神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E18

Part 3 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:05 p.m.

and it causes nonstop dumps.
为了如此饕餮大小便失禁算什么
The incontinence is a small price to pay for the deliciousness.
难吃死了好吗
It's disgusting,
你推荐的餐馆也太寒碜了
and it was a terrible recommendation.
第二加拿大警方认为
Two, the Canadian cops think that
我爸利用安全许可之便
my dad used his security clearance
走私了几千片Turgidol
to smuggle in over a thousand pills of Turgidol.
加拿大国产伟哥
Canadian erection medication.
金枪不倒七次郎
Very potent.
干嘛我可不用它
What? I don't need it.
但我爱死它了
But I love it.
哎哟喂
Oh, boy.
第三他犯的案子已经是铁证如山了
Three, the case against him looks pretty solid.
第四他根本没当过Jake的好爸爸
Four, he's never been a good dad to Jake.
第五他就是我的好爸爸
Five, he has been a good dad,
尤其是在我零到七岁那会儿
especially from ages zero through seven
以及从昨天往后的日子里
and yesterday through forever.
第六翻江倒海哟
Six, non-stop dumps.
别闹了你是怎么读懂这些文件的
Enough. How did you read these files?
上面全是法语
They're in French.
Scully帮我翻译了
Scully translated them for me.
我九岁的时候家里人把我带到了巴黎
When I was nine, my parents took me to Paris,
不小心把我落在了卢浮宫里
and they accidentally left me at the Louvre.
等他们发现的时候
By the time they figured it out,
他们已经回到纽约皇后区了
they were already back in Queens.
好了Scully 没人想了解你无聊的人生
Okay, no one cares about your boring life, Scully.
焦点是我爸这事关我爸的清白
This is about my dad and proving his innocence.
长官我想去加拿大几天
Sir, I'd like to go to Canada for a few days
还我爸一个清白
and help him out.
当然但是记得把Boyle也带上
Of course, but take Boyle with you.
你最好带一个客观辨证的同伴
It'd be good to have an objective set of eyes.
好吧但我极不情愿因为他是混♥蛋♥
Fine, but under protest because he's a jerk.
还有我们想要带上Scully
Also, we'd like to take Scully with us.
那太好了
Well, perfect.
我帮你个忙你也帮我个忙
I do you a favor; You do me one too.
多谢啦
Thank you.
好我们绝对不能
All right, there is no way
让Amy和警长打败我们
we let Amy and the sarge beat us.
我们就算坐穿凳子也要把这问题想明白
We sit here until we figure this thing out.
Rosa 我的思维已经准备就绪了
Rosa, my mind is ready.
好的
Okay.
"岛上有12个人"
"There's an island with 12 men."
妈呀无聊死了我放弃了
Oh, I'm so bored. I cannot do it.
那就让我来
I can do this.
有一个人稍微重一点儿
One guy's slightly heavier.
岛上有一个跷跷板
There's a seesaw.
我知道了
I got it.
用跷跷板碾压着他们的脖子
You use the seesaw to press down on their necks
直到胖子招供
until fatty confesses.
错了 - 可恶
Incorrect. - Damn.
还很瘆人
And disturbing.
女士们先生们大家好
Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
我是这次航♥班♥的机长
This is your captain speaking.
这是我爸哟
That's my dad.
就是正在讲话的这位机长啊
The captain talking right now.
我就是从他身子里钻出来的
I came out of his body.
没啥啦
No big deal.
我们的飞机将准时降落在
We're headed for an on-time arrival
魁北克的德拉蒙德维尔
in Drummondville, Quebec.
伙计们这次航行对我来说意义重大
Folks, this is a special flight for me,
因为坐在3B座位上的人正是我的儿子Jake Peralta
because sitting in seat 3B is my son, Jake Peralta,
纽约最棒的人之一
one of New York's finest.
哎呀
Oh.
谢谢你老爸
Thanks, Dad!
我也爱你
Love you too.
不得不说他人可真好
Got to admit, it was pretty nice of him
还特地把我们调到了头等舱
to bump us up to first class.
烦死了这绒毛座椅让我屁♥股♥上出好多汗
Ugh, this plush fabric is making my rump sweat.
也许你的文化程度还没有高到
Maybe you're just a little too uncultured
能懂得享受如此高端的待遇
to enjoy such a sophisticated kind of an experience.
我的弟兄呀
Oh, brother.
你觉得怎么样啊 Scully
What do you say there, Scully, old boy?
你瞧这什锦坚果
Look at this nut mix:
有一半都是腰果诶
It's half cashews!
飞机要是不降落该多好
I hope we never land!
真大声
So loud.
嗨各位
Hey, guys.
你们喜欢坐这趟航♥班♥吗
How you enjoying the flight?
案子进展的如何了
So how's the case going?
哦还不错
Oh, good.
我们已经锁定了四个嫌疑人
We already have four suspects
他们都在机场工作
who work at the airport,
而且我想跟你的女朋友Denise聊聊
and I want to talk to your girlfriend, Denise,
因为她也能接触你的行李
because she had access to your bags.
目前恐怕不行
Not on the night in question.
她最近都在自己家里住
She's been spending some time at her place.
感情是很复杂的东西
Relationships are complicated.
你是在外面沾花惹草被她发现了吧
You cheated on her a bunch, and she found out.
好吧是我活该
Okay, I deserve that.
Charles 我是劈腿过几个前任
Charles, I have cheated on women in the past
和这个现任
and on this one too.
你看到金发就把持不住
You got a penchant for blondes.
拜托你不能责备我啊
Hey, come on, you can't blame a guy
我只是经常去凄凉的游艇酒吧抛抛锚而已嘛
for occasionally dropping anchor at the cold Commodore Club.
不过说真的Jake 这事儿没问题吗
So seriously, Jake, this is going to be okay?
当然没问题你不会有事的
Oh, yeah. You're going to be fine.
好的
Yeah.
哦我的天哪 Jake
Oh, my God, Jake.
是谁在开飞机啊
Who's flying the plane?
副驾驶员啊 Scully 还有副驾驶员呢
Co-pilot, Scully. Co-pilot.
好了听着
Okay, look.
我们换个新的方案
Let's try a new approach.
我们来比一比这三个岛民
We weigh these three islanders
和那三个岛民谁更重
against these three islanders.
如果他们一样重
If they weigh the same,
就把他们排除掉
we eliminate them,
如果他们不一样重
and if they don't,
我们就
we...
岛民们呢
Where'd they go?
Terry嘴里都是甜甜圈
Terry's mouth is full of donuts.
你不是说要"排除"他们吗
You said we could eliminate 'em!
那得是他们一样重的时候啊
Only if they weigh the same.
我们都在这呆这么久了
We've been here forever.
我都嘴馋了
I'm getting snacky.
好吧那就重新开始吧
Fine. Let's start over.
好我们来比较这仨和那仨的重量
Okay, we balance three against three,
如果他们一样重呢
and if they weigh the same,
我们就
we just...
刚才是怎么回事
What just happened?
拜托伙计
Come on, man.
不要再食用这些岛民了
Stop eating the islanders.
我这么做是为了
I'm saving them
把他们从这充斥着体重狂热的小岛上救走
from this weight-obsessed nightmare island.
所以你就杀了他们吗
By murdering them?
都警告你别用甜甜圈了
I warned you against using donuts.
甜甜圈可是我的开胃点心
They're my trigger food.
Terry啊
Terry...
这些岛民真香
These islanders are delicious.
好的所以嫌疑人中有两个在行李处工作
Okay, so two of our suspects are in the baggage area.
你能带我们进去吗
Do you think you can get us access?
我可是飞行员