神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E14

Part 2 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:04 p.m.

That's crazy. They're the enemy.
我知道你什么意思了
I see what you mean.
Jake 我真的很喜欢你
Jake, I really like you,
但我的工作对我也真的很重要
but my job's really important to me, too.
我们能按下暂停吗
Can we press pause on this?
按下暂停
Press pause?
等到我知道要怎么应付我上司就好了
Just until I figure out what to do with my boss.
可以吗
Is that okay?
所以只是因为你上司吗
So this is just about your boss?
好吧好那就按下暂停吧
Okay. Yes, let's press pause.
来好好地暂他一停
Let's pause the hell out of this.
就像我暂停<运转乾坤>里的
Let's pause this like I pause
杰米李柯蒂斯一样地暂停吧
Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places.
我没看过那片但我猜她是裸着的
I haven't seen that movie, but I'm assuming she's naked.
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
"暂停"感觉不太好啊 Jake
"Pause" Seems bad, Jake.
你怎么没有更难过
Why aren't you more upset?
因为Sophia的问题不是我
Because Sophia's problem isn't with me,
是她的蠢上司
it's with her dumb boss.
这是我可以解决的
That's something I can fix.
我要让他喜欢我
I'm gonna make him like me.
这是目标 Geoffrey Hoytsman
Here is the target... Geoffrey Hoytsman.
现在根据网络搜索
Now, according to the internet,
他的兴趣是滑雪他的梗犬
his interests are: skiing, his terrier,
大西洋城电影<为奴十二年> 还有大自然
Atlantic City, the film 12 Years a Slave, and nature.
很显然大自然超级无聊
Obviously nature is super boring,
而奴隶电影有点冒险
and the slave film is a little bit dicey.
非常冒险 - 是啊
It's real dicey. - Yeah.
所以我会把话题集中在滑雪和大西洋城
So I will focus mainly on skiing and Atlantic city
等我今晚去布鲁克林公设辩护人协会的
when I talk to him tonight at the fundraiser
募捐会上和他聊天的时候
for The Association of Brooklyn Public Defenders,
又名屁♥股♥云集之室
A.K.A. The Chamber of Asses.
不等等这么叫太性感了
No, wait. That's too sexy.
奸人云集之室
The Chamber of Snakes.
总之活动八点开始
Anyway, it starts at 8:00,
所以你要准备换装了
so you should probably get dressed.
什么我才不会去呢
What? I am not going to that.
拜托了警长来吧
Please, Sarge. Just come.
为了我为了爱
Do it for me. Do it for love.
妈的 Jake 你知道Terry很爱爱的
Damn, Jake. You know Terry loves love.
我加入 - 好了
I'm in. - All right!
挂上你最假的笑容
Now put on your phoniest smile
因为我们要深入野兽之腹了
'cause we're going into the belly of the beast.
再假点
Phonier.
再假点
Phonier!
啊这就对了要上了
Ah, there it is. Into the beast!
最恶劣的敌人们都在这儿了
All of our worst enemies are here.
棕发男马尾女
Brown hair guy. Pony tail lady.
亚洲版唐钱德尔
Asian Don Cheadle.
美国演员 <卢旺达饭店>主演
我拒绝知道他们的名字
I refuse to learn their names
因为名字让他们人性化
because it humanizes them.
但你绝不会忘记他们自以为是的律师脸
But you'll never forget their smug lawyer faces.
每一张脸都带起一段详细的恐怖记忆
Each one brings back a specific, horrible memory.
就像法庭版创伤后应激障碍
Like courtroom PTSD.
无能
Incompetent!
笨蛋
Idiot!
薄荷糖
Mint?
那个薄荷糖可能会让我噎住呢
I could have choked on that mint
那些人不错的也都是精神病
Even the nice ones are psychopaths.
好了来吧加油鼓劲
All right. Let's get fired up.
重击我的肩膀 - 这我擅长
Pound on my shoulders. - That's my stuff.
等等不别伤害我
Wait! Wait! No, don't hurt me!
啊这主意不好我还是自己来吧
Ah, that was a bad idea. I'll bang my own sulders.
上吧
Let's go.
警探请坐
Detective, have a seat.
