神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E15

Part 2 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:05 p.m.

公交车司机卖♥♥冰激凌的
Bus drivers, ice cream men.
小公主
Princesses.
那你几岁就立志成为一个笑柄了
So when exactly did you decide you wanted to be a butt?
上大学的时候吗 - 上法学院的时候
Was it college? - Law school.
就是想让你知道我上过法学院
Just wanted to let you know that I went to law school.
在笑柄大学吗
At Butt University?
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
我在为咱们出头
I'm standing up for us.
别担心那家伙没什么厉害的
Don't worry about it, that guy doesn't matter.
好了大家都坐下吧
All right. Everybody, take their seats.
我是Kendrick探员国安局的
My name is Agent Kendrick, Homeland Security.
我是这儿的负责人
And I am in charge here.
警长我错了他厉害着呐
Sarge, I was wrong. He totally matters.
今年的情景是
This year's scenario.
恐♥怖♥分♥子♥袭击了投资信托大厦并绑♥架♥了人♥质♥
Terrorists have stormed the Capital Trust bank building and have taken hostages.
真炫酷
Noice!
哦这个把戏真酷
Oh, cool trick.
我可没有大把时间练习击掌
I don't have a ton of free time to practice high-fiving.
可你刚拿那个取笑了我们
You just made fun of us for that.
为了练习一下那还是我们第一次尝试呢
For practicing, that's the first time we ever tried it.
这是你们的任务
Here are your assignments.
防爆局你们扮演恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
ATF, you will be our terrorists.
哦那真挺艰巨
Ooh, that's a rough draw.
国安局你们来指挥
Homeland Security, you are Command Control.
法警作为第一突击队
Marshals, Strike Team Alpha.
然后纽约警局呢
And NYPD?
直升机狙击手直升机狙击手
Helicopter snipers, helicopter snipers.
这上面说你们要做我们的人♥质♥
Says here you will be our hostages.
什么
What?
你们想让我们干躺在地上
So you just want us to lie on the ground
什么也不干就像一帮废柴
and do nothing, like a bunch of losers?
是的完全正确
Yes, precisely.
不行 - 中头奖了
No. - Jackpot.
能绑松点让我能时不时地看看手♥机♥吗
Can you leave me some wiggle room so I can check my phone periodically?
为什么等你妈妈的短♥信♥吗
Why? Waiting for your mom to text?
不实际上我在等一个和我分手的女孩给我发短♥信♥
No, actually, I'm waiting for a girl who broke up with me to text.
那更糟心 - 是的太糟心了
That's way worse. - Yeah, it's bad.
太衰了
This sucks.
我刚被女神甩了
I just got dumped by a mega-fox
他们还不让我拿个狙♥击♥枪♥发泄一下
and no one's letting me shoot a big gun about it.
好了你猜怎么着去他的吧
All right, you know what? Screw this.
我才不要像个废柴一样坐在这里
I'm not gonna just sit here like a loser.
Boyle 给我松绑然后我帮你咱们要反♥攻♥
Boyle, free me, then I'll free you. We're fighting back.
不 Jake
No, Jake.
咱们得好好表现这样明年才能再次被邀请
We are behaving so we can be invited again next year.
警长恕我直言我决定完全无视你刚说的那些
Sarge, with all due respect, I am going to completely ignore everything you just said.
好吧 Charles
Okay, Charles.
咱们的手被绑了所以得用嘴
Our hands are tied so we're gonna have to use our mouth.
聪明
Smart.
用我的唾液把胶布濡湿
Wet the tape down with my saliva
直到你能从里面滑出来
until you could slip right out.
不咬它很明显得咬它
No, bite it. Obviously, bite it.
我真心不喜欢讨厌(臭)的东西
I don't like it. Something stinks.
好吧抱歉
Well, I'm sorry.
但是我拒绝用各种化学物质把我天然的麝香味盖起来
But I refuse to mask my natural musk with a bunch of chemicals.
恶我指的是Rosa和她的"父母"共进"晚餐"
Uh, I was talking to Rosa about her "Dinner" with her "Parents."
我的确要和我爸妈吃饭
I am having dinner with my parents.
好吧骗子
Okay, liar.
那你们要去哪家餐厅
What restaurant are you going to?
我不知道一家意大利餐馆
I don't know, some Italian place.
