神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E09

Part 4 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:03 p.m.

你应该以此为荣
and you should be proud of it
因为你是我见过最棒的警探
because you are the greatest Detective I've ever known.
那当然了 Diaz 那当然了
No doy, Diaz. No doy.
老娘的文件哪儿去了耶
Where is my file? Yeah!
她真是喝高了再这样下去她脑袋会受不了的
She's so hopped up on that stuff, her brain's gonna blow.
我得去审问那个嫌犯
I'm gonna interrogate the perp.
你把Diaz给看好了
You keep Diaz occupied.
我可不想靠近她那张细菌脸
I don't want to get near her germ face.
能把她锁在隔离室吗
Permission to lock her in a distant room?
不行分散她的注意力就行
No. Just distract her.
好的我会这么做的
Yes. That is what I will do.
Rosa 到这儿来呀
Rosa, come here.
跟你说个秘密
Got to tell you something. It's a secret.
好的但我很忙
Okay, but I have a lot of stuff to do.
什么秘密秘密是什么
What's the secret? What's the secret?
什么秘密呀
What's the secret?
就是这个看见了吧
Here it is. See?
让我出去
Let me out of here.
我还得审犯人
I got to talk to my perp.
很多人觉得炒鸡蛋
You know, many people think that scrambled eggs
最容易做了
are the easiest food to make,
这种想法实在太愚昧
but that is incredibly foolish.
炒鸡蛋其实既精致又复杂
They are a highly nuanced and complicated dish.
好的现在把蛋液倒进锅里
Okay, now, go ahead and pour your eggs right into the pan,
慢慢地小心点
nice and slow.
好了现在呢
Okay, now what do I do?
我的老天爷
Oh, boy.
听见滋滋声了吗
Okay, well, you hear that sizzle?
这说明温度有点高了
That means the heat is a little too high on those eggs.
可是温度越高蛋熟得越快
Well, the higher the heat, the faster the eggs cook,
Kevin就能越早吃上了我有说错吗
the sooner Kevin eats. Am I incorrect?
没有你的想法很对
No, you make an excellent point,
但也不能让Kevin吃烧焦的东西对吧
but we don't want to feed Kevin burned garbage.
做菜是需要耐心的
Cooking is about patience.
你是脑子进水了吗
Are you completely insane?
永远不能直接把盐罐子往锅里洒
You never salt can to pan.
要用手手是桥梁懂了吗
The hand... The hand is the middle man. Okay?
在烹饪界你刚才的做法就像上♥床♥没戴套一样
What you did is the culinary equivalent of unprotected sex.
知道吗
You know what?
你长官还没有达到炒鸡蛋的水平
You, sir, are not ready to scramble eggs.
交出你的锅铲
Hand over your spatula.
没问题
Fine.
我只希望能找回
I only wish in return I could get back all the time
花在这些无用功上的时间
I just wasted on this futile project.
我就给Kevin烤面包当早餐好了
I'm just gonna make Kevin plain toast for breakfast.
逼格太低了
Oh, that is low.
Boyle 我闻到了糊味
Hey, Boyle. I smell burning.
Hitchcock又在暖气片上烤玉米了吗
Is Hitchcock roasting corn on the radiator again?
没有
No.
你闻到的是我和警监关系的一塌糊涂
What you smell is the burning wreckage of my relationship with Holt.
所以没有烤玉米了
So there's no corn on the cob?
你的分手理由是我爱喝啤酒
The main reason you want to break up with me is the pilsners?
我我也爱喝其他酒啊
I-I like other drinks.
琼浆玉露我还想要
It's delicious. I want more.
不仅仅是啤酒的事
It's not just the pilsners.
还有很多其他原因
There are so many reasons I want to break up.
听起来不太对啊
That sounded bad, didn't it?
作为律师让你及时住嘴是我的义务
As a lawyer, it's my duty to tell you to shh.
好吧其实是我们之间没有激♥情♥了
Okay, look. There's just no spark between us.
