神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E06

Part 4 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:03 p.m.

但是说真的你得去做个狂犬病化验
But seriously, I think you need to get checked for rabies.
我认识一个很会做狂犬病化验的人你要不
Hey, I have a good rabies guy, if you need one.
嗯好的听着
Uh-huh. All right, listen.
我们能不能专注起来
Can we focus up?
我们的证人根本没用所以我们要做的是
Our witness is useless, so we
要么找回丢失的宝石要么找出作案工具
either need to recover the stolen gems or find the break-in tool.
嫌犯的房♥子是哪年造的呀
What year was the perp's house built in?
这些褐石建筑里有的还装着升降机
Some of those old brownstones had dumbwaiters.
绝妙的窝藏点
A perfect hiding spot.
想法不错 Amy
Good thinking, Amy.
好了我要赢下这个案子
All right, I'm gonna win this case
然后我们就能把我糟糕的做♥爱♥经历
and then we can put my horrible sexual experience
抛在脑后了 - 真的吗 Jake
behind us forever. - I don't know Jake.
恐怕我以后只要看到你的裤裆就会想起这事
I'm afraid I'm gonna think about it every time I look at your crotch.
那就别看着我的裤裆了好吗
Then stop looking at my crotch!
你搞什么呢
What are you doing?
只是让大家注意到那唯一一位
Just pointing people to the one Detective
愿意当选工会代表的探员
who actually wants to run for union rep.
欢迎来到我的噩梦里 Amy头Scully身兽
Welcome to my nightmares, Amy-Scully minotaur.
你还机智地给我报名了下午的演讲啊
Pretty clever signing me up for the speech this afternoon.
但你猜怎么着
But guess what?
我的演讲是无与伦比地又臭又长
Mine is epically bad and way too long.
其中有一段我还指名道姓地揪人出来
There's a section where I just pick people out
当众侮辱他们
of the crowd and insult them.
这可让人恨得牙痒痒
It gets really personal.
你知不知道Hitchcock真的是个"小杂种"
Did you know that Hitchcock is technically "A bastard"?
Santiago 来我办公室谈谈
Santiago, can I talk to you in my office?
好嘞
Mm-hmm.
窗帘大关
Blinds closed?
我们是要开小灶吗
Are we having a pow-wow?
你也知道
As you know,
我不该跟任何一个探员谈论这次竞选
I shouldn't be talking about this election with any of my detectives,
但我这次破例跟你说
but I will with you.
没问题
Of course.
因为你信任我
Because you trust me.
因为你在冠冕堂皇地糊弄事
Because you're royally screwing up.
完蛋了这不是开小灶
Oh, no, this isn't a pow-wow.
这是劈头痛斥
It's a haranguing.
完全没错
You bet it is.
别想着搞砸这次竞选了
Stop trying to tank this election.
你明知道自己能做个出色的工会代表
You know damned well you'd make a great union rep.
但是长官我还想当上警监呢
But, sir, I want to be captain one day,
而且冲撞上司相当于扼杀自己的职业
and clashing with the brass is career suicide.
对我来说不是
Not for me.
本性使然以前的我经常会和上司发生冲突
By my very nature, I was constantly in conflict with my superiors.
听着你是个黑人基佬
Listen, you're black and gay,
我认为你该接手所有黑人基佬的案子
so I think you should just take all the black, gay cases.
明白吧那些怪异的玩意
You know, the weird stuff.
本人强烈反对
I strongly disagree.
但我还是加官晋爵了
But I still managed to rise through the ranks.
竞选工会代表吧 Amy
Run for union rep, Amy.
好吧我会去的
Okay. I'll do it.
但不要跟任何人提起这次
But never tell anyone about this...
开小灶
Pow-wow.
你管这叫"开小灶"啦
You called it a pow-wow!
那么 Peralta探员
So, Detective Peralta,
你昨晚找到了些"新"证据
you found some "New" Evidence last night.
更正一下我昨晚发现了毁灭性的新证据
Correction. I found some damning new evidence last night.
它就被藏在被告家中的旧升降机里
It was hidden in an old dumbwaiter in the defendant's house.
他的全部作案工具
All his burglary tools,
包括一个他用于闯入店内的玻璃刀
including a glass cutter he used to break into the store.
没错但我的客户难道就不能
Yes, but isn't it possible my client could've used
将玻璃刀用于盗窃以外的事情吗
the glass cutter for something other than a robbery?
毕竟 "有些东西"的能一件两用对不对
I mean, after all, stuff can do two things, right?
