神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E03

Part 2 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:02 p.m.

早上有谁检查相机吗
Did someone check out the camera this morning?
有 Hitchcock
Yes, Hitchcock.
而且他要是知道了肯定会告诉所有人的
And if he sees it, he will tell everyone.
你必须拿到那该死的录像带 - 好
You need to get that damn tape. - Okay
我们走了
We're off.
塞尔维亚总统起飞的时候给你消息
You'll get word when the Serbian President is wheels-up.
遵命警长
You got it, sarge.
我们就在这里等你们回来
We'll just be here till you get back.
老老实实安安静静地准备
Calmly and respectfully prepping.
好了他们走了
All right, they're gone!
盛典百吉饼
Ceremonial bagel.
酒瓶
Flask.
点火
Flame.
游戏开始吧
Let the games begin.
欢迎来到夹弟大赛
Welcome to the Jimmy Jabs.
我们为荣誉而战
We play for pride.
为Rosa朋友的号♥码而战
We play for the phone numbers of Rosa's friends.
最重要的是
But most importantly,
为打败Amy而战
we play to watch Amy lose.
不今年我运势很好 - 我也是
Nope. This is my year. - It's my year, too.
别拿我和你相提并论
Please don't align yourself with me.
什么别不别的
Why not?
你们从来都离第一名远着呢
Neither of you have ever come close to winning.
你们没有区别
You're exactly the same,
只是两只Santiagos而已
just a couple of santiagos.
但是真正的奖品是温彻斯特3000
But the real prize is the Winchester 3000,
全区仅此一把
the only chair in the precinct
污渍最少
with minimal staining,
完美支撑腰部
good lumbar support,
所有滑轮均完好
and no broken rolly-wheels.
接下来交给你了 Gina
Over to you, Gina.
多谢 Jake
Thank you, Jake.
好了依据惯例
Okay, guys, as usual,
每轮最后一名被淘汰
the loser of each event is eliminated from the games.
冠军会在最后一局获得额外奖励
The winner gets a bonus in the final round.
第一轮比赛是
Our first event is...
"嘴拉松"
"The mouthathon."
摆在你们面前的是在冰箱里放了一个月的中餐
In front of you is month-old Chinese food from the fridge.
尽情吃能吃多少吃多少
Go ahead and eat as much as you can stomach.
Mark也作人名 Mark Wahlberg 好莱坞男演员 <泰迪熊>男主
各就各位
On your mark,
预备
get set,
开吃
Wahlberg!
我不能这样玷污我的嘴
I can't do this to my mouth.
她是我此生挚爱
She's the love of my life.
Charles惨遭淘汰
Charles is eliminated.
呕这坨汤都烂了
Ugh, I think this ball of soup is off.
我退出
I'm out!
我能行
I can do this.
这次一定要赢
I wanna win so bad.
太好了看这里让我拍一张
Oh, great. Here, quick. Let me take a picture.
噢真可爱
Oh, that's so cute.
你鼻尖上沾了一块霉菌呢
You've got a little bit of mold on the tip of your nose.
我尽力了真的尽力了我赢不了他
I tried. I tried, but he's unbeatable.
这是免费的你们知道吧
You guys know this is free, right?
Wuntch副局长你好
Hello, deputy chief Wuntch.
你又老了
You've aged.
别站起来我们就在这外面聊
Stay seated. We can do this out here,
既然你们已经这么随意了
since you've already made yourselves comfortable.
Jeffords警长你怎么不直接躺下呢
Sergeant Jeffords, why don't you just lie down?
我已经坐得不能再直了
I can't sit any straighter than this.
我们来这里是因为一种在我们辖区出现的
We're here about a new and very potent form of ecstasy,
新型强效迷幻药
which has surfaced in our precinct.
道上人称猪咯咯
Street name, giggle pig.
你人中区域多了块尴尬的斑
Hmm, an embarrassing blight growing right under your nose.
就跟第一次见面时你留的胡子一样
Not unlike that moustache you had when we first met.
那胡子在当时很潮的
That moustache was era-appropriate.
我们辖区只需要更新毒品检测工具包
The precinct just needs updated field kits
就能解决这个问题
to help us combat the problem.
