
Hey. - Hey, so this is weird, huh?
是啊你从没说过你是个警♥察♥
Yeah. You never told me you were a cop.
对啊你也没告诉我你是个律师
Yeah, and you never told me you were a lawyer.
我是不想吓到你
Well, I didn't wanna intimidate you.
吓到呵呵
Intimidate? Wow.
好吧不是我打击你
Okay, well, not to burst your bubble,
能吓到我的只有那些有道德感的职业
but I'm only intimidated by professions that have a moral compass,
比如警♥察♥
like police officer.
所以说你被你自己的工作吓到了
So you're intimidated by your own job?
"快看我我是个律师我擅长'措辞态'"
"Oh, look at me. I'm a lawyer. I'm so good at word-using-itude."
好吧我知道刚说的不是个词
And yes, I know that that wasn't a word, right.
你知道吗
Okay, you know what?
我不敢相信我得跟你周♥旋♥一周
I can't even believe I have to deal with you all week.
不成问题
Not a problem.
这情况明显是有利益冲突
This is clearly a conflict of interest.
所以我会去和法官谈谈
So I'm just gonna talk to the judge
然后你从这个案子里滚蛋
and have you kicked off the case.
哈哈没有什么利益(兴趣)冲突
Ha ha! No, there's no conflict of interest.
因为我对你根本没兴趣 - 这样啊
Because I'm not interested in you. - Ah.
老天真是瞎眼了睡了个条子
God, I can't believe I slept with a cop.
就像睡了Hans Gruber一样
It's like a had sex with Hans Gruber.
什么我不是Gruber 你才是Gruber
What... I'm not the Gruber! You're the Gruber!
<虎胆龙威>
Die Hard.
警监 Rosa逼着我去竞选工会代表
Captain, Rosa's trying to make me run for union rep.
你得阻止她 - 我不能插手
You have to stop her. - I cannot do that.
我已经说过了我不能掺和进来
As I told you, I'm not allowed to get involved.
反正为时已晚你已经有了一个竞选口号♥了
It's too late anyway. You already have a campaign slogan.
"选我呀傻蛋们" 我想出来的
"Pick Amy, dummies." I wrote that.
警监你告诉她这口号♥有多赞
Tell her how good it is, captain.
重申不能插手
Again, I cannot.
听着我喜欢竞选喜欢做标语
Look, I love campaigning and making signs.
天地可鉴我家的海报板绝对够用
Lord knows I have enough poster board at home.
但是警监拜托你告诉她我不该竞选工会代表
But captain, please tell her I shouldn't run for union rep.
我还是把我的椅子转过去吧
I'm just gonna turn around in my chair.
那么Amy 你的意思是我该归还这个
So, Amy, you're saying I should just return this...
徽章制♥作♥器
Button maker?
你觉得一个T150型号♥的制♥作♥器就能利诱我了
You think you can tempt me with a t150 button maker?
长官你真该来瞧瞧
Sir, you've gotta see this.
这玩意儿连背面抛光都做不了
It doesn't even make mirror-backs.
丢死人了
This is a joke.
我不会插手的我在看杂♥志♥
Still not participating. I'm enjoying a magazine.
丢人的是你 Amy
Joke's on you, Amy.
明天你和Scully要在简报室做竞选演讲
You and Scully are giving campaign speeches in the briefing room tomorrow.
什么
What?
长官请求批准以老流氓罪逮捕Diaz
Sir, permission to arrest Diaz for being a jerk.
请求批准以胆小鬼罪射杀Santiago
Permission to shoot Santiago for being a coward.
你们两个都打住
Stop it, both of you.
你们成功了
Now you've done it.
逼得我为你们转身了
You've made me turn my chair.
我不会插手的
I will not get involved,
也不会让这个办公室变得满屋子都是唇枪舌剑
and I will not have this office transformed into a house of snipes and jabs.