嗨那是我说的
Hey! I say that!
那是我的话
That's my saying!
法官大人她在盗用我的话
Your honor, she stole my saying.
"话"不是个人所有物
People don't own sayings.
请回答问题探员
Please answer the question, Detective.
好吧在装有作案工具的袋子里
Fine. In the same bag as the burglary tools,
我们还发现了玻璃碎片
we also found shards of glass.
你还指望我们能相信
And you expect us to believe
你在这个案件情况不利的时候
that you found this new evidence yesterday
真的是"找"到了新的证据吗
just as your case was collapsing around you?
我当然希望如此因为这是事实
I certainly hope so, because it's the truth.
其实我相信是伟大的John Adams
In fact, I believe it was the great John Adams
说过 "相信所有人都会坦诚是愚蠢的"
who once said, "To believe all men honest is folly.
"然而谁都不信就更加糟糕"
To believe none... Is something worse."
请记录下"Perez小姐看起来震惊又挫败"
Let the record show miss Perez looks stunned and defeated.
没有问题了
No further questions.
你无权那么说 - 明白了
You're not allowed to say that. - Yup.
嗨警监我有个小小的Boyle金言想要告诉你
Hey, captain, I have a juicy little Boyle nugget I'd like to drop on you.
好的请说出金言吧
Okay, please drop a nugget.
我觉得小队的工作效率还可以提高
I think that the squad could really increase its efficiency
只要Gina连夜给我们的文档加关键词就行
if Gina spent the night re-logging all our files with keywords.
彼女诚善此技
The lady doth have the skills.
有意思她刚告诉我说你应该加夜班
Funny, she was just telling me how you should work all night.
你说啥
Say what?
Gina
Gina.
在
Yes?
对于这里的工作量问题
You've both made compelling points
你们俩都表达了自己独到的见解
about the amount of work that needs to be done around here,
那你们俩就一起加夜班吧
so you'll both be pulling overnight shifts.
在你絮叨之前我会再一次地把椅子转回去
Before you complain, I am once again turning in my chair.
喔美妙的一转这才是真正的霹雳一转
Oh, sweet chair turn. That's a real powermove.
这下好极了
So good.
我们陪审团认为被告人
We, the jury, find the defendant...
无罪 - 诶哟搞啥啊
Not guilty. - Oh, come on!
嗷
Ow!
我疼得已经顾不上刚才的那一拍
Oh, I'm in too much pain to care
显得我有多么威武雄壮了
how cool and strong that made me look.
那已经东西已经裂得差不多了
It was already splintering.
能给我留点面子吗
Don't take this away from me.
哟呵干得不错又一个罪犯逃之夭夭了
Wow, well done. Another criminal walks free.
你现在自豪了吧
I hope you're proud of yourself.
不要再管我的客户叫罪犯了
Maybe stop calling my client a criminal,
因为他被判定无罪了
since he was found not guilty.
那我判定我和你绝交也是无罪的
Well, I find myself not guilty of never seeing you again.
所以你是不打算和我绝交的吗
So you will see me again?
才不是
No!
怎么回事我说了啥
Why, what did I say?
我告诉你你真是个烂人
You know what? You're the worst!
Jake 你干嘛呢伙计
Jake, what are you doing, man?
生气地走向一扇门
Walking angrily away towards a door
然后看到上面写着"仅限紧急情况使用"
that I now see says "Emergency exit only" On it,
于是我转身回来但我还是气得快炸了
so I'm turning around, but I'm still ticked!
听着伙计别把这事搞砸了
Look, man. Don't screw this up.
和别的理智的成年人一样我也恨着辩护律师
I hate defense attorneys as much as any rational adult,
但你明显对Sophia还有感觉
but you obviously have feelings for Sophia.
没错愤怒的感觉
Yeah, anger.
我不知道
I don't know.
在我看来你好像遇到了另一半
It just seems to me like you met your match.
你自己也老是说约会无聊乏味
You said yourself how boring your dates have been.
但你得承认 Sophia就不无聊
But you have to admit, Sophia wouldn't be boring.
我会承认她不无聊
I will admit she's not boring.
而且我们俩的确玩得很开心
And we do have fun together.
你可以说她是"还算有吸引力"
I guess you could say she's passably attractive.
好吧好吧她性感撩人
All right, fine. She's super hot.
老天我竟然要约辩护律师出去
God, I can't believe I'm about to ask out a defense attorney.
我们都知道Amy Santiago想要成为一名警监
And we all know that Amy Santiago wants to be captain one day,