这文书写得糟透了
This paperwork is a mess.
该用冒号♥的时候用分号♥
A semicolon that should clearly be a full colon?
是哪个英文不利索的移♥民♥写的吗
Was this prepared by a recent immigrant?
只是个手误
It's just one typo.
完全是一派胡言
It's gibberish.
请求驳回
Request denied.
哇你说得真没错
Wow. You were right.
只写错了一个地方而已
All it took was one mistake.
你认为那个分号♥是我写错的吗
You think that semicolon was a mistake?
不那是一个鲜美的诱饵
No, it was a juicy piece of bait,
她张开大口整个囫囵吞下去了
and she unhinged her jaw and swallowed it whole.
所以你本来就想她拒绝我们
So you wanted her to say no to us?
用这种上不了台面的借口拒绝一份正当请求
Rejecting a valid request for such a petty reason,
足够她落下把柄在我手上了
that's all the ammunition I need to go over her head.
我偷偷安排了一个和她上司Fisker局长的会面
I secretly scheduled us a one-on-one with Madeline's boss, chief fisker.
你想听一件很好笑的事情吗
You wanna hear the funniest thing ever?
我的分离不定式错了她完全没发现
I also split and infinitive, and she didn't notice.
嘿哥们
Hey, buddy.
你看过部门录像机里的内容了吗
Did you check out the department video camera by any chance?
嗯我准备带回家给我的头顶录像
Yeah, I was gonna take it home and videotape the top of my head.
我觉得我好像有点秃顶了
I think I might be thinning up there.
不错酷
Cool, cool.
我无意落下了一卷录像带在那里面
So I accidentally left a tape in there,
现在能拿回来吗
and I want it back.
为什么你录了啥
Why? What's on it?
什么也没有
Nothing.
我就是毫无理由地需要它
I just really need it for no reason.
这样啊如果你想拿回录像带
Well, if you want that tape back,
那就得拿点东西来交换
I gotta get something in return.
你是在勒索我吗
Are you blackmailing me?
我是个穷逼 Hitchcock
I don't have any money, Hitchcock.
我叔叔葬礼上的账单我还没付清呢
I'm still paying my uncle's funeral bills.
我不小心和灵车追尾了当时情况很混乱
I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess.
我只要你帮我做一件小事
There's one thing I want, and it's not that big.
我希望你能把我变成大家眼中的酷逼
I just want you to make me cool in everyone's eyes.
这还叫小事
Not that big?
马上公布比赛的第一个淘汰者
The Jimmy jabs has claimed its first victims.
Boyle 你弱爆了
Boyle, you made no impact.
还有Scully警探由于食物中毒而退出比赛
Also, Detective Scully has withdrawn due to food poisoning,
大家应该都能预见到这事
which I think we all saw coming.
好了第二轮是"胖胖快跑"
All right, the second event is "Bulky bulky run run,"
穿防爆衣跑步比赛
the bomb suit foot race.
真心希望我不要在比赛里扭伤手臂
Sure hope I don't sprain my arm during the race,
因为我和Katie约会时要帮她开很多扇门呢
'cause I'm gonna be opening up a lot of doors for Katie on our date.
没听错我会尽现绅士风度的
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a gentleman.
你在做什么 Jake
What are you doing, Jake?
对你放狠话啊
Trash talking you,
顺便暗示你我会尊重你朋友的
while simultaneously proving that I will be respectful of your friend.
这台词很难驾驭呢
It's a tough line to walk.
要活动一下准备买♥♥花的手指
Gotta loosen up my flower-buying fingers.
我会好好"采"雏菊花的
I'm gonna go nuts on the daisies.
Mark Raffalo 美国演员在<复联>中饰演绿巨人
各就各位
On your mark...
预备
Get set...
开跑
Ruffalo!
快跑
Go!
我在跑呢 Charles
I'm doing it, Charles!
我简直酷毙了
I look cool!
嗷嗷嗷
Whaaow!
下一轮是"伪装大赛"
The next event will be "Keep your cover."
参赛者必须创造一个伪装形象
Contestants must craft an undercover persona
然后尽可能多地和警员交谈
and talk to as many police officers as you can