神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E02

Part 4 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:02 p.m.

不好意思警监
Excuse me, captain,
我不想说是我挽救了大局
I don't want to say that I saved the day,
但我还是要说因为事实如此
but I will because I did.
看这个
So...
这是她25年前为你写的推荐信
The letter of recommendation she wrote for you 25 years ago.
你从哪搞到的
Where'd you get this?
我去了一趟警♥察♥厅
I just went down to one police plaza
施展了"Amy的诱惑"
and applied some of my signature Amy charm.
他们觉得你没完没了
And then when you wouldn't stop,
所以只好把东西给你了
they just gave it to you?
差不多
More or less.
重点是信里都是溢美之词
The point is, the letter's very positive.
你以为她写了负面的评价
You thought she wrote mean stuff about you because of
因为那晚的事
the... Night before.
但她没有
But she didn't.
这是场误会
It was all a misunderstanding.
等等
Wait a minute...
你觉得我是因为同性恋的事而毁了你的升职吗
You thought I cost you that promotion because you're gay?
这就是这么多年来你生我气的原因吗
That's what you've been mad about all these years?
原因之一
It's... one reason.
我不在乎你拒绝过我
I don't care that you rejected my advances.
你承认自己的性取向是我尊敬你原因之一
Your sexual identity is the one thing I actually respect about you.
那你为什么生气
Then what are you mad about?
我生气是因为你想害我丢掉饭碗
I'm mad because you tried to get me thrown off the force.
是啊你击中我了
Yeah, because you shot me.
我击中你是因为你站错位了
I shot you because you were in the wrong position.
你没听指令行事
You weren't following orders.
我执行卧底任务那次
What about the time you destroyed my personnel file
你毁了我的个人档案怎么说
while I was undercover?
为了防内奸
What if there had been a mole?
你想让我消失
You were trying to make me disappear.
你让我在Derek Jeter面前丢尽脸面
You embarrassed me in front of Derek Jeter!
是你自己让你在Derek Jeter面前丢尽脸面
You embarrassed yourself in front of Derek Jeter.
嗨 Rosa
Hey, Rosa!
把我归档到"时髦"如何
Better file me under "E" For "Edgy."
什么 - 麦穗头
What? - Cornrows!
干嘛
Why?
我前妻和她未婚夫总去牙买♥♥加玩
My ex-wife and her fiance go to Jamaica all the time.
他们婚礼派对的主题就是"牙买♥♥加我爱你"
The theme of their party is: "Jamaican me marry you."
真不错
So good!
那个我还缺个女伴
So... I still don't have a date.
我时髦的发型是否让你改变主意了
Unless this sweet maize-head has changed your mind.
你我都知道没有
I think we both know it hasn't.
明白了
We do.
好吧
Fair enough.
你怎么一脸心烦的样子
Why do you look so terrible?
我想阻止警长做那手术
I tried to stop sarge from getting his tubes tied.
但他偷偷溜走去医院了
But he somehow managed to sneak off to the hospital.
你说什么他真要做吗
Zip that lip! He's doing it?
他不肯听我的
He wouldn't listen to me.
说我只是个"普通同事"
He said I was a "Work friend."
啊听着都心寒
Ah, that chills me.
我想起个故事
And it reminds me of a story.
我有一件毛衣我叫它工作毛衣
I had this sweater, and it was a work sweater
因为看起来只适合在工作场合穿
because it only seemed work apropes,
但有一次我穿着它去吃晚餐
but then one time, I wore it out to dinner
我才意识到 "哦天呐"
and I was like, "Oh, dang!"
"这件毛衣无论在哪穿都那么漂亮"
"This sweater is cute everywhere."
我懂了
I get it.
我就是那件毛衣
I'm the sweater.
不
No.
我要告诉警长我能做他的下班后的"交心朋友"
And I have to show the sarge I can be a good friend to him outside of work too.
不
No!
谢谢你 Gina
Thank you, Gina.
我要去拦住他
I'm gonna stop "him.
Jake 我完全不知道你在说什么
Jake, I have no idea what you're talking about,
不过祝你好运
but good luck!