哦意大利挺讲的通的匹诺曹
Oh, Italian? Makes sense, Pinocchio.
他也是个骗子还是个意大利的
He's a liar too, and Italian.
我解释得太多了
I over explained it.
好了最后一个问题
Okay, last question.
你最喜欢那一种水域
What body of water do you most identify with?
A湖 B河 C海洋
A, lake, B, river, C, ocean.
哦这不是认真的吧我肯定选海洋
Oh, they can't be serious. Of course I choose ocean.
我讨厌海洋
I hate the ocean.
那个高傲的婊♥子♥Rose在海上眼看着Leo淹死了
That's where that stuck-up bitch Rose let Leo die.
那扇门可是足够大的
There was plenty of room on that door.
好了电脑正在制表
Okay, the computer is tabulating.
你在I9 C3 G6这一类里
You got category I9 C3 G6.
I9 C3 G6 这一类和听起来一样好吗
I9 C3 G6. Is that as good as it sounds?
你有很强的自我意识
You have a robust sense of self
很适合领导职位
and are well suited to leadership positions.
性格意志非凡坚韧不拔
Characteristics... strength, determination, tenacity.
是的我觉得很准确
Yes, I suppose that's accurate.
在乡村俱乐部里他们的确都叫我顽强Ray
They do call me Tenacious Ray down at the country club.
因为过去的十年里
Because for the past 10 years,
我一直在起诉他们歧视
I've been suing them for discrimination.
我对这份测试很满意
I'm very pleased with this assessment.
当然
You should be.
我也做了测试而且结果也是I9 C3 G6
I took the test too and I also got an I9 C3 G6.
什么
What?
咱们得了一样的分数吗
We got the same score?
这玩意真是准疯了
It's just crazy how accurate this thing is.
是的疯了
Yes. Crazy.
好了警长我给你松绑
All right, Sarge. Now to cut you loose.
不了我就这么待在这了
No, I'm staying tied up.
我不在乎Kendrick有多混♥蛋♥
I don't care how much of a jerk Kendrick is.
我要和你们的行动划清界限
I want it to be clear I had no part in this.
无意冒犯你真是浪费了你的肌肉
No offense, but you are a huge waste of muscles.
好吧 Boyle
Okay, Boyle.
门外有两个看守
There's two guards outside this door.
我们得搞到他们的枪你知道该怎么干
We need their guns. You know what to do.
打晕他们吗
Beat 'em up?
假装不舒服然后把他们引到这里
Pretend to be sick and lure them in here.
好 Charles大♥法♥
Right. The Charles.
我们开始了
Here we go.
救命
Help!
我需要帮助我不舒服
I need help. I'm sick.
这是演习的一部分吗怎么了
Is this part of the drill? What's wrong?
我有季节性情感障碍
I have Seasonal Affective Disorder.
什么
What?
这是一种很严重的疾病上百万的美国人都有
It's a serious condition that affects millions of Americans.
搞什么呢
What the hell?
我们要反♥攻♥了你们这些蠢包恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
We're fighting back, you terrorist crap sack.
还有感谢你们让我们来参加这次演习
Also, thank you for including us in this event.
你在外面还有个伙伴对吧
You got a partner outside, right?
叫他进来
Call him in here.
我需要帮忙
I need help!
嘘你已经死了
Shh. You're dead.
待会儿见废柴们
See you later, losers.
一辈子只有这么一次机会
Again, opportunity of a lifetime.
真是一次励志的经历
Just a real positive experience.
好了我们要分散他们的注意力
All right, we need to distract them.
你有可以扔出去的东西吗
Do you have anything I can throw?
我有个狗牌
I have a dog tag.
美军胸前佩戴的身份牌俗称"狗牌"
还挺炫酷的呀 Boyle
Oh, that is bad ass, Boyle.
不是吧这真的是给狗带的狗牌啊
No... it's an actual tag for a dog.
是的 Molly的
Yep. Molly.
它是我小时候养的卷毛小狗
She was my poodle growing up.
第一次总是忘不了
Never forget your first.
你第一次干啥
Your first what?
养狗
Dog.
"第一次"绝对不是这个意思
That is never what people mean by that.
等你们到地狱的时候向Molly问好
When you get to hell, say hi to Molly.
什么为什么Molly在地狱
What? Why is Molly in hell?
因为那比天堂听起来带感
Cause it sounds cooler than heaven.
嗬 - 啊