听起来有点含糊
That's vague.
是因为你很无趣
Uh, you're... Boring.
不这样说太残忍♥了
No, that's too harsh.
所以我才想写下来斟词酌句的嘛
This is why I wanted to write it down.
能给我两个小时用用电脑吗
Can I maybe just have two hours alone with my laptop,
我要打一份草稿
so I can type up a draft?
好主意
Great idea.
在这期间我们可以随便聊聊
In the meantime, we can just chat.
我想说我们该走了
You know what? We should go.
不我认为你们该留下
No, actually, I think you should stay,
我们可以谈谈
so we can all talk about the real reason
我和Amy的恋爱中真正的绊脚石
there's a problem in my relationship with Amy,
那就是你 Jake
which is you, Jake.
不什么情况
Buh... what now, huh?
可以谈谈你做卧底前向她告白的事
About how you told her that you liked her before you went undercover.
你喜欢过Amy
You liked Amy?
是喜欢过
I did,
但已经是很久以前的事了
but that was many moons ago.
是吗
Was it?
我知道你回来以后也告白过
'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back,
每次你说这件事
and every time you would,
她就会很困扰
she would get "Confused,"
然后我们的恋爱就止步不前
And then our relationship would get "Out of sync,"
要我说这是因为她也喜欢你
And if you ask me, i think it's because Amy liked you back.
真的吗
Did you?
也许吧
Maybe.
是吧
Yes.
有一点
A little.
我当时很困扰
I mean, I was confused.
我现在真的需要一台电脑
And I really need my laptop right now.
抱歉这信息量对我来说太大了
You know what, this is officially too much for me,
我得去楼上揪几个娃娃的脑袋
so I'm gonna go upstairs and rip the heads off some dolls.
晚安
Good night.
我也该走了
I'm gonna leave too.
麻烦你把我的牙刷
If you would please leave my toothbrush
和家用酿酒桶放门口
and my home brewing kit at the doorstep,
我明天去取
I'll pick them up tomorrow.
我猜这是我最后一次邀请Teddy出来玩了哈
Well, I guess that's the last time i invite Teddy on a trip, right?
生活处处是惊喜
Drama.
我得走了
I'm gonna go.
我也是
Yeah, me too.
嘿是我
Hey, it's me.
开开门吧
Please open the door.
拜托我们谈谈我很抱歉
Come on, let's talk. I'm sorry.
有什么需要帮忙的吗
Can I help you?
不你不是Sophia
Oh, no, you're not Sophia.
Jake 在这边
Hey, Jake. Over here, man.
不好意思先生
Oh. I am so sorry, sir.
你的房♥号♥错了
You were a wrong door.
是你敲错了吧
You were a wrong door.
说啥呢
What?
愤怒的小老头啊
That's a very angry man.
我知道刚才的事听起来很尴尬
Look, I know what that sounded like at dinner,
但我发誓我不喜欢Amy了
but I promise you, I am not into Amy.
这跟听起来无关 Jake
It's not what I heard, Jake.
重要的是我所看到的
It's what I saw.
你真该看看你当时的表情
You should've seen the look on your face
在你听说Amy喜欢你的时候
when you found out Amy liked you.
听我说的是什么话
Listen to me.
"喜欢过"
"Liked"?
我是成年人了
I'm an adult.
这种谁喜欢谁的把戏太幼稚了
All this who-likes-who stuff sounds very High School.
我知道很蠢你说得对
I know, it's stupid. You're totally right.
但重点是我喜欢的是你
But the point is, I like you.
你确定对Amy没感觉了吗
And you're sure you're over Amy?
确定
Yes.
我可没敲Amy的门
I mean, I didn't knock on Amy's door.
敲的是你的
I knocked on yours.
其实你敲的是他的门
Actually, you knocked on his door.
而且我敢肯定他在偷听
And I'm pretty sure he's listening.
我没有
No, I'm not.