那么再见 Raymond
Well, good-bye, Raymond.
在我评估完成前你还有什么要说吗
Anything you'd like to say to me before I complete my evaluation?
类似一些讨好的话
Something in the form of groveling?
没有
Never.
你想的话就给我不及格吧
Fail me if you must.
你真让她给我们不及格
You're just gonna let her fail us?
对于你所珍视的好成绩我很抱歉 Santiago
I'm sorry about your precious grade, Santiago,
但这不关你事
but this isn't about you.
别跟我来"不关你事"这一套
Don't "This isn't about you" Me!
我才要说 "不关你事"
I'm "This isn't about you"-ing you!
要是评估成绩不合格
That grade is the only thing standing between me
你就再也不能当我警监了
and a future where you're not my captain anymore.
Wuntch给了90片区不及格
Wuntch failed the nine-oh
他们的警监就被开除了
and their captain was fired.
我试着说过好话了但她拒绝听我的
I attempted to cajole her but she rebuffed me.
说好话我也是有底线的
I'm not a man of unlimited cajoling.
你最好放弃底线
Well, you better become one
我还需要你的领导
because I need you in command.
这个片区还需要你领导
This precinct needs you in command.
哄她去吧警监
Cajole up, captain.
警长嘿
Sarge, hey!
你来这做什么小脑袋
What the hell are you doing here, tiny head?
你最好别再教唆我放弃手术
You better not be trying to talk me out of my surgery again.
听着我不是来让你放弃什么的
Look, I'm not trying to talk you out of anything.
我只是准备接你回家
I'm just here to give you a ride home
我想努力证明
and to prove to you once and for all
我不仅仅是你的"普通同事"
that I'm more than just a work friend.
谢谢你微型脑袋
Thank you, microscope head.
嗨有个好消息
Hey, a little bit of good news.
我搞清楚案子了
I figured out the case.
记得Gregory说案发当晚他是在约克街站下的地铁吗
Remember Gregory said he got off the at York Street station the night of the stabbing?
我从这里去搭地铁地铁正关闭修建
Well, I took the subway here, it's closed for construction
那你的意思是
Hmm, so what you're saying is
我捅了他
I stabbed him.
是我♥干♥的
I did it.
先这样我们明天再谈这个
You know what, we'll talk about it tomorrow.
做完手术再见
See you on the other side.
Jake 你说得对我不想做手术小脑袋
Jake you were right, I don't what the surgery, tinny head.
纽约警局放下手术刀不要动我同事的命根子
NYPD, put down the scalpel, step away from my work friend's weiner-tubes
打扮得不错啊 Boyle
Looking good Boyle.
这可不是个好预兆
Ugh, that's not a good sign.
嗨伙计
Hey, mon.
Rosa
Rosa.
你改变主意了
You changed your mind.
我放了约会对象的鸽子
I blew off my date,
决定和你在牙买♥♥加酷刑室度过严酷的一晚
and instead, I'm spending a hellish evening in a Jamaican torture chamber with you.
真的吗
Really?
对接下来我会这么做
Yeah, here is what's about to happen
我们一起去这个糟糕的聚会
We're gonna to this terrible party
你讲笑话我都会笑
I'm gonna laugh at all your jokes
帮你炫耀你的英勇勋章
gonna talk about your medal of valor,
让你看起来像牙买♥♥加节奏之神
and I'm gonna make you look like a Jamaican God of rhythm.
就像<小美人鱼>里的Sebastian
Sebastian from The Little Mermaid.
Sebastian 在动画片里为人鱼王国的音乐大臣
还有明天我会帮你找一套新公♥寓♥
Also, tomorrow I'm gonna help you find a new apartment.
你不能再住前妻的地下室了
Can't live in your ex-wife's basement anymore
哇厉害哦伙计
Wow! Respect, mon.
我要去车里读祝酒词了
I'm gonna read my toast in the car.
你要致祝酒词
You're giving a toast?
不如说我们要致祝酒词
More like, we're giving a toast.
到了
Here we go.
Jake 我有话要对你说
Jake, I have to tell you something.
哦天啊
Oh boy.
我是有点纠结要不要做结扎术