神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E09

Part 2 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:03 p.m.

"一千只娃娃"的房♥间
"The room of a thousand dolls."
哦听上去好毛骨悚然
Oh, sounds creepy.
超级毛骨悚然
Super creepy.
我一会儿上去把行李拿出来然后洗个澡
So I'm gonna go unpack, and then I'm gonna take a bath,
再然后我们去吃晚饭再再然后
and then we have dinner, and then...
就开搞
Doin' it.
我本来打算说吃甜品
I was gonna say "Dessert."
喔同义词不错更好
Oh. Synonym. Cool. Better.
Amy 一会儿再见
Hey, Amy. I'll see you later.
好一会儿见
Okay, see you later.
对了
Oh, hey, before I forget,
尽量在半小时之后到大堂来
try to be in the lobby in about a half an hour.
我给你准备了一个小惊喜
I got you a little surprise.
不要
No.
你的惊喜通常都很可怕
Your surprises are always terrible.
发生了什么告诉我
What's going on? You have to tell me.
你会很喜欢的
You're gonna love this.
你记得你之前说Teddy从来不会做浪漫的事
Remember how you said that Teddy would never be so romantic
比如把因公去上州出差
as to turn a work trip upstate
变成情侣去郊外的一次静养吗
into a lover's retreat to the country?
不
Oh, no.
没错
Oh, yes.
我们出发之前我打了电♥话♥给他
I called him before we left.
他正在过来的路上
He's on his way here now.
不用谢哥
Uh, you're welcome.
Jake 我现在不想见Teddy
Jake, I don't want to see Teddy right now.
我打算跟他分手
I'm about to break up with him.
哦
Oh,
不不不不
nooo...
Jake 你为什么要把Teddy邀请过来
Jake, why did you invite Teddy up here?
你用蓝色汽水污染我的人生
You poured blue soda all over my life.
我知道对不起好不
I know. I'm sorry, all right?
我只是想帮忙而已
I was just trying to help.
两杯枫叶马提尼
Two maple-tinis.
你瞧瞧
Look at that.
那是真的枫糖浆吗
Is that real syrup?
哦对不起
Right. Sorry.
手头上的问题比较严重
Disaster at hand.
你们俩之间发生了什么
Look, what happened with you guys?
我以为你们感情很好
I thought you were solid.
你们不是开了张共同的借书卡吗
Didn't you just get a joint library card?
别提了
Don't remind me.
要跟他分清这事得一个月
I'm gonna be untangling that web for a month.
我们之间不再有火花了
There's just no spark between us anymore.
我们的爱好不同
We have different interests.
他有空的时候只想
All he wants to do with his free time
自♥制♥皮尔森啤酒
is make and bottle pilsners.
是啊那家伙对酵母菌着迷了
Yeah, that guy is obsessed with yeast.
我们整天只聊这个
It's all we talk about.
Jake 这下糟糕了
Jake, this is gonna be a disaster.
没事的好吗我会想办法的
This is fine, all right? I'll figure it out.
我这就给Teddy打电♥话♥
I'm just gonna call Teddy,
让他转头回家
tell him to turn around and go home.
不行他是个很厉害的警探
No. He's a really good Detective.
他会察觉到哪里不对劲的
He'll figure out something's wrong.
我本来有个严密的分手计划
I had an airtight breakup plan in place.
我在市中心一间光线良好的韩国餐厅
I made a reservation next thursday
预约了一个下周四的位置
at a well-lit Korean restaurant in midtown.
这是我能想象到的最不浪漫的地方
It's the least romantic place I could think of.
那应该是Scully家的厕所不过你继续
Scully's bathroom. But go on.
Teddy是个好男人
Teddy's a really good guy.
我不想说错一些话
I don't want to say the wrong thing
结果太多地伤害到他
and hurt him more than I have to.
所以我已经开始写我的分手词了
That's why I started writing out a breakup speech,
但现在他都快到了
but now he's on his way,
我大纲才写到一半
and I'm only halfway through the outline.
好吧听着这都是我的错
All right, look, this is totally my fault,
我会尽力帮助你就像我答应你的那样
so I promise, I'll do everything I can to help.
今晚我的注意力只会集中在你和Teddy上
Tonight, I will focus solely on you and Teddy.
