神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E19

Part 5 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:05 p.m.

I was so concerned with saving myself and my reputation
把我的朋友都逼走了
I pushed all my friends away.
哇
Wow.
听起来你的人生也有转折
Sounds like you're having a breakthrough.
你应该马上行动起来
You should act on this.
你还有时间去改正
You still have time to make it right.
真的吗你不打算杀我了
Really? You're not gonna kill me?
噢老天
Oh, jeez.
我完全忘了
I totally forgot.
谢谢提醒啊我当然是要杀你的
Thanks for reminding me. Of course I'm gonna kill you.
嗑药之后我总说一些蠢话
Drugs make me say such silly things.
毒品真是蠢
Drugs are so silly.
喔我现在就准备吸一点
Ooh, I'm gonna do some right now.
Hoytsman - 什么
Hoytsman. - What?
呀 - 噢
Hyah! - Oh!
天哪你撞我的鼻子
God! That's my nose!
我的鼻子是要用来吸毒的
That's where I put the drugs in!
呀 - 噢
Gyah! - Oh!
再见了 Hoytsman
So long, Hoytsman.
哈呀
Hyah!
我动不了
I can't move!
我像一个没法翻身的乌龟
I'm turtling. I'm turtling!
干得不错 Jake
Nice try, Jake.
起来
Get up!
我起不来
I can't.
噢
Oh.
对噢怪我
Yeah. Okay. My bad.
这是什么
What's this?
我要卖♥♥掉我的烟雾机礼花筒和响板
I'm selling my smoke machine, glitter cannon, and castanets.
这些东西本来承载了我的灵魂
I would've put my soul on there,
但是它们已经和我的塑身短裤一样粉碎了
but that was shredded along with my spandies.
Gina 我要告诉你一些事
Gina, I want to tell you something.
对你来说跳舞不只是一个爱好
Dancing is more than just a hobby for you.
而是一个专业
It's a profession.
噢所以你现在和Terry一样开始撒谎了
Oh, so you're a liar like Terry now?
不我才不是买♥♥兔子的懦夫
No, I'm no bunny-buying coward.
你是一个专业的舞者
You are a professional dancer,
因为我付钱雇了"舞动里根"
because I'm paying Dancy Reagan
在我们的贫困儿童项目上表演两支舞蹈
to perform two shows at our at-risk youth program.
恭喜你
Congratulations.
谢谢你警监
Thank you, Captain.
你让我变成了全世界最幸福
You just made me the happiest, prettiest,
最漂亮最有天赋的女孩
most talented girl in the world.
这是你花的最棒的八千刀了
This is the best $8,000 you ever spent.
这是两百刀
It's $200.
剩下的钱你肯定也愿意付的
I'm sure you're good for the rest.
警监爱我的舞蹈
Captain loves my dancing.
这就是你孤独的原因 Jake
This is why you're alone, Jake.
我们本来在交心
We were bonding,
谈论彼此的痛苦
talking about our pain,
然后你突然来这么一出
and you pull a stunt like that?
你要杀了我
You were gonna kill me.
转移话题
Deflect, deflect, deflect.
所以每个人都恨你
This is why everyone hates you.
有人吗
You open?
好了你给我乖乖闭嘴
Okay. You keep it shut.
我需要这笔生意
I really need this sale.
你好女哇噢
Hello, ma... whoa!
别伤害我
Don't hurt me!
我是别人的小宝贝
I'm someone's little boy.
Geoffrey Hoytsman 你被逮捕了
Geoffrey Hoytsman, you're under arrest.
嗷
Ow.
噢还好你们找到我了
Oh, I am so relieved you guys found me.
等等你们是怎么找到我的
Wait, how did you find me?
你有差不多五个小时
You hadn't done anything super annoying to us
没来烦我们了
for, like, five hours,
我们就知道有什么不对劲
so we knew something was wrong.
噢有点侮辱人
Oh, that's very insulting
不过很明智
but dead on.