我正在和一个十分恼人的难题作斗争
I am grappling with a highly vexing conundrum.
对于副局长Wuntch该怎么做吗
What to do about Deputy Chief Wuntch?
正是如此
Precisely.
我可以搞砸她的升职
I could torpedo her promotion.
光是这么说说就给我的灵魂注入了喜悦
Just saying it brims my soul with joy.
但这么做
But to do so
就说明她会继续待在这纽约城
would mean that she stays here in New York City
像只白化蝙蝠一般悬在我头上
hanging over me like an albino bat.
换个角度讲如果我"表扬"了Wuntch
On the other hand, if I "Praise" Wuntch,
她就会离开这个城市
she will leave this city,
拨开云雾见青天
the clouds will part,
孩子们都会高歌♥"Wutch已经走了"
and the children will sing "Wuntch is gone."
哪儿来的孩子们
What children?
所有的孩子们
All the children.
好吧那问题太不过脑子了
Right. That was a stupid question.
警长的建议是什么来着
What was Sarge's advice?
哎哟咱俩都清楚圣母Jeffords会说些什么
Oh, you and I both know what Mother Jeffords would say.
"做事凭良心"
"Take the high road."
但是我找的人是你
But I asked you,
Diaz探员因为你深知"复仇"的含义
Detective Diaz, because you understand vengeance.
的确如此
Yes, I do.
以前我有过一个死对头
I had a nemesis once:
Carla Bianchi
Carla Bianchi.
她招惹了我
She wronged me,
于是我就像拍死虫子一样拍死了她
and I crushed her like a gnat between my fingers.
我让二年级的她休学了
I got her suspended from the second grade.
才二年级
Second grade?
那个小蠢货把所有好用的马克笔都藏起来了
That little turd hoarded all the good markers.
但到头来她还是回学校了
But eventually, she came back to school.
并且在之后的十年里让我生不如死
And she made the next ten years of my life miserable.
那么做不值得
It's not worth it.
对Wuntch好点
Be nice to Wuntch.
"对Wuntch好点"
"Be nice to Wuntch?"
你出去吧
You may go now,
圣母Diaz
mother Diaz.
烦死了大家都在看着我们
I hate this. Everyone is looking at us.
只因为我们是同样健壮的夜礼服美男
Only because we're equally massive, beautiful men in tuxes.
Sophia
Sophia.
嗨女朋友
Heeeeeeey, girlfriend.
比预料中的浮夸了一些
That came out saucier than I was expecting.
没错
Yeah...
嗨 Jake 你来这里做什么
Hey, Jake, What are you doing here?
我们不是说好要"按下暂停"吗
I thought we agreed to press pause.
是的呀我不是来找你的
We did. I'm not here to see you.
我是来找你老板Geoffery Hoystman的
I'm here to see your boss, Geoffrey Hoytsman.
我要和他交朋友
We're gonna bond.
哦天哪
Oh, God.
哦的确是"太好啦"
Oh, good indeed.
你这是故意听错我的话吧
You misheard me on purpose.
有可能吧听着我马上就去魅惑他
Possibly. Look, I'm gonna charm him.
他就会再给你分些好的案子
He's going to start giving you the good cases again.
肯定会成功的
This is gonna work.
不根本没戏
No, it's not.
我该怎么给你解释呢
How can I explain this?
喔对了
Oh, Okay.
想象一下这个屋子都是高智商机器人
Imagine this room is full of super-intelligent robots...
他们执意要消灭人类
Hell-bent on ending humanity,
而你作为工人阶级的人类
and you are a working-class human
却误打误撞地进了他们的老巢
who just entered their swarm-hive.
不错我爱这个也爱你继续吧
Okay, love this, love you, keep going.
你第一次向我表达爱意的时刻居然这么诡异
Oh, that's a really weird moment to say you love me for the first time.
糟糕哦 - 真的吗
Oh no. - Was it?
这件事我还是一笔带过吧
I'm just gonna blow past that.
听着重点是机器人是不会被你魅惑的
Look, the point is, you can't charm robots.
你还是趁他们把你扒皮割脑前赶紧跑吧
So you should go before they pod you and harvest your brain.