还有我裸着的女朋友
And my very naked girlfriend.
Sophia完全不在意云端共享耶
Sophia does not care about the cloud at all.
我要上去一小会儿
I'm gonna just head up there for a sec.
嗨
Hey.
你对嫌犯做了些什么
What did you do to that perp?
我听说他要控告警方暴♥力♥执法
I heard he's claiming police brutality.
那货是个脑残我都没碰他
He's an idiot. I didn't touch him.
我就冲着他咳了几下
I just coughed on him a little.
还是让我来帮你吧
Just let me help you.
我会让你那嫌犯开口的
I'll get your perp to talk.
我的游说水平很高的
I can be very persuasive.
我刚说服了闺女们买♥♥仓鼠而不是小马
I just negotiated my baby girls down from a pony to a hamster.
小傻瓜们
Little fools.
我不需要你帮忙我根本就没病
I don't need your help, because I am not sick.
Gina 感冒药哪儿去了
Gina, where is the cold medicine?
非要逼我说出事实来吗
I hate to point out the obvi-o-so,
你没有病为什么还要吃药呢
but why do you need the meds if you're not sick, hmm?
此句是经典万圣节脑筋急转弯问题"吸血鬼为什么要吃感冒药"
为了除掉我这健康身体上的感冒症状
To fight off the cold symptoms that my healthy body is exhibiting.
答案应该是To stop the coughing/coffin(让咳嗽/棺材停下来)(同音梗)
一旦这玩意起了作用我就要回去继续审问
I'm going back in there once this crap dries my head up.
魔鬼
Demon.
好吧如果她不愿意接受咱们的帮助
Okay, if Diaz won't accept our help,
咱就只好暗中(在背后)帮她了
we got to go behind her back.
我们当然要待在她的背后
We definitely should go behind her back.
那儿和细菌的运动方向正好相反
That's the opposite side of where the germs are coming from.
咚咚咚我可真是
Knock-knock. Man, I...
哇洋娃娃洋娃娃
Oh, dolls! Dolls!
太多洋娃娃了啊
Too many dolls!
我知道
I know.
我以为会很有趣但这真的只剩吓人了
I thought it would be funny, but it's just really scary.
有一个还看着我洗澡
One of them watched me bathe.
没错我们一定要把它们翻过去
Yeah, we should definitely turn them around.
对
Yeah.
哦不它们的背上还写着自己的名字
Oh, no, they have their names written on the back.
人家是Meredith
I'm Meredith.
你愿意当我的妈妈吗
Will you be my mother?
我的天哪
Oh, God.
哦好吧听着
Oh, okay, look.
这些洋娃娃是很蛋疼但只要咱们埋了它们
The dolls are gross, but I think once we bury them,
这地方还能变得温馨浪漫起来
this place could be kind of romantic.
没错当然了的确
Yeah, totally. Yeah.
但更浪漫的是穿好衣服出去遛弯
But you know what would be even more romantic is hanging out, fully clothed,
并且让两个坠出爱河的人陪着咱们
with two other people who have fallen out of love.
你又干嘛了
What did you do?
好吧你别生气
All right, don't be mad.
我请Teddy来给Amy一个惊喜
I invited Teddy up to surprise Amy,
但我才知道Amy想和Teddy分手
but it turns out she wants to break up with him.
于是我答应她在他们俩中间插一脚
And now I promised her that I would run interference,
我感觉自己让你和你的小鬼娃们受了委屈
and I feel like I let you and all of our demon children down.
喔没关系的
Oh, it's okay.
你只是想给好朋友一个惊喜
You were just trying to do something really nice for a friend,
结果就坏了事了
and it blew up in your face
还坏得异常惨烈
rather spectacularly.
哥干啥都轰轰烈烈真是没办法
Everything I do is spectacular. It's a curse.
谢谢你能理解我
Thank you for being understanding.
嗯那你记着点
Yeah, well, for the record:
我是个很赞的女朋友 - 最赞的
Very cool girlfriend. - The coolest.
说起来 Teddy赶过来还要半个多小时
Hey, and Teddy doesn't get here for another 30 minutes.
在那之前
Till then...
来一发咯 - 听起来很棒
Let's make out? - Great plan.
这个嘛
Eh...