我们看了那些你发来的神经自♥拍♥
We looked through those irritating selfies you sent us,
其中三张的背景里
and in the background of three of them
都出现了这辆冰淇淋车
was an ice cream truck.
我们洗出照片发了通缉令
We ran the plates and put out an APB.
很抱歉我们之前怀疑没人陷害你
I'm sorry we doubted anybody was sabotaging you.
不应该道歉的是我才对
No, I'm the one who should apologize.
出于某种原因我不相信
For some reason, I have trouble believing
你们可以真的帮到我
people actually have my back.
我不知道为什么
I don't know why.
也许因为我爸爸抛弃了我
Probably my dad abandoning me.
可能是需要去看心理医生的问题
Maybe something I should work out in therapy, but...
不过谁能每两个星期空出一个小时呢是吧
who has an hour to spare once every two weeks, right?
总之
Anyways,
我很抱歉我之前像个混♥蛋♥一样
I'm sorry I acted like a jackass.
哇 Jake 你戒了可♥卡♥因♥之后整个人都变得很真诚呢
Wow, Jake, you're so sincere since you got off coke.
还有冰♥毒♥ 那可是很难戒的
And meth. That was the hard one to kick.
不最难戒的是天使粉
No, the hard one to kick is angel dust,
所以我一辈子都没法摆脱它
which is why I am locked in for life.
嗨
Hey.
我检查了一遍你们的证据
I double checked your evidence.
完全没错
Everything looks good.
我得说
I got to say...
你们俩是很好的警♥察♥
you guys are good cops.
当然还用你说
Hyeah, no doy!
要不我们怎么会是这里待得最久的人
How do you think we got to be the oldest guys here?
因为从没升过职
By never being promoted
而且在离婚官司里花光了所有的钱
and losing all your money to divorces?
还有那些烂发明
And bad investments.
总之我很抱歉之前说你们没用
Anyway, I'm sorry for calling you useless.
我要告诉所有人你们干得很漂亮
I'm gonna make sure everyone knows you did good.
Boyle 拜托不用了 - 不用吗
Boyle, please don't. - Don't?
我们最不想的就是
The last thing we need
忽然变成人气警探
is to suddenly be on everyone's A list.
万众瞩目
The ones to watch.
警界金童
The golden boys.
猛♥男♥兄弟
Pair of red hot dicks.
现在没人这么称呼警探了
No one calls detectives that anymore.
以前他们会这么叫吗
People call detectives that?
那些调查刑侦的事太烦人了
All that investigating was exhausting.
而且我们在七八十年代贡献了自己的青春
Besides, we did our share of that in the '70s and '80s.
现在更想要在舒服的椅子里做一些文书工作
Now we like to do paperwork in our comfy chairs.
如果我们离开办公桌很久的话
If we're away from our desks for too long,
他们就会更新我们的电脑就没"扫雷"玩了
they'll update our computers, and we'll lose Minesweeper.
所以拜托不要告诉任何人
So please, don't tell anyone
我们今天干了这么不可思议的活儿
about the amazing work we did today.
我没说"不可思议"啊
I never said "Amazing."
你们就是在做自己的工作而已
You kind of just did your jobs.
对就这样
There you go.
不说真的
No, really.
你们还打破了一扇窗户
I mean, you also broke a window.
就是这样
Now you get it.
你的停职被撤销了 Peralta
Your suspension has been lifted, Peralta.
真是个好消息警监
Well, that's great news, sir.
现在到了经典的
And now it is time for the traditional
把枪和警徽还给无辜英雄的仪式了
handing back of gun and badge to the vindicated hero ceremony.
所有人进来
Everyone in!
你的枪和警徽不在我这里
I don't have your gun or your badge.
自己拿着891_J表格去设备室
Just take form 891-underscore-J down to the equipment room
把东西领回去吧
and retrieve your things there.
抱歉我无法接受
I'm sorry, but that's unacceptable.
拜托了警监我需要这个
Come on, Captain. I need this.
我们都